


Of Madness and Sandcastles

by StormyInk



Category: Naruto
Genre: Action/Adventure, F/M, Romance, eventual explicit/mature
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-27
Updated: 2013-09-27
Packaged: 2017-12-27 18:17:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 44,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/982089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StormyInk/pseuds/StormyInk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sasuke has returned to the village but still struggles to overcome his moments of madness. Sakura seeks help from the one person who has lived through the depths of psychosis & has come through with shinning colors. What she doesn't count on was becoming so enchanted with the kazekage himself. <br/>Slight SasuSaku</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

There had to be  _something_ she could do. She gripped the wooden railing tightly, feeling the rain begin to pelt her filthy, bloodied lab coat. She groaned and hunkered forward, her gargantuan,  _useless_ forehead pressing against the very edge of the roof. She was soaked within a matter of minutes.

"Sakura?"

Weakly, she lifted her hand and waved. "Shikamaru."

She heard him sigh, then felt the roof vibrate as he landed beside her. "Sakura…why are you on my roof?"

With great effort, she lifted herself up and sat back on her haunches. She lifted her blood streaked face up and let the rain wash her skin. "You smell like smoke."

He made an annoyed ticking sound. "You smell like blood."

"I'm covered in it."

"Seeing as you're a medic-nin that's quite normal." She felt something soft and warm strike her side. She opened her eyes and smiled weakly, wrapping his jacket around her frail, freezing shoulders gratefully. "What isn't normal," Shikamaru continued, his tone becoming ever more exasperated. "Is that there's a medic-nin covered in blood on  _my roof_."

She grimaced. "I need your help, Shika-kun."

Another sigh. " 'Shika-kun', huh? It must be really bad."

She laughed, but it sounded half-crazed to her own ears, and before she knew it she was shaking violently. She slumped forward again and tried to stifle her sobs but they broke up her rib cage and out of her throat. "Sasuke-kun is so screwed up." She could still see the cuts all over his pale skin, feel his beautiful hands hard around her throat and punching her stomach, cracking across her jaw. She could still see the way he'd slammed her against a tree and punctured her chest with his kusanagi. She shut her eyes. "We were just sparring and then he…he really tried to  _kill_ me, Shikamaru. It's not his fault he just—he didn't  _know_ it was me—he wasn't seeing me—"

"Sakura." Shikamaru interrupted, holding his hand out. "Come inside. You have my jacket and I'm freezing."

"I…I used up all my chakra to heal myself and Sasuke-kun. I don't think…"

He nodded and lifted her, leaping off his roof lithely. He struggled to hold her up and perform the seals to unravel his traps, then opened his door.

"Shikamaru!" Sakura winced, seeing his mother gaping at them in utter shock. She dropped the box she was carrying instantly. "Sakura-san? Are you hurt?" She walked over to them, her hands fluttering wildly over her beaten and bloodied body. "Who did this to you?"

Sakura felt her face crumple, and she buried her nose in Shikamaru's chest. "I'm sorry, Yoshino-san." She choked through her blubbering.

"She just used up all her chakra. Bad case at the hospital." Shikamaru explained quietly, and she saw a curious blush stain his cheeks. "Where do I put her?"

His mother bustled to the kitchen and pulled out a heavy wooden chair. Kicking off his sandals, he hefted her up with a grunt, then sat her down carefully. "I'll get some towels—Shikamaru, make Sakura-san some tea  _and let the water boil_!"

She heard him whisper  _troublesome_ beneath his breath, but he grabbed the kettle nonetheless. Several minutes passed and the warmth of the kitchen began to soothe her tears away. How long had it been since she had cried so much? She pushed her fingertips against the back of her swollen eyelids and massaged them. She was wrapped in several fluffy towels and Yoshino had combed through the knots in her hair and tied it up swiftly, patting her back affectionately. Then she'd left to continue packing and give them some privacy.

She almost felt human again.

Shikamaru slid a porcelain cup into her icy fingers and sat across from her. He kept his dark gaze on the drenched window pane beside them as he spoke. "This isn't the first time Sasuke has showed mental instabilities, Sakura."

The tea burned her chapped lips. "We don't have much information about mental illnesses." She took another sip, felt her hollow stomach churn hungrily. "The 'treatments' they suggest are cruel, fanciful descriptions of torture. Some scrolls are simply one large persuasive essay about how killing a crazed shinobi is  _merciful_." She sucked in a badly needed breath. "I have to help him, Shika-kun. I need to find a way  _before_ they order his detainment and execution. I won't let them hurt him."

He groaned, letting his head loll back. "And what makes you think I can help you, Sakura?"

She shrunk in on herself a little more, drawing her knees up and hugging them. "I don't know." Her whisper felt like defeat. "You're brilliant—I thought, maybe you could see something I missed. Maybe you could tell me what to do. Sai agrees that killing him would be the best course of action and Naruto is just so happy that he's back, so happy that he's going to be hokage, he's so damn  _oblivious_ and I don't have the heart to stick this knife in him."

He drummed his fingers on the table pensively. "You've looked through all the material Konoha can provide?"

She nodded grimly. "I asked Tsunade-sama but she says we can heal the mind  _physically_ but that a mental illness is something else entirely. She said she's had much experience dealing with mental illnesses but never experience  _treating_ them. The only other medic nin I can think of is…Orochimaru."

Someone rapped on the door.

"In a minute!" Shikamaru's mom hollered from down the hall.

Yoshino walked into the living room carrying a small suitcase. She placed it quietly on the box she'd dropped earlier and spent several minutes fixing up her mussed hair and fluffing the pillows.

"Perhaps you don't need a medic nin…" Shikamaru muttered, scratching his head with a scowl.

"Temari- chan!" Yoshino exclaimed happily, and they both turned.

Temari bowed respectfully, the edge of her huge fan smacking against the doorway. She was soaking wet and looked haggard and miserable. "Yoshino-san," Temari began, her voice sounding rough and raw. "I was wondering if I could speak with Shikamaru."

She needed to leave. Sakura quickly drank the rest of her tea, letting it burn the inside of her throat and fill her hungry stomach.

"Of course you can!" Yoshino tugged Temari inside. "Wait here—let me get you a towel—you poor thing! How long have you been out there?" Yoshino didn't bat an eyelash as she whisked Temari inside.

She wondered if half-drowned kunoichis were a regular in this household.

"Perhaps," Shikamaru murmured as Temari and Yoshino made small talk. "You need someone who has been touched by madness before and gotten through it."

Sakura felt herself go very still as her gaze sifted towards Temari. For a split moment she didn't quite understand. But she remembered all too well the way Gaara had looked during the Chunin exams, how he'd turned into a blood crazed beast. The way her body had nearly snapped within his sand's claw.

"Hello, Sakura." Temari smiled at her tiredly. She glanced at Shikamaru, a lovely blush tinting her cheeks. "Is…is this a bad time?" Temari was lovely, despite her haggard appearance. Her black, wet clothing clung to her curvy form beautifully, and her wet skin looked flushed and almost dewy. Sakura sighed dejectedly and turned her thoughts back to what Shikamaru had said about not needing a medic-nin...she remembered Gaara's crazed cries as he evolved into the shukaku.

But more than that she remembered when they had saved him, how calm and soft spoken he'd become, how he was almost gentle.

Still looking at Temari wide-eyed, she whispered airlessly. "Shikamaru, I love you."

Yoshino gasped and covered her mouth with her hand.

Temari's face twisted into something pained—she turned back towards the door. "Never mind."

"No!" Sakura leapt forward, reaching for her desperately, but her knees buckled beneath her and they hit the floor hard. Still, her hand refused to lose its grip from Temari's black sleeve. "Temari, I didn't mean that! I mean, I do love Shika-kun but only as a friend."

Temari looked unbearably uncomfortable. "Why are you on your knees?"

She gave a weak laugh. "My legs aren't working."

Temari sighed, stooping to loop Sakura's arm around her neck pulling her onto her feet. "You look like you went through hell, Sakura."

The note of concern in Temari's voice made Sakura's smile soften. "I need a favor, Temari-chan."

She hefted her into the chair and propped her hands on her full hips. " "Temari-chan', eh? It must be something big."

* * *

"Good morning, Sasuke-kun." Sakura murmured gently, stepping into his cell carefully.

Sasuke turned his head, seeing her give him her brightest smile. The false expression didn't suit her very well. He looked away, cursing the grogginess of the sedatives he'd been forced to take earlier. "Morning." He muttered.

She hovered over him briefly, touching his forehead and running her hands over him in a quick examination. He inhaled her familiar scent; lavender and antiseptics. It was as soothing as it was odd. Finding his health satisfactory, she sat on the small empty cot across from him, curling her legs underneath her in that childish habit she'd had since they were children. She placed a small bag onto her lap and pulled out a small bento box. "I brought you breakfast." She set it on the small table between them, placing the chopsticks beside it. She was aiming for cheerfulness but he knew her much too well to miss the hollowness of her green gaze. She pulled out a small apple and began to peel and slice it with small, deft fingers. "I know the food they serve here can be a bit bland and I know how you're picky with your food." She babbled airily, her pink locks looking disheveled. It had grown since he'd returned to the village, he thought blearily. It was just a few inches past her shoulders.

"I'm not a very good cook so I tried to keep it simple." She tugged out a small plate and arranged the apple slices on it prettily. She held out the plate to him with both hands, almost beseechingly. "Would you like some apple slices, Sasuke-kun?"

He watched her darkly, memories ricocheting within his skull painfully. The way he'd struck the plate violently away. The look in her eyes when he'd been about to drive his chidori through her head. The sound of his fist striking her jaw. The blood that had gurgled from her lips as he'd stabbed her small body.

"Sakura…I…" Sasuke swallowed. He felt the dizziness plague him again and he struggled to remember what he'd been about to say.

"It's okay, Sasuke-kun."

He looked up at her, saw that her cheerful grin had been replaced by a very somber expression. It aged her, made her look less like a child and more like the capable kunoichi she was. She placed the plate back into her lap, her bottle-green gaze never leaving him. "You've been through a lot of pain, and you have wounds that even I can't fully heal." She smiled self-deprecatingly. "What you did…what you've done wasn't you." She grabbed a slice and broke it cleanly in half.

He watched her envelop her fingertip in chakra as she nervously minced the broken slice into mush. "I can't remember certain things." He admitted. It felt as if he had cotton for a tongue. "It feels as if…I'm being eaten from the inside out." He scowled softly, refused to admit the fear that felt like ice in veins.

He heard her inhale shakily. "I came to tell you that I'll be going on a mission. I'm going to be gone for two weeks, the least, perhaps longer." She held out the plate again and he sat up unsteadily.

He took it from her gently. "You're going alone?"

She nodded quickly. "On this mission I can gain some insight into your mental…condition."

His hand paused before the apple slice could pass his lips. "Sakura…" His scowl deepened. "What do you intend to do?"

She drew her knees up and hugged them, averting her gaze. "I'm going to study a shinobi who has dealt with psychosis before."

He put the plate onto the table with a clatter. "No."

"Sasuke-kun, I'm—"

"You're going to study a crazed ninja who could  _kill_ you in a moment of madness like I almost did?" He crossed his arms over his chest, his scowl of displeasure almost comical. "Do Naruto and Kakashi know this?"

She almost rolled her eyes. "I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself, Sasuke-kun. Besides, he is no longer a  _crazed_ shinobi." She grabbed the plate and held it out yet again. "He managed to overcome it and is now a very noble shinobi that his entire village can depend on."

He took the plate from her again. He bit into an apple slice with irritation. "Who is he?"

"Gaara."

He slammed the plate back onto the table childishly. She looked ridiculously frail and small as she hugged her knees, her coral pink locks and wide green eyes more befitting of a doll. But dolls couldn't change the landscape with a kick of their heel, or crack cliffs with a light punch, he reminded himself. Still, he remembered all too well how Gaara had nearly killed her. The way she'd bravely and  _idiotically_ put herself between himself and Gaara.

After a few taut moments he spoke none too happily. "You're going to Suna."

She nodded. "He has accepted my request. Gaara is a very close friend of Naruto's and he has assured me that as Kazekage he will ensure my safety and that I will receive as much information as he can give. I can't pass up this opportunity, Sasuke-kun. I was even contemplating hunting down Orochimaru." She admitted flippantly, and he stiffened.

"Sakura…"

She shivered and shut her eyes. And it was almost easier to ask now that those moss green eyes weren't staring into his soul. "Why are you…why are you and Naruto so willing to do so much for me? What do either of you get by helping me?"

Her pink lashes fluttered as she grinned at him. "We get to keep you with us. We get to see you happier, Sasuke-kun. And for that Naruto, Kakashi and I would do anything."

* * *

"Kazekage-sama."

Gaara stirred, lifting his head from his scroll and paper littered desk. When had he fallen asleep?

"What is it?" He rubbed his face tiredly.

The blonde shinobi—whose name he couldn't remember—fiddled nervously. "Temari-sama has arrived. Baki-sama informed us that you wished to be informed when she returned no matter the hour."

Gaara frowned at him, sensing the turmoil the shinobi was under. "Is there something else you need to inform me of?"

He nodded. "Yes. Temari-sama was—!"

The door flew open and Temari shoved the shinobi ungraciously aside. Her clothing was torn, her fan broken, and she was wild-eyed and breathless. "Gaara! We were attacked." She hunched forward and attempted to catch her breath, her shaking hands on her knees.

"I told you to stop running!" Kankuro followed close behind her, hooking her arm around his neck to help her stay on her feet.

"Get the medics." Gaara commanded the blonde shinobi, who scurried away quickly. He rushed over to her. "Where are you injured?"

She shook her head. "Sakura healed me, mostly—all I have are scratches. But Gaara—they have Sakura. They captured her and I'm the reason they caught her."


	2. Chapter 2

She didn't  _hate_ Temari, really, but she didn't particularly  _like_ her at the moment. She sighed, wincing as she shifted over the rough cold ground. The chains rattled heavily as she struggled to sit up for the billionth time. She glared at the cuffs chafing her pale wrists, cursing them with every ounce of hate she could muster. She was desperately thirsty and her stomach was nearly eating itself.

If they hadn't placed chakra seals on them she could have broken them and crushed all of their  _idiotic_ heads with a few flicks of her finger.

It's what she had been doing when they'd been clearing through them like hawks chasing rodents. They'd been a bit competitive, and Sakura had welcomed the burn of her muscles as she'd kicked, punched, and slammed the turmoil that'd been pent up within her for weeks. For a while it had been comically easy, she'd even pressed a hand to Temari's back to heal her while her free arm and legs had kicked and crushed.

"Getting tired, Haruno?" Temari had called out playfully and Sakura had grinned, dropping her hand.

"I could do this in my sleep, Te-ma-ri."

She slammed her opponent into the ground with a swift quick, shattering the ground and forcing several of the male shinobis into the air. They slammed into the walls and fell like puppets cut from their strings.

But then chakra laced chains had flown towards her—she grabbed the man she'd just crushed and used him as a shield. At the end of the chain had been a large open cuff and it had instantly snapped tightly around the man's arm.

Then she'd seen the seal on it glow briefly.  _Chakra seals._ They were trying to cut her flow of chakra off. More and more men were erupting from the sand about them, carrying the same chains.

"Temari!" Sakura shouted breathlessly, grabbing the chain and snapping it easily between her gloved hands. "Don't let the cuffs on the chains touch you! They'll seal your chakra!"

Temari had let out a laugh, throwing her head back recklessly. "I can blast away those chains with a flick of my fan."

They were surrounding them quickly and she was breaking the ground about them frantically, trying to scatter them. "Temari we need to run!"

"I can handle this, Sakura."

"Temari if we don't have chakra—"

Several chains flew towards them and Temari swung her fan swiftly, blowing them back easily. "They won't be able to touch me."

She heard the chains jangle a moment too late. "Temari!"

Temari spun, swinging her huge fan in a full circle, blowing all of the chains away—along with Sakura.

" _Sakura!_ "

She flipped through mid-air several times, and landed on the ground with a hard crack, her fist embedding itself in the soft sand where she saw the skull of a hidden ninja. She tried to pull her hand out—and realized she couldn't. A cuff clicked around her wrist, the sound ominous and final. She sucked in a swift breath—and kicked his face in, making his head snap back.

"Temari, run!"

More chains flew towards her and she blocked them as best as she could but they inevitably snapped on every one of her limbs. Temari was struggling valiantly to get to her but she was being overrun by sheer numbers. _Where the hell are they all coming from?_

"Temari run and get help!" They'd sealed off the chakra in her limbs only—she head butted the nearest shinobi, making him scream and drop down in pain. Someone punched her gut but she cushioned it with chakra. " _I said leave, Temari!_ "

And then she'd ran.

And here she was, in some god forsaken dungeon with chains on her wrists, legs, waist and neck. They'd learned very quickly that she could use  _every_ part of her body, shoulders and hips included.

She heard the metal groan of a door turning on its rusty hinges. She cracked open her eyes and squinted. "I'm not going to bloody eat." She growled, grimacing as she remembered the taste of the soup they'd given her. It had tasted like piss. In fact she wouldn't be surprised if they had poured bodily fluids in her dish—she would have preferred they'd poisoned it. But she was still so very hungry. Her head ached unbearably.

"Haruno Sakura."

That voice. She sat upright—coughed when the cuff around her neck struck her windpipe. After several moments of struggling and curses, she stood, straining against the chains bolted to the stone wall. "Orochimaru?"

He was hooded, fully cloaked, only his pale hands and feet were visible. He tilted his head to the side, and she felt her heart speed up at the sight of his yellow, snake like eyes. "How is Sasuke-kun?"

She should be fear stricken. She should be in despair, or angry or desperate that such a powerful enemy had her helpless in his grasp yet as she looked at him she could only sink to her knees and smile crazily. She couldn't believe her luck.

"Orochimaru-sama," She began politely, almost enjoying the utterly bewildered look that flickered across his features. Perhaps he had expected tears. "Sasuke-kun is happy back in Konoha. He is almost perfectly fine except for…" She hesitated. Should she tell him everything? Would it be wise? Wouldn't Orochimaru only try to take over Sasuke's body again?

"Except?" Orochimaru prompted.

She wouldn't let him get near him. "Sasuke-kun is slowly losing his mind. I've tried several medications, read every book Konoha has, tried injecting chakra into his brain to find the damaged parts but  _nothing_ works. I'm running out of options and—"

"And you want my help?"

She nodded simply.

"Why would I help you? I have you chained and powerless. You'd be a fine bargaining tool. I could use you to lure Sasuke-kun back."

She grimaced. "You care for Sasuke-kun, don't you?" She fiddled with the chains idly. "They have Sasuke-kun detained so you wouldn't be able to bargain me for anything. He hurts himself on a daily basis. There have been several instances where he has tried to commit suicide and I have barely managed to keep him alive. If you care for Sasuke-kun, or simply care that his body can one day be your vessel, shouldn't you want to keep him in optimal condition?"

He smiled at her appreciatively. Slowly, he removed his hood and tugged off a small earring. There was a small key hooked onto it and he entered her cell with an almost relish. He walked over to her, eyeing her speculatively. "You're very intelligent, Sakura-chan." He grabbed her chin, his slitted pupils touching over her features quickly. "I could almost see why Sasuke-kun always had a soft spot for you." He ran his thin fingers through her blood streaked hair. "Almost." His thumb trailed over her split bottom lip. She shivered in revulsion. "But not quite."

"You won't help me?" She shut her eyes.

He pulled away, murmuring to himself as he paced within her small cell. "I'll help myself and Sasuke-kun."

She slumped in on herself in relief. "Thank you, Orochimaru-sama." She wouldn't cry. "Not only for this but during the war you supported Sasuke-kun's decision to protect Konoha and—"

Suddenly Orochimaru was hunched over her, his hand grabbing a fistful of her hair and ripping her head back, exposing her neck. She gave a muffled cry and struggled briefly but he held her still. "You'll make a good messenger."

He bit her neck and she blacked out.

* * *

"But, Gaara-sama, you can't—"

"I can't what?" Gaara asked softly, slipping his black shirt over his mesh shirt. He turned to lift his vest over his head, ignoring Baki as he tied it securely over his chest.

"We can send our best anbu, Gaara, we can send Kankuro, but you cannot leave this village. If this is a ploy to leave the village susceptible to attack you will damn us all by walking into their trap so willingly."

"Haruno Sakura is one of Konoha's most prized shinobi. She is the fifth hokage's disciple and she saved Kankuro's life when no one else could. Not only that but she is one of Uzumaki Naruto's closest friends. She came to help him save me from the Akatsuki's clutches when I had nearly killed her before."  _And,_ he thought privately, she had reminded him of someone very dear and precious to him. But that hadn't stopped him from nearly crushing her to death, he thought grimly. "Temari confessed that she accidentally struck the girl with a wind attack and sent her flying into the enemy's clutches. If I do not save her personally I will not be able to face Naruto or Konoha with any honor. I assured them that I'd keep her safe."

Baki clenched his fists. "One girl is not worth our kazekage. One girl is not worth the entire village's safety."

He pulled his gourds strap over his chest. "The safety of the village will not be compromised. Temari and Kankuro will rule over in my stead. If, by chance I do not return…I would like Temari to become the next Kazekage."

Baki scowled. "Gaara, I cannot let you—"Sand sifted before his eyes, making Baki flinch away, his back striking the wall.

Gaara looked at Baki stoically. "You still fear me."

Baki tried to find his voice. "I…"

"I would not harm you." The sand wrapped around Baki's wrists and ankles. "But I would restrain you."

Baki bared his teeth in frustration. "You swore as kazekage to protect the village."

"I swore to protect my friends." Gaara found the words felt awkward on his tongue. "Make sure my siblings keep up with the paperwork."

With a soft rush of sand he was gone.

* * *

She hurt. She hurt everywhere. Pain was stretched over every inch of her. She flopped back onto her stomach, pressing her hot cheek against the ground. She'd been crawling for hours now and it didn't feel as if she'd gotten any closer to the exit of the damn cave they'd dragged her into.

On the bright side, there were no shinobi to be found. She'd woken with tears in her eyes, her body on fire, but unchained, her cell door opened beckoningly. She remembered Orochimaru sinking his fangs into her neck, the pain making her mind go blank. Her fingertips had searched her neck but she had felt no scar, no curse mark.

_What did he do to me?_

With another groan, her bloodied fingertips scraped over the ground again and she pulled herself forward.  _I need to get to the surface,_ she thought blindly,  _how else will anyone find me?_

She'd give an arm for a spoonful of water. She'd give her legs for some food.

"Sakura."

She went still, lifting her head with sheer will power. "Gaara…?"

He looked down at her broken form grimly, his green eyes almost glowing in the darkness. "Where are the shinobi that captured you?"

He hadn't grown much taller, she thought dully. He was bigger than her, taller than her, but he was quite small for a man. The dark, messy spikes of red hair were still unusual and his green eyes were still rimmed in black. The love kanji was still etched into the skin on his forehead and the gourd looked like more than half of his weight.

And at that moment he was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen in her entire life.

She dropped her head back down and whimpered a small laugh of relief. "I…I don't know. He bit me and I fainted and when I woke everyone was gone but…I feel so weak."

"Who bit you?"

"Orochimaru…my neck…do I have a mark? I can't see."

He hunched over her, carefully brushing her hair aside. He shook his head. "There is no scar."

She rolled over onto her back and covered her hands with her face. "Did I imagine it?"

She felt arms slide beneath her body, and she peered at him between her fingertips. He hefted her against his chest, and he felt surprisingly sturdy against her. She let her head loll against the crook of his shoulder.

"Why don't you use your sand to carry me?"

He lifted a nonexistent brow. "Would you prefer that I use my sand?"

She dropped her hands and bit her lip—winced when she picked at the scab. "No, I just thought…I don't know." She sighed deeply. "Do you have water?"

He nodded and within moments his sand dropped a canteen of water into her lap. She fumbled with it eagerly, drinking deeply. After she nearly finished most of it, she leaned her head back onto him. "Do you have food?"

His lips quirked into a smile. "Just bread."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him, whimpering her next words. "You brought me food."

He stopped in his tracks, stiffening in her embrace. Slowly, she pulled her arms back. "I'm sorry, Gaara—um, Kazekage-sama—I was just very grateful for the water and food." She peered at his face curiously. "and, well, for being rescued."  _But mostly the water and food._ "I'm sorry for hugging you."

He nodded then continued to walk. He hadn't liked her hug, she thought wryly, making a mental note to keep her hands to herself in the future.

"How did you find me?" She studied the sharp angle of his jaw, the paleness of his skin. How did he not get a tan in this desert?

"I heard your groans."

Reluctantly, she grinned. "I was that noisy?"

His smirk widened and she was briefly, painfully reminded of Sasuke. "I know the caves around Suna and I figured they'd use one as a base. These caves carry sound well. A rolling rock sounds quite loud."

She took another sip of water. "I was more like a groaning, crawling rock with  _really_  dirty hair." She blew her bangs out of her face in irritation.

He was silent several moments as he walked, his pace slow and even. She saw a small tic in his jaw, and marveled at it, almost jumping when he spoke.

"Did they…hurt you?" His voice was soft, hesitant.

She felt herself soften. The Suna siblings were a bit rough around the edges but they were truly caring and it warmed her. "No, Kazekage-sama. They only fed me horrible food and punched and kicked me a few times." She probably had a black eye, from the feel of it and a broken foot from how hard she'd tried to break the chains. "Nothing a little chakra can't fix…if I had any." She grimaced then crossed her arms sullenly. "Forgive me, Kazekage-sama, but I might strangle Temari when I see her."

"Gaara." He corrected her and she cocked her head quizzically. He blushed as he spoke stiffly. "We are friends, are we not? If you call Temari by her name then you can do the same for me."

She grinned now and leaned her head against his shoulder. She wouldn't hug him but she'd show him her happiness nonetheless. "Thank you, Gaara-sama, for coming for me personally."

He nodded curtly. "Sleep. We'll be in Suna by nightfall."

She smiled up at him tiredly and shut her eyes. "First I want the bread."

* * *

"Kazekage-sama—!"

Gaara sent a quick glare at the shinobi, silencing him swiftly. Haruno Sakura did not stir, however, sleeping like a child in his arms.

"A medic." He stated curtly, walking swiftly. Within a few minutes Sakura had been whisked away and tended to, and he walked up to his bedroom. When he opened the door he almost scowled.

"So, did you rescue Konoha's princess? When's the wedding?" Kankuro was sprawled across  _his_ huge, four poster bed, several half made puppets lying beside him as he fiddled idly with chakra strings. He wore no makeup and his hair was damp from a recent shower.

"Get off my bed." Gaara removed the gourd from his back, dropping it beside his door in irritation. He pulled off his shirt, tossed it aside carelessly. "You're wetting my sheets."

Kankuro snorted, but slid off the bed nonetheless. He snapped his wrists, made one of his puppets walk across the room and lift up his gourd. "It serves you right." The puppet hooked the strap over itself. "I heard you asked Temari to be the next kazekage if you didn't return." Kankuro scowled as he made his puppet fall to the ground dramatically. "Why the hell would you pick Temari over me?"

Gaara walked over to the window, the dim moonlight casting over his features and illuminating his reflection in the glass. He hadn't been sleeping very well the past nights—but then he'd never really slept well at all. "Temari is much more likely to competently run the village. You are too obsessed with puppet making."

Kankuro made the puppet flop around some more. Dully, Gaara realized it was Sasori, and that with his red spiky hair and the gourd he resembled him uncannily. Which was probably why Kankuro was making the puppet flail on the ground like a pinned worm.

"I could run the village just fine—in fact, I could run it better then Temari on my worst day."

Gaara sat on the edge of his bed, exhaustion making his every bone ache. "I'm tired, Kankuro." Perhaps he'd be able to sleep well tonight.

"I could run it better with my eyes closed!" Kankuro made the puppet roll onto its side, making it strike a very seductive pose. Gaara felt his eyelid twitch.

"Kankuro."

"Temari would probably give priority to all of the female shinobi. She hated the flower arranging classes—she'd get rid of that instantly. She'd probably make the men take the flower arranging classes out of spite. It'd be heartless!"

The puppet ran its wooden fingers through its red hair sensually.

"Kankuro…"

"They'd never recover, emotionally and mentally. How would any other village respect us?"

His sand began to shift about the room against his will. "Leave, Kankuro."

Kankuro went very still. "Yeah I'll go check on Sakura and Temari before bed. Night Gaara."

He left swiftly, shutting the door silently.

He sighed deeply enough for his lungs to ache. He recalled the way Baki had slammed himself against the wall at the sight of his sand. The way Kankuro had reacted just now… _they're still terrified of me,_ he thought, lying on his back. But he had never intended to hurt either of them. He had just wanted to  _stop_ Baki. He had just intended to shove Kankuro out of his room the way he'd seen Temari use her fan against Kankuro, the way he'd seen Kankuro trap Temari within his puppets whenever she was trying to beat him senseless.

But it seemed he couldn't quite do the same.

He didn't know why he felt so bitter about this fact and he rolled over onto his stomach. It didn't seem like he'd sleep well at all.


	3. Chapter 3

"Morning, Sakura-chan!"

She cracked her unbruised eye open. "No."

Kankuro crossed his arms. "I brought breakfast." He wiggled the tray in his hands, the orange juice swishing temptingly. She couldn't really be angry at waking up to breakfast in bed, could she?

She lifted her bandaged arms stiffly. "Gimme."

He laughed, setting the tray down and helping her sit up. "They told me you were awake." He sounded half apologetic. "I wouldn't have come in if I thought you were still asleep."

"Yes you would've." She peered at the red soup suspiciously. "I woke earlier and showered and brushed my teeth…and then I went back to bed." She grinned at him unapologetically. "My chakra is still low." She enveloped her fingertips in chakra and ran them over the surface of the soup. "Thank the gods," She muttered beneath her breath. "No bodily fluids."

"What?"

"Nothing." She sipped a spoonful and almost moaned as the taste exploded in her mouth. "Where's Temari?"

Kankuro grinned boyishly. "You're not quite ready for a fight just yet, Haruno."

She stuck her tongue out at him childishly, squealing when he tried to pinch it. She caught his ear and twisted it, enjoying his yowl of pain. Releasing him, she sobered as she felt a small twinge in her neck.

"Kankuro…look at my neck. Are you sure there isn't a mark?"

Kankuro leaned over her, prodding her neck with a fingertip. "No mark." He ran his thumb over her skin sensually, his lips pressing to her ear. "Would you like one?"

She smacked him. Hard. "Would you?" She clenched her fist at him threateningly.

He rubbed the back of his head, his grin maddening. "My brother got dibs anyway."

She tightened her grip on the spoon. "What?"

"Kankuro." They both turned to see Gaara standing, arms folded, in the doorway. "Baki wishes to speak to you."

Kankuro groaned. "From the look on your face it isn't anything good." He grabbed a slice of bread from her plate and bit into it.

Sakura grinned brightly at him. "Morning, Gaara-sama!"

He nodded curtly at her and she frowned. Without thinking, she blurted the first words that came to mind. "Are you still angry that I hugged you?"

Kankuro quietly choked on his bread.

Gaara's face remained stoic—but if she squinted, she could see the faint lines of exasperation in his expression. "Baki, Kankuro.  _Now._ "

Kankuro kept coughing on his way out of the room. Once he was gone, Gaara walked over to the side of the bed. "How are you feeling?" His bottle green gaze skimmed over her critically. "Are the medics treating you competently?"

She sipped her orange juice. "Of course they are. Kankuro is treating me even better." She swallowed another spoonful of the delicious soup. "I've never had breakfast in bed before."

Gaara looked away. "My brother…acts very flippant with women." She saw sand begin to swirl about him ethereally. He didn't seem to notice it. "But his heart is very large and vulnerable. If you two pursue a romantic relationship…make sure you do not hurt him."

Sakura reached out tentatively, her fingertips running over the rough sand curiously. The sand instantly dropped and Gaara backed away from her.

"I'm sorry—forgive me, Gaara-sama, I just—your sand it looked really pretty in the sunlight. It was sparkling. I'm sorry—oh, and I don't feel that way for Kankuro. Neither does he feel that way towards me. Our relationship is strictly platonic. We're both rather playful and touchy and so when we're in the same room it may  _seem_ as if there's something more but there isn't. You and Sasuke-kun are more my type." She felt heat flush her features, realizing what she'd just said. "Not that…that wasn't the reason I hugged you or, um…touched your sand. I didn't faint in your arms on purpose."

She was mortified beyond belief. She ran several suicide jutsus through her head in the span of a few seconds. She covered her face with her hands—and cursed when she pressed on her bruised eye. "Ow, ow, ow!" It watered instantly, and she wiped at the tears miserably.  _I'm an idiot._

"Here." He handed her a tissue.

She took it gratefully. "Please forget everything I just said."

Ever so slightly, he shook his head. "You think… my sand is pretty?"

She laughed, flushing. "Is that insulting? But yes, it is pretty. Ino-pig has this special sand that's supposed to be very good for your skin and once a month we go to the hot springs and rub it on ourselves. It feels heavenly and it gets rid of any callouses. Whenever I used it you always came to mind. I've always thought that if I had your ability to control sand I'd have fresh, glowing skin every day. Ino-pig would die of envy."

Gaara gave her an utterly bewildered look.

She fiddled with her hair. "Not that one should use their chakra for such frivolous things…" She cleared her throat. "May I begin my questioning?"

Gaara shook his head instantly. "Not until you've fully recovered."

She grimaced. "Gaara-sama, I have already lost—"

"Just Gaara."

She smiled gently. "Gaara, I've already lost three days. Sasuke-kun doesn't have much time."

Gaara nodded. "I understand. But I will not answer any of your questions until you are at full health." His expression was grim and he gestured to her black eye. "I find myself distracted by your injured appearance. It reminds me that I failed to protect you."

She reached out slowly, grasping his hand in hers and squeezing gently. His eyes flickered to hers in brief incredulity.

"You found me, Gaara. You actually went to look for me yourself. You truly don't understand how much that means to me. If you hadn't found me I would have had to drag myself through that entire cave—my body was already scraped raw. You failed in nothing." She released his hand, ignoring the way her pulse fluttered when his fingertips slid across her sensitive palm. "I'm very grateful you accepted my request at all, really." She tried to move the tray aside—his sand sifted upwards, moving the tray onto the small desk beneath the window. Sakura pouted slightly. "How useful."

Gaara smirked at her. "Aa."

Her stomach gave a loud grumble and she slapped her hands over it in embarrassment. "I'm sorry—it's just—"

"Are you still hungry?"

She nodded sheepishly.

"Do you feel well enough to have breakfast with me and my siblings?" The question was slow and unsure.

"Of course!" She stretched her arms over her head, arched her back. "I'll be right down."

* * *

He had spent the night remembering the way she'd felt against his chest and in his arms. It wasn't unusual for Gaara—for someone who was rarely touched every handshake, shoulder pat and nudge was a novelty to him. He'd often wondered at the ease the others touched one another with, at times envied it, craved it. He'd had that craving as a child and he had carried it with him to adulthood. When he'd seen Haruno Sakura on the ground, perfectly positioned before him, his body had almost moved unwillingly.

He could have, as she had said, carried her easily with his sand. But he'd never carried anyone and his curiosity had overtaken him.

He didn't regret it for a moment. She'd been warm and soft, her weight pleasant against his chest. She felt frail and he marveled that he could hold something so breakable and not crush it.

Sakura gave Temari a cutting glare across the table as they argued over something he hadn't caught, then laughed, throwing her head back openly. She'd regained most of her chakra and had healed the horrible black bruise over her eye and the large split on her bottom lip. She had her hair up, her forehead protector tied around her head. She wore her custom clothing, the red lovingly drawing out the color of her cheeks, clashing starkly with the light green of her eyes. Her pink tail bounced with every movement she made, and her fingertips constantly found her locks and twined them nervously.

He looked away, pushing his plate of gizzard meat away.

When she'd embraced him he hadn't known how to react.

He'd felt himself lock up against his will, felt his heart slam against his ribs, nearly climb up his throat. He had felt so very warm.

_Am I supposed to stay still? Am I supposed to embrace her back—but how can I when I'm carrying her?_

She'd felt his rigid posture and pulled away, looking up at him apologetically and asked him to forgive her.

And he'd lost his moment to receive and give affection.

As if sensing his thoughts, Temari began to speak. "So," Temari fixed her eyes on him, a cruel tilt to her mouth. "I heard Sakura hugged you."

Sakura threw a spoon at Temari's head. "Te-ma-ri!" She scolded, a vivid blush on her cheeks. "I hug you and Kankuro!"

"Not even we hug Gaara!" Temari threw the spoon back at Sakura. "What are your intentions toward my little brother?"

Sakura turned an impressive shade of crimson. "What are your intentions with Shika-kun?" She spat back.

Temari blushed delicately. "I'm done with breakfast." She stood with a flush. "I'll visit you in the afternoon—I've students to frighten."

Sakura scowled at her as she left, propping her chin on her hand. "I'm going to crush Kankuro." She looked at Gaara curiously. "I'm sorry. I keep threatening bodily harm to your siblings. You must think me ungrateful."

He shook his head. He had half a mind to strangle Kankuro himself. By now everyone knew that Sakura had hugged him and he did not want to think of the implications this would cause.

Sakura picked at the rice ball on her plate lazily.

"Is the food not to your liking?"

She shook her head. "The food is great." She bit into the rice ball as if to assure him of her words. "But," She swallowed. "I don't like feeling idle. I feel as if I'm wasting time."

Gaara sighed. She really was a restless woman. He stood and walked over to her, almost enjoyed the way her eyes widened with surprise when he stood over her and held out his hand. She seemed comfortable enough touching him. Asking for her hand should be okay. "Come."

She popped the rest of the rice ball in her mouth and took his hand. His skin prickled at the feel of her small hand in his, but soon she hooked her arm into his, walking beside him easily. He hadn't worn his vest today and the impression of her arm against his ribs did funny things to his breathing. He looked at her briefly—but she was looking up at the pillars and painted ceiling. She truly didn't seem to find touching him odd at all. "Is this all really made of sand?"

He almost smiled. "Not all of it, no, but most of it is."

She reached out and ran her fingertips across a rough pillar. "I'm living in a huge sandcastle." She giggled. "It's like a childhood fantasy come to life."

Gaara led her down a hall, frowning. "Your childhood fantasies were of living in sandcastles?"

She nodded. "Actually, I dreamt of sleeping in a sandcastle by the shore. It was sparkly sand, like yours and I'd sleep on a bed of flowers and make wind chimes out of sea shells."

They turned down another hall. "You have strange dreams."

She scratched her head in embarrassment. "What did Sabaku no Gaara dream of when he was a child, pray tell?"

His brow furrowed. "Touch." He shrugged. "I dreamt of people not being afraid of touching me. I dreamt of being touched the way everyone else was—hugs, handshakes, even being shoved or having my hair ruffled the way father would do to Temari and Kankuro. I just wanted to know what affection felt like."

Sakura slowed beside him. "But you didn't like when I hugged you."

He felt himself flush—they'd reached the room. He opened the door and led her inside. "This is our library."

He let his sand slip from his gourd, quickly pulling back the heavy curtains across from them, lighting up the room instantly. Sakura's arm went slack against his—and he wondered for a brief moment if he'd frightened her.

"Gaara…" She stepped away from him, her eyes wider then he'd ever seen them as she spun. She glanced up at the endlessly tall room, every inch of the walls covered with shelves upon shelves of books. "This is Suna's library…?" She walked towards a shelf, her small pale hands running over the spines of the books reverently. "This isn't fair." She whispered to herself.

"What isn't?"

She shook her head. "Nothing, I—nothing. I'm just letting this sink in." She returned to his side and grabbed his hand again—made his pulse stutter. "Can I stay here?" She looked hopeful.

He smirked, ran his thumb over her pale wrist, marveled at its softness. "For as long as you like." His smirk quirked up when she squealed. "I have business to attend to but you are welcome to any of these books and scrolls. Suna has had much experience with psychosis, having had to control the Shukaku." He let his fingertips trace the light mapping of her veins. "I'll answer all of your questions tomorrow. For today you'll just have to settle for this." He released her hand and gestured to the library. "I'll have them call you when we have lunch."

She ripped her gaze away from the walls and smiled up at him. "Okay." She reached up and untied her hair, shaking it out, and he was temporarily riveted by the scent of lavender that struck him. "Can I ask for one more favor?"

He nodded.

"I'm going to need blank scrolls. A lot of them—and ink. Lots of ink."


	4. Chapter 4

"Haruno-san?" Startled, she stopped mid scribble and looked up. A light haired male shinobi stood unsurely before the door, his hands clasped before him nervously. "The kazekage-sama has requested your presence at the dinner table."

_Dinner?_ She looked behind her out the window—saw the sun setting. How the devil had she skipped lunch?

Reading her thoughts, he spoke quietly. "I tried to call you for lunch and you said you'd be down in a minute." He paused with a flush. "Hours passed but I did not wish to persist."

She stood, running her hands over her face, trying to rip her mind away from the loads of information she'd been drinking. "Forgive me, my mind was elsewhere." She grabbed her forehead protector and tied it quickly over her right arm, her temples aching too much for her to tie her hair up. She walked over to him briskly, fiddling with her loose hair nervously as he led her to the dining hall.

When she entered she saw Gaara sitting at the head of the table alone, the room dimly lit with the soft glow of oil lamps atop each of the pillars about them. The light looked like liquid gold shifting across the cream colored marble floor—and she realized it was his sand.

_He must be upset,_ she thought with a twinge of worry in her belly. She walked over to him, smiling when he lifted his green gaze. The sand moved to pull out a chair for her and she giggled to herself as she sat. "Afternoon," She murmured, watching his expression carefully.

He nodded silently towards the food before them.

_Shiratama anmitsu?_  She reached for the bowl greedily, grabbing the small container of syrup and pouring it on generously. She bit her lip as she tried to find a way to ask what was plaguing him, his sand still shifting about the room restlessly.

"Are you going to eat?"

He shook his head.

She dug into her bowl and swallowed a spoonful with relish. "Has something happened to upset you, Gaara-kun?"

He looked up at her and blinked owlishly. He gathered his composure, seemed to realize that he was using his sand again. The sand slid back into the gourd propped against the table beside him. "Forgive me. I do not feel well."

She put the bowl down instantly, all business. "Where do you feel discomfort?" She stood, her hands glowing green as she reached towards him.

He shut his eyes when her small hands ran over his chest, and she felt him shudder. "I just have a head ache."

He jerked his eyes open when she slid her leg between his—and she pushed his chair back so that she could stand completely before him. He looked up at her incredulously and she only smiled a little at his expression. She lifted her hands to his neck and jaw. "Your blood pressure is a little high." Her fingertips began to massage his temples and he made a soft sound in the back of his throat—almost a growl, not quite a groan.

"That feels…"

She grinned now. "Amazing, right? I give them to Kaka-sensei and Sasuke-kun when they over use their sharingan. They whine when I stop. Have you ever scratched a dogs ear and they started thumping their leg? It's kinda what they do but they try to hide it." She ran her fingers through his hair, enjoying the texture. His hair was surprisingly thick, and it felt good as she tugged it experimentally. She remembered the words he'd confessed to her earlier and her smile slipped away.

" _I dreamt of people not being afraid of touching me. I dreamt of being touched the way everyone else was—hugs, handshakes, even being shoved or having my hair ruffled the way father would do to Temari and Kankuro. I just wanted to know what affection felt like."_

She ruffled his hair for good measure giggling when he cracked an eye open in question. "You've never had your hair ruffled, Gaara-kun?"

He closed his eye again, smirking. "Never."

"How does it feel?"

He inhaled deeply, his voice rough. "Like I could fall asleep."

She frowned. "Have you not been sleeping well?"

"An hour or two a day at most."

She tsked disapprovingly, removing her hands and crossing her arms over her chest, giving him her best scowl. "Lack of sleep is what is making your head hurt and your blood pressure sky rocket." She sat back in her chair and grabbed her spoon again. "I thought it was only the shukaku that prevented you from sleeping?" She tapped the spoon against her bottom lip thoughtfully.

"Denying myself sleep was a lifelong habit." He slid his chair forward. "I find it difficult to relax. If I do manage to fall asleep I usually wake within an hour drenched in sweat and plagued with nightmares."

She put her spoon into the now empty bowl and slid it onto the table. "If you'd let me, I could help you." He looked up at her in question. He was attractive; she admitted to herself, had thought it plenty of times when he stood about with his stony expression and his smirks. But now, with his eyes bewildered, expressive, the line of his mouth soft and slightly parted, he was strikingly handsome.

Her pulse sped up and she looked away, discreetly clearing her throat. "I have several special teas I can make. I can give you chakra massages and as a last resort I can actually  _force_ you to sleep." She grinned to herself, remembering the time they'd been on a mission and Naruto had continuously whined that he was not sleepy  _at all_ and wanted everyone else to stay awake with him.

Kakashi had distracted him with the lure of showing him a new, dangerous ninjutsu  _only_ Sasuke had managed to learn—and she'd grabbed the back of his neck, sending her chakra into him. He'd gone limp instantly.

And woken completely oblivious to what had happened.

"I do not think it would help."

She looked at him, saw his sand begin to sift about the room and she smiled softly. It was a rather cute nervous quirk, she admitted privately. Or, it would be if she didn't know what that pretty sand could do. "Why?"

He sighed. "Several medics have given me sleep aids. They've never once worked."

She felt her chest puff out slightly, knew she was being arrogant. "I was trained by Tsunade-shishou." She drank from her cup—sputtered a bit when the bitter wine filled her mouth. "I know some teas that could knock a beast of a man out with just a teaspoon and while this is only a matter of opinion—shared by most if not all of Konoha—my chakra massages could lull a wounded bear to sleep."

He smirked at her again. "Then I accept your offer."

She nodded haughtily. "You're welcome." She grabbed an apple and bit into it. "Now eat—nothing spicy!" She demanded and with a rueful shake of his head, he obeyed.

* * *

A few more hours of reading and writing and Sakura had to stretch her legs. She walked out into the hall and after several minutes found herself wandering aimlessly. Her neck felt tight and achy, the unmarked skin where Orochimaru had bit her a bit hotter than the rest of her. She pressed her fingertips to it again, searching with her chakra for any damage or foreign bodies.

But for the millionth time she found absolutely nothing.

She'd been confused before but she wasn't any longer. He  _had_ bit her. He'd done something to her body, placed a malicious, nigh invisible jutsu upon it that would activate when it came into contact with its target.

_Sasuke-kun._

" _You'll be a good messenger."_

Could she risk seeing him again? Would it react to his chakra? Would it trigger with his sharingan? He said he'd help Sasuke and himself but how? Maybe it would cure his insanity but Orochimaru would slip into Sasuke in the process, lying dormant until he could overtake his body. Waiting like a parasite inside of her until it could latch onto its next host.

She thought of a white worm sliding around her insides and took a deep breath, ignored the way her stomach quivered.

She needed to write a letter to Konoha.

* * *

It was nightfall when Gaara found himself restlessly prowling in his bedroom. He was satisfyingly full, his head still swimming pleasurably from her scalp massage. It had made the meetings and paperwork much more bearable.

He could probably sleep now if he got into bed but the thought of Sakura touching him again, of her fussing over him the way everyone else was too frightened to do with him kept him awake.

He sat on the window seat with a heavy sigh. He touched his hair experimentally, shutting his eyes.

She was a bit demanding, he thought, outspoken and short tempered. But as he remembered her gentle questioning, the soft smiles she'd given him, the unique scent of lavender and something else that seemed to belong to only her, he knew that she was also a gentle, soft woman.

And while her softness appealed to him immensely, what fascinated him the most was the boldness of her touches, the lack of fear she showed when they touched or when she saw his sand move about them unconsciously.

Was this what friendship felt like?

Why did it feel so different from what he'd ever felt with Naruto?

"Gaara-kun?" There was a soft knock at his door. "It's me." She called softly.

_Gaara-kun._ He bit back his smile and waved his hand, opening the door with his sand. She carried a small porcelain tea cup and plate, the herbal aroma striking him as she walked towards him with a hesitant smile. "I brought the beast taming tea." She announced, holding it before him.

Smirking, he nodded and murmured a thanks as he accepted it. She sat in the small space beside him, lifting her bare feet to the seat and hugging her knees. She propped her chin atop them and watched him solemnly.

He took a tentative sip, giving her a questioning look at her nervousness.

"You were raving mad and blood thirsty. You were  _completely_ insane. You murdered for pleasure." Her small fingertips traced invisible patterns on the sides of her legs. "And now you're as expressive as a rock." She looked out the window, gazed down at his village expressionlessly. "You're soft spoken and calm. I know the blood thirst came from the shukaku but as you said, lifelong habits are hard to break."

He knew what she was asking. He rested the tiny cup on his thigh. "It took time…and an incredible amount of self-control." He felt her gaze on him but he kept his eyes on the very small, very fragile cup within his large hands. "I…made many mistakes. I lost control several times." The cup clattered, giving away his trembling, and he grimaced. "I was irrationally angry for the slightest of reasons. But I—" He swallowed. "I thought if I could restrain myself, if I could show people that I had changed and that I wouldn't hurt them they'd eventually come to see me as a friend. I thought I could persuade someone to care for me, that I could be deserving of affection. When they didn't immediately trust me I reacted violently." He forced himself to take another drink. "I thought maybe I could form bonds and not feel so…disconnected. But then I realized that with all I've done I was a fool to think anyone could ever trust me, or love me. I didn't  _deserve_ anything. Feeling alone is what made me so insane in the first place but being alone is what I deserve for killing so many innocent people."

He lifted the cup to his lips and forced himself to drink the rest of the tea with several burning gulps. He set the cup and plate down on the nightstand. She hadn't been bluffing when she'd called it the beast taming tea. He was already finding it difficult to keep his eyes open.

Her small hand gripped his tightly. He turned, finding her gaze shimmering with unshed tears. When she spoke her words were shaky. "What you did…" She shut her eyes, seemed to be trapped inside of a memory. "What you've done wasn't you."

He felt as if she'd punched him, breathless and off balance. "Sakura…why are you crying?"

She sniffled, her green eyes shimmering beautifully. "I'm sorry. I've been a bit of a cry baby lately." She reached out and wrapped her thin arms around his neck, burying her face into his shoulder. "It's just what you said—you must be in so much pain." He felt the dampness of her tears seep through his black sleep shirt and slip over his skin. "Temari and Kankuro love you, Gaara-kun. When I'm with them they talk about you all the time. They look so happy, so proud. The villagers are even more adoring of you." Her fingers bunched the fabric in his shirt. "Matsuri-chan even asked me how it felt to be in your arms. She seemed envious—she called me  _blessed_  to have been so near you." Her giggle was watery. "What you were was a child possessed by a demon. You cannot blame yourself for reacting the way you did.  _It wasn't you._ You were damned from the moment you were born but you clawed out."

She was crying for him?

Slowly, his hands lifted, tentatively touching her sides.

It touched him, more deeply then he'd ever admit, to have her cry the tears he couldn't. That she would be moved so by his pain.

She didn't move away.

He spread his fingers across her ribs, marveling at her slightness, then touched her lower back.

Still, she stayed.

Gently, unsurely, he pulled her closer.

She moved, getting on her knees and embracing him fully, his cheek pressing against hers, his arms now tight around her, holding her to him firmly.

His hands were trembling. His sand was shifting about the room wildly. He needed to step back. "Sakura…"

"Get used to it." She bit out. "I'm going to hug you whenever I get the urge. I'm going to hug you whenever you feel sad. I'll use my strength against you if I have to. I'll hug you in front of the entire village."

He smiled, letting out a dark, shaky chuckle. "If you must."

She nodded, pulled away—and he felt his hands clutch her to him reflexively. She went very still and he inhaled unsteadily. He really didn't know what he was thinking at the moment. He wasn't quite sure if the tea contained something else that muddled his judgment so fantastically and before he knew it his hand found the back of her neck.

"Gaara—?"

He tugged her head down gently, captured her soft mouth with his. He felt a lick of heat unfurl in the pit of his stomach, his pulse jumping when he heard— _felt—_ her soft gasp. Her chest was flush against his, pressed so tightly he could feel the thrumming of her heart. His fingers sifted softly through her hair and he angled his mouth over hers uncertainly.

In a flash she ripped away from him, his hands grasping air where her soft body had been. She was standing several feet away, her back pressed against the wall opposite from him. Her eyes were huge in their shock, her fingers curled over her mouth in horror.

"Gaara—I'm sorry. I love Sasuke-kun." Her voice grew shaky. "I've always loved Sasuke-kun."

He averted his gaze, clenched his fists. "Aa."

"I can't…Sasuke-kun was supposed to be my first kiss."

Gaara shut his eyes. "I was not thinking. It was a mistake. The tea has muddled my thoughts. Please, forgive me."

He saw her arms drop to her sides from the corner of his eye. "Oh— _oh!_ Of course, the tea, it has an alcohol like effect of relaxing the drinker, lowering inhibitions. It causes grogginess. Added with your insomnia of course you're going to be all out of sorts." She cleared her throat. "Goodnight, Gaara-kun. Let's…not remember this in the morning."

She left his bedroom like a terrified mouse.

He threw himself across his bed and tried to forget who he was. It seemed that, yet again, he would not sleep at all.


	5. Chapter 5

Sakura was being a coward.

She'd avoided the kazekage as much as she'd been able to. They ate together three times a day and she had never been so thankful for Temari's and Kankuro's shielding presence. Gaara hadn't really tried to speak of what had transpired between them and if anything he'd understood her craving for a bit of distance. He probably needed it himself.

But she still caught him giving her hard, almost remorseful looks from time to time.

_What the hell had she been thinking?_

She should have stopped him immediately. She shouldn't have pressed herself to him so eagerly. But his soft confession had undone her. He was a formidable shinobi, the kazekage, the former jinchuuriki of the shukaku, and yet in those moments he had seemed so incredibly small and broken. He had seemed so very lonely.

She had a weakness for wounded animals.

She had an instinctive need to heal.

But the wounds of the heart and of the mind, she knew all too well, were wounds that her hands could never reach no matter how talented she was. Her frustration at not being able to soothe those injuries on the soul, not only his but Sasuke's, made her shaky and weepy.

So she'd held him. He'd smelled of wet earth, of clean skin. His body had felt hard against her, and with a furious blush, she'd fleetingly wondered what he looked like without his shirt. His hands had touched her so furtively, so slowly, as if he'd expected to receive the rejection he'd dealt with his entire life. And when she had encouraged him he'd hugged her so tightly, shuddered so fiercely, that it broke her into a million pieces all over again.

So of course he'd kissed her—she'd drugged him, massaged him, hugged him and practically sat in his lap. What else was he supposed to think? She hadn't pulled away when his lips had first touched hers. The only reasoning she could come up with was that her momentary inability to pull away had been due mostly to shock but it had also been fascination.

She'd never been kissed before and from the way he'd fumbled neither had he. His lips had been a bit chapped, the roughness of his mouth not at all unpleasant. But then he'd angled his head and she'd felt his tongue tap ever so gently at the seam of her slightly parted lips. It was her first kiss, her mind had screamed, something she'd always dreamt of.

Each and every time she had dreamt of her first kiss, it had been with Sasuke. It was  _supposed_  to be Sasuke. But as she'd opened her eyes she hadn't seen that artful mess of raven locks, or those dark eyes that had haunted her since she'd first looked into them.

Instead she was kissing Sabaku no Gaara. And she had wanted to kiss him back.

And she had panicked.

She groaned and dropped her forehead onto the desk, grabbing her pink hair in angry fistfuls. She felt guilty. She felt as if she'd betrayed Sasuke even when they had never been anything more than friends. She felt so fantastically screwed up.

"Haruno-san?"

She leapt onto her feet, flushing in embarrassment. "Yes?"

"Two letters arrived for you." The shinobi walked over and handed her two crisp envelopes. She took them and clutched them to her chest, grateful for the distraction.

"Thank you, Juro-san."

He bowed and left the room.

She'd sent a letter to Tsunade first, reassuring her that she was in perfect health, or at least, seemingly was. Tsunade knew Orochimaru's work better than she did so she'd informed her of every detail, down to the exact location of the bite and the odd way the right side of her neck was always stove-top hot.

She grabbed a dango stick as she read Tsunade's letter, smiling ruefully.

_"Have you lost your mind? Orochimaru does absolutely nothing that does not serve his purposes. His intentions of having Sasuke have never wavered. He has not been able to get any closer to him but once he had you he had his connection._

_But you are correct to assume that whatever jutsu he placed upon you will probably react to Sasuke. Not his chakra signature but his sharingan. You can sense chakra signatures from a distance and the jutsu activating while you are miles away would cause more work and leave more of a chance for someone to stop you. His sharingan requires you to be within a few feet of him to be caught up in any genjutsus and it would be easy for whatever he placed upon you to capture Sasuke._

_Has using your chakra caused any strange reactions? Any twinges in the area of the bite? Have you had any strange symptoms?_

_I'll have Shizune sent to examine you. Stay put for now and do not leave out alone anywhere. You don't know when the symptoms can begin or how they will hinder you._

_Asking Orochimaru for help deeply disappoints me, Sakura. You not only insulted your own ability to treat him but mine. For this blow to my pride I expect you to bring several crates of Suna's sake._

Sakura snorted and rolled her eyes.

_And because I know you're worried, yes, Sasuke is well. He has not had an episode since you've gone. He has been a bit ornery in taking his medications and letting himself being examined. He asks for you to treat him when he's too groggy to remember you aren't in Konoha._

Her stomach dropped. She put the dango stick down along with the letter. She grabbed the second with only the slightest of trembles.

_Sasuke-kun?_ She broke the seal quickly. She'd written to him with little hope of them allowing him to receive any mail at all. Even if he had received her letter she hadn't truly expected him to respond. She'd settled to simply writing him like she'd write in a journal. Just her thoughts and the paper. It had been short, just stating that she was fine, in Suna, gathering very useful information and that her stay would probably be extended by another week or two. She didn't dare mention the incident with Orochimaru.

But he'd actually wrote back.

The two words scrawled sloppily on the paper made her heart flutter.

_Come home._

She inhaled deeply.

"Sakura."

She cursed, whirling with the letter clutched to her chest protectively.

Gaara stood close behind her, within arm's reach, his pale green eyes lowering to her letter clutching hands. For a moment she remembered what his hands had felt like. She remembered the sweet way he'd scrabbled as he kissed her. She remembered how dark his eyes had been the split second before he'd tugged her head towards his.

He dragged his eyes back up to hers and spoke. "They've informed me that you have not eaten today. Are you unwell?"

She simply blinked for several moments. "No. I'm perfectly fine. I've just been a bit distracted with…" She gestured to the books and scrolls on the desk. "I've had some dango."

He shook his head. "I haven't had dinner. Join me."

She hesitated only for a moment, then nodded with a tentative smile. "Okay."

* * *

"Are you eating something spicy?"

"Aa."

She sighed. "That won't help you sleep at all." There was an awkward beat of silence. "It's a bit cold for Suna, isn't it?" She cleared her throat. "Though I've never been in Suna during winter." She lifted the bowl of soup and placed it in her lap, her fingertips spanning over the warm porcelain with a shiver.

They'd been sitting silently for a few minutes now and while he'd been trying to find a way to crack the ice that had formed between them he hadn't noticed that the balcony doors were wide open. "Forgive me," His sand moved to pull the doors shut.

She didn't seem to hear him, however, her bright green eyes riveted on the sand slipping over the floor behind her. With a smirk, he lifted his fingers, slivers of sand sliding above her lap. She grinned, hesitantly sinking her fingertips into it. She let out a soft sound of approval, almost a coo, and cupped some of it between her hands childishly. He made it swirl against her skin, saw the way she wriggled and instantly released it.

She glared at him mischievously. "That tickled, Gaara-kun."

He nodded. "Aa."

She pressed her knuckles to her lips, seemed to be hesitating to speak. She kept shifting and biting her pale skin until finally she blurted out her thoughts. "Can you make sandcastles?"

He chuckled quietly. "Aa."

A very small amount of sand slithered up onto the table before her, beginning to form into a very tiny, very complex castle. "It's smaller than my hand, but the amount of detail is amazing!" She leaned forward, putting the mostly eaten bowl of soup aside. "I see the lines in every brick and the latches on every window. You're not even moving!" She crossed her arms petulantly. "I can't even draw a stupid cat."

His smirk deepening, he dissolved the castle and formed a very small, very alive sand kitten. Her stunned expression amused him to no end. The kitten leapt towards her, making her squeal in delight. "Kitty, kitty." She whispered, petting it affectionately. "Can you form people?"

He nodded.

"Make a tiny Kaka-sensei!" The kitten dissipated, its lines shifting upward, forming Kakashi's gravity defying hair. She laughed as the small Kakashi pulled a book from his pocket. She pinched his hair between her fingertips, scrunching her nose. "I've always wanted to touch his hair to check if he uses anything to get it to stick up." She sighed. "He never has any split ends." She looked at him dejectedly. "You boys have such pretty hair."

She flicked her finger at the sand Kakashi but he made it dodge with a backflip. He dissipated it again and this time he formed a tiny kyuubi. She held out her hands and he let it jump back into her arms. She smiled and scratched the fox affectionately. "I almost kinda miss Naruto." She hugged the nine tailed fox. " _Almost_."

There was something very pleasing about Sakura enjoying his sand. It made him feel oddly elated, yet oddly unsettled. He had tried to give her distance after his idiotic mistake but each day that had passed he'd felt such strange things.

_She's the only one who touches you. She's the only one who isn't afraid of your sand. She won't be here for long. She'll leave soon and so will any chance of feeling affection._

He'd had to bite back words viciously on several occasions.

_Forgive me. I don't know what I was thinking. It was because you were crying for me. It was because you looked unbearably beautiful. I want to be your friend, I just don't know how._

The fox nuzzled her cheek and she giggled softly.

When he had kissed her, however, friendship had been far from his thoughts. Perhaps he'd been so starved for affection for so long that when he'd finally received it he'd wanted more. He'd wanted it all. He'd wanted  _her._

"I'm sorry." He looked back up, but her eyes were cast downwards, her hands nervously fiddling with the sand kyuubi's tails. "For avoiding you—I hope you can forgive me. I overstepped my boundaries when you weren't yourself. You were mentally impaired by the herbs in the tea—they're stronger than I let on—and I broke a very basic rule as a medic-nin." Finally, she let her gaze be caught in his. Her broken expression left him feeling breathless. "I shouldn't have touched you so intimately."

Someone cleared their throat behind them.

Sakura's eyes went wide with horror. She groaned and dropped her head into her hands. "No."

"Looks like I interrupted a very interesting dinner." Kankuro grinned at Gaara over Sakura's head, his hands gripping the back of her chair. "When's the wedding?"

Gaara used every ounce of restraint to keep his sand from throwing his brother out of the room. He pinched the bridge of his nose and dragged in a very deep breath. "Kankuro," His words were slow and precise. "Not now."

Kankuro poked the top of Sakura's pink head. "Awww, is Sakura-chan blushing?" He winked at Gaara. "First Matsuri now Sakura, eh, little brother?"

Sakura stiffened.

"You need to teach me how you—"

His sand erupted up from Sakura's lap and wrapped around Kankuro's mouth. Kankuro struggled briefly before Gaara restrained his wrists and ankles.

_"Not. Now."_

Kankuro nodded.

Gaara released him.

"What's going on?" Temari walked over to the table and sat, completely oblivious to the heavy atmosphere.

Sakura stood, her back rigid, her expression revealing nothing. "Kankuro is just being his usual annoying self." She grabbed a small bunch of red grapes. "I need to get back to the library. Don't forget about our sparring session tomorrow morning, Temari."

"Not in a million years, Sa-ku-ra."

She left with a halfhearted wave.

* * *

"Sasuke?"

Sasuke tried to sit up. He only managed to move his hands across the sheets beneath him. "Naruto?"

"Yeah."

Sitting across from him, in the same exact place Sakura had sat whenever she'd visited him, was his blonde, orange clad friend. He was smiling—but like Sakura's it didn't reach his eyes. "What is it?"

Naruto scratched the back of his head. "How are you holding up? Not too bad in here. Are they sticking you with a bunch of needles?" Naruto's voice dropped. "Do they…make you cough?"

Sasuke scowled. "What is it, Naruto?"

Naruto's false smile slipped off. "I heard…I know what happened between you and Sakura-chan." The look Naruto gave him made him feel wretchedly guilty. "Sasuke…you didn't mean to hurt her, did you?"

He looked away. "It's none of your business, dobe."

Naruto was over him in a fury, grabbing the front of his shirt and shaking him. "Why didn't you tell me you weren't okay, Sasuke? Why did you and Sakura-chan lie to me?"

Sasuke was so drugged up all he could do was grit his teeth and keep his head turned.

"I love Sakura-chan." Sasuke felt himself go very still. "I love you too, teme." The words were stilted and awkward. "If something bad is happening I have a right to know! Why is everyone keeping secrets?"

Sasuke looked up at him now. "Secrets?"

Naruto dropped him back onto the bed with a grumble. He crossed his arms petulantly. "Maybe I shouldn't tell you. See how you feel when Sakura-chan gets hurt and you're the last to know."

Sasuke gripped the sheets tightly. "She wrote me a letter."  _Had he been dreaming?_ "She said she was in Suna. She said she was fine."  _No, I read the letter. Her flowery script, the way she had a tendency to crimple the edges of the paper when she was distracted showing with the tiny tears and wrinkles._ "She's hurt?"

Naruto peered at Sasuke. "Why is your sharingan activated?"

Sasuke shut his eyes. "Sakura, Naruto…is she hurt?"

Naruto grumbled. "She's fine now but it looks like they were attacked on their way to Suna."

"Who?"

Naruto sat back down with a flop. "Orochimaru."

His mouth felt unbearably dry.

_The little idiot. She really did look for him. She found him—and he attacked her—and she was hurt—and she did it for me._

"When is she returning?"

Naruto snorted. "I'm going to bring her back tomorrow." He huffed a soft  _dattebayo_ afterwards as if reassuring himself.

Sasuke nodded grimly. "I'll help you."

* * *

She hadn't returned to the library. She had felt so painfully awful. She'd almost wanted to jump out the nearest window.

She'd settled for sitting on the ledge of the balcony banister. She'd sat out there for quite a while, squishing grapes between her fingertips and flicking them out into the cold night sky. It was oddly soothing. Particularly if she pictured each grape with Kankuro's face.

She flicked another grape.

"Sakura."

She shivered. How could he make her name sound so intimate? She turned to look over her shoulder. Smiling at him brightly, she patted the banister. "Sit with me." She tossed a grape into her mouth.

"Sitting there is dangerous."

She rolled her eyes as she chewed. "I won't fall."

"I wouldn't let you."

He was beside her now. She caught his gaze curiously, saw the truth in his words by the hard set of his jaw.

"I'm sorry." She repeated for the billionth time. She scowled to herself, pressing a grape to her lips as she spoke, forcing the words out. "I apologized and I couldn't even do that right. I embarrassed you again—"

"I wanted to kiss you."

The air left her lungs. He was looking at her, his eyes hard, determined. She felt herself tip a little—then she was falling sideways.

He caught her lightning quick, one arm wrapped securely around her, the other holding onto the banister.

"I…could have caught myself."

He dragged her back onto the balcony and off the banister, his words a growl. "I told you it was dangerous."

She backed away from him sheepishly. "I'm sorry." She winced. She sounded like a brainless parrot.

"Stop apologizing."

"But I've—"

" _Sakura_ ," He warned, silencing her. "I wanted to kiss you.  _I_ kissed  _you._  It had nothing to do with the tea, my insomnia, and you overstepping any boundaries." He grabbed her chin and tilted her face up. "I want to kiss you still. The effect you have on me is  _there_ without any artificial influences." He released her and stepped away. "You are kind. You touch me. You aren't afraid of me. You wept for  _me._ I've never had that luxury with anyone else." His gaze dropped to her mouth. "I took your first kiss."

_Did he sound satisfied?_

Her heart was in her throat. "You didn't  _take_ any—"

"Uchiha Sasuke." His gaze sifted away. "You said he was supposed to be your first kiss."

"Yes, but—"

"Then I took it from you."

"Well, technically yes but—"

"Stop protesting."

_"Stop interrupting me!"_ She hurled the rest of the grapes over the railing. "I didn't pull away when you kissed me! Well, I mean, not  _instantly._  You had the perfect excuse, Gaara! You could have let me believe it was the tea, or the insomnia, or me being the touchy leech that I am but you go and say this and now I have to be honest and bare my thoughts because you did and if I didn't I'd never forgive myself for being a coward…" She clutched her head and shut her eyes. "Sasuke-kun was supposed to be my first kiss. I always dreamt it would be him. But he never felt that way towards me. He never wanted to kiss me. He  _still_ doesn't want to kiss me. He cares for me, worries, protects me but he doesn't  _see_ me that way—not the way I'd ever hoped he would."  _She would not cry._ "I didn't pull away because in that split second, I wanted to kiss you too." She hugged herself. "And I don't regret that you were my first kiss. From the way you kissed me I could tell I was your first kiss too."

She could be a little self-satisfied, too. Yes, she could see herself now, twenty years in the future, married to some nameless, faceless man, telling her teenage daughter about how she'd stolen the Kazekage's first kiss.

"You were shy and unsure and awkward and it made me want to kiss you even more." She refused to look at him. "Me ever kissing Sasuke-kun was just a silly dream. I've always known he'd never kiss me. A part of me always knew it would be someone else…and it was you." She shrugged. "I could have stopped you from kissing me. I could have snapped you in half before you'd blinked. So, no, you didn't take my first kiss. I gave it to you."

Her face felt unbearably hot. She pulled in several icy breaths and turned away—

But suddenly she was in his arms.

And his mouth was on hers.

His hands were clumsy as they slid up to grasp her hair and neck. She was stiff at first, her hands clenched tightly over his chest, her lips pressed together tightly. But his mouth was soft, persistent, and she felt herself quiver as she parted her lips. His tongue was hesitant, and she didn't know how to respond, and it seemed as if he didn't either.

He tasted like spices.

He bit her bottom lip gently and she heard herself moan. He pulled away and her eyes fluttered open in confusion. He was smirking.

"Was that still awkward, Sakura?"

She narrowed her eyes.  _That smug—_

He cradled her jaw, angled her head beneath his as his mouth brushed over hers. She clamped her lips shut prissily and felt his deep chuckle vibrate against her hands and chest. "Open your mouth."

She did—to tell him to release her—but then he kissed her, and kissed her fiercely, and Oh.  _Oh._

They broke apart, breathing jaggedly. She was shaking viciously, every pulse of her heart hard and painful. She buried her burning face into his chest, tried to will the trembles to stop. His long fingers tangled into her hair, his other hand rubbed her back soothingly.

She mumbled into his chest. "What are we doing?"

He pressed her to him a bit more tightly. "I don't…I don't know."

Her trembles stopped. "I'm…tired." She pulled away and he released her slowly. "I'm…going to go sleep." She paused. "Alone."

He smirked maddeningly but nodded nonetheless. "Aa."

She stepped back into her bedroom.

"Sakura…"

Chills prickled across her skin. "Yes?"

"Don't pull away from me."

She looked over her shoulder. His brow was furrowed, his hands clenched at his sides. He looked like a frustrated child and she almost smiled.

"I'll see you tomorrow at breakfast, Gaara-kun."


	6. Chapter 6

He hadn't slept well at all.

But this time, he'd been kept awake by a different kind of energy. She'd filled up each of his thoughts. Her scent had lingered on his shirt and palms. Her taste had lingered on his tongue.

She'd tasted sweet. Like the very grapes she had so temptingly pressed against her petal pink lips.

Sighing, Gaara clenched his jaw as he rubbed his temples. It may have been a more pleasant night than usual, but it was nonetheless another night without sleep. His body was beginning to feel the effect.

He hadn't had breakfast either.

He pushed the paperwork away from him, scanning the now empty meeting room with irritation. He'd been on his way to the dining room when they'd called him into an impromptu meeting.

There had been several incidents in the past two nights on the outskirts of the village involving chain wielding shinobi—the same kind of weapons that had, apparently, been used by the shinobi that had attacked Temari and Sakura.

The same shinobi that had chased his sister and caused her to break her favorite weapon in her desperation to get away from them.

The same that had brutalized Sakura.

He remembered quite vividly how Sakura had looked when he'd found her. He'd found her by hearing her groans, yes, but he had also heard her soft whimpers of pain and frustration. He'd seen the blood covering her mouth and chin, the purple swelling of her eye, the jagged, crimson wounds raked all over her tiny form.

And as she'd fallen asleep in his arms and he'd held her he'd seen the tears in her clothing that suggested they had had darker intentions. She'd tied a few folds together here and there clumsily but some had unraveled as she'd crawled.

 _"Did they…hurt you?"_ He'd remembered asking, not quite knowing how to ask outright if they had done more than strike her, feeling idiotic that he'd asked if they'd hurt her.  _She's crawling, bleeding, and beaten how is she not hurt?_

But then she'd given him a soft smile, and said with a casualness one would use if they were discussing the weather,  _"No, Kazekage-sama. They only fed me horrible food and punched and kicked me a few times."_

He'd sent the best of Suna's shinobi to investigate and had demanded they be brought back alive—and no, he didn't quite care if they came back a bit more than mangled. The council had given him wary looks.

 _"About Haruno Sakura…"_ One of the council men had begun.  _"We've been informed by the medic-nin that she was bitten by Orochimaru. Haruno confessed that she may contain something dangerous within her person. That it may have to do with Uchiha Sasuke and that her stay in Suna may be prolonged because of it. But is it wise to keep her near you, Kazekage-sama, if she may have been compromised? Perhaps we should request that she leave in order to procure the safety of you and therefore the village…"_

He rubbed his hands over his face to try to clear out his muddled thoughts. He'd dismissed their thoughts instantly. Not because of what he felt towards her, romantically, but part of the reason she  _had_ been compromised was their doing. Suna and Konoha had formed an alliance that he would not ever break. He'd promised to keep her safe. How could he throw her out of the village when they didn't know what kind of condition she was in?

Sighing, he stood. It was irresponsible and highly probable that he'd be woken but he needed to at least catch an hour of sleep. He wanted to be in top condition when they caught the elusive, chain-wielding shinobi.

* * *

"It isn't that bad."

Temari glared at Sakura sullenly, her words slurred. "My mouth feels huge."

Sakura finished washing her hands, drying them with a roll of her eyes. "You look prettier with fuller lips."

Temari tried to kick her but she blocked it with her knee, laughing. "I want a rematch." She crossed her arms. "I want you to release that seal on your forehead."

She rolled her eyes. "No. And it serves you right." She pressed her glowing fingertips to Temari's mouth gently. "You accidentally hit me with a wind attack." She watched carefully as the wound sealed, taking care to not leave any scars. "Now you hit yourself with a wind attack."

Temari grumbled. "You shattered the tree I jumped on."

"And your wind attack just smacked you with the debris." She pulled her hand away and lifted Temari's chin, examining her mouth critically. It wouldn't leave a mark. She'd been kidding when she'd said Temari looked prettier with fuller lips. She had a small mouth but it was full and very pink, and the lilt to her large eyes was cat-like. Her skin was unblemished, glowing and beautiful. "You really are pretty."

"I like Shikamaru."

She flicked her finger at Temari's forehead in annoyance. "I didn't mean it like  _that,_ Temari." She rolled her eyes and stepped away. "I'm glad you finally admitted it."

Temari blushed, looking out the window. "I meant as a friend."

Sakura snorted. "I don't understand why you're denying it. But I suppose I can understand how living in different villages can prevent a relationship from forming." She wrinkled her nose. "I wouldn't want to fall in love with a sand shinobi."

Temari crossed her arms and arched a brow. "And why not?"

She shrugged. "Distance…too much effort." She untied her hair, turned away so she wouldn't see her blush. Gaara hadn't shown up for breakfast and Temari had informed her that there had been some kind of occurrence and he'd been called into an emergency meeting.

But it hadn't prevented her from giving nervous, hopeful looks at the doorway when no one was looking.

"Sakura…is something going on between you and Gaara?"

She froze.

"Why…why would you ask that?"

"Kankuro told me—"

There was a knock on the door.

She ripped open the door, sucking in a badly needed breath. It was Matsuri.

"Hello, Sakura-chan. Is Temari-chan here?"

"Yes." Sakura let her pass through and shut the door, grabbing a towel. She fiddled with it as Matsuri spoke.

"Temari-chan, there are a few things that need the Kazekage's attention but it seems…it seems as if he's fallen asleep. I didn't want to disturb him and so I thought perhaps you could attend to them in his stead since you've done so before on more than one occasion."

"Let me just shower and I'll be right up, Matsuri-chan." Temari ruffled the girl's hair affectionately. "Don't let anyone wake Gaara up."

Matsuri blushed. "I won't! Thank you, Temari-chan!"

She left with an almost skip in her step.

"Well it looks like I'll be busy for today." Temari stretched, several cracks emanating with a satisfying crunch. "You heading back to the library?"

She nodded. Before Temari could leave Sakura felt the acid tasting words bubble from her lips. "Temari…is there…has anything ever happened…between your brother and Matsuri-chan?"

Temari's eyes went comically wide for a moment but it slowly turned into a knowing smirk. "Matsuri has a puppy like crush on Gaara, Sakura. Nothing has ever occurred between them." Temari nudged Sakura suggestively. "Matsuri has actually set her eyes on someone else and, apparently, so has my brother."

She blushed heatedly. "Go push papers!"

* * *

Sakura sat on the desk and dangled her legs over the edge, eyeing Juro thoughtfully. She didn't know much about the shinobi except that he was somewhat of a messenger for the sand siblings and that he had a very nervous disposition. He was attractive, with his pale blonde hair and chocolate brown eyes. He was rather tall, robust, his intimidating size softened with his constant blushing.

Like he was just now.

"What did you need me for, Haruno-san?"

She smiled prettily at him. "Oh, you can just call me Sakura, Juro-san." She walked her fingertips across the edge of the desk and batted her lashes at him. "I needed help and the only one I could think of was you, Juro-san."

The man was sweating a river. He tugged on his long sleeves fretfully. He reminded her of Hinata. "What can I help you with, Haruno—"

"Sakura."

He looked as if he was on the verge of passing out. "Sa—Sakura-san."

She sighed. Close enough. "Tsunade-sama has requested that when I return to Konoha I bring her some of Suna's finest sake." She let herself look dejected. "I've asked a few of the servants but none have been able to really tell me. I thought maybe you could show me where I could find some, since I don't really know many of the shops here."

Juro's Adam's apple bobbed rapidly. "I—I'm not quite sure. You see I'm not m-much of a drinker and—"

She took pity on him. "It's okay, Juro-san. Thank you. That's all I wanted to ask." She leapt off the desk and tied her hair back up, sitting back down to drown herself in the books again. She'd asked every servant she had seen where she could find a large supply of sake but they'd been very hush-hush about it, mumbled something about sake being forbidden in the Kazekage's household. She knew Kankuro would be a good option but every single time he'd seen her he'd teased her mercilessly about  _'intimately touching'_ his little brother that she'd been one hair away from crushing him.

It took her several moments to see that Juro was still standing in the same place.

"Is something wrong, Juro-san?"

He stepped forward. "I—I do know a place. It's on the outskirts of Suna, a small pub that's a bit rowdy and uncouth but they have the strongest and best sake. I—it's rather famous in our village. I—I could take you there, if you'd like." He turned an impressive shade of red. "N-not as a date Sakura-san—I would never disrespect you in that r-regard but as a friend. I-I would not like you to go there alone. N-not that I am insulting your ability to pr-protect yourself but—"

"Yes."

Juro stopped squirming. "Yes?"

She grinned. "I'd be very happy if you took me—not as a date—as a friend." She tapped her bottom lip in contemplation. "When do you have a free night?"

Juro smiled at her tentatively. "I'm going on a very light mission this afternoon but I will be back in three days."

She nodded. "Just let me know when you're back, Juro-san. That gives me plenty of time to find a dress."

He stuttered and blushed furiously as he left the room.

* * *

_He dreamt of moonlit beaches with mazes of sandcastles on their shores. He'd walk for miles on black beaches, blue ones, purple. He searched them all, looking for something that made him terribly restless._

_And then he'd stumbled into the last sandcastle._

_And she'd been there._

_And he'd finally found her._

_She was smiling in her sleep, lying curled on her side on the bed of flowers he instinctively knew she'd made. She'd woken and opened her arms to him, and he'd kissed her until he had no breath, until she was above him, their hands impatiently tugging at one another's clothing._

_But then she'd slapped her hand over the side of her neck and cried out in pain._

_"He bit me. I know he did. There's something inside me. I need to get it out—Gaara-kun, please, help me pull it out."_

_And beneath her hand blood had begun to bubble, spilling down her body and onto his chest. The small head of a white snake pushed out of her skin and she was screaming—_

He woke shaking and sweating. He sat up, throwing his legs over the bed and sucking in badly needed breaths. He touched his bare chest experimentally, still able to see her blood dripping onto him. Moonlight poured brightly though his open balcony doors, the black sky cloudless and glimmering.  _Had he slept the entire day?_

He stood unsteadily, searching for his shirt and tugging it over his head impatiently. He needed to clear his head. He needed to make sure she was okay.

He padded barefoot through the halls as silently as he could. When he reached her bedroom he knocked tentatively.

And felt his heart beat a bit faster when she did not answer. Without a second thought he turned the knob—found it unlocked. Her room was empty.

Stemming his panic, he walked straight to the only other room he could think of her possibly being in. As he turned down the hall he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw a soft glow flickering from beneath the library door. He entered quietly and instantly spotted her.

She was half-draped across the large desk, her arms crossed beneath her cheek, her lips parted in deep slumber. Her fingers still clutched the ink brush, a large black blot spread over the scroll beneath her. He smiled as he stood over her, making a note to himself to make sure she went to bed at a respectable hour. The thought of carrying her to her bedroom was tempting but touching a sleeping shinobi was something one did not do unless you were prepared to be attacked.

He'd heard what she'd made of Sasori. He'd seen what she'd done during the war.

"Sakura…"

She cracked one eye open. "I'm not hungry."

He smirked. "Sakura…I'm taking you to your bed."

"Hmm…'kay…" She sat up sleepily, holding her arms out to him childishly. He stared at her for a few moments, the sight of her drowsily asking him to carry her touching him deeply. She looked adorably disheveled, her hair unkempt with a black splash of ink painting her chin, her eyes and mouth swollen from sleep. She scowled at him grumpily when he didn't move. "Pick me up."

With a dark chuckle he obeyed, lifting her up against his chest. She pressed her face into his shirt, almost nuzzling, while her arms looped around his neck. Discreetly, he pressed his mouth to her hair, smelling that hint of lavender she always carried with her. He used his sand to open the door and shut off the lamps, felt his heart pound painfully against his ribs when she yawned against throat.

"You smell good, Gaara-kun." Her fingertips began to sift into the damp hair at the nape of his neck. "Why are you sweating?"

He walked silently for a few moments. "Bad dream."

She hummed sympathetically. "Tell me."

He inhaled deeply. "Don't remember much of it."

She scratched him softly, sending a shock of heat into his blood. "Liar."

He reached her bedroom and shut the door quietly behind them.

"It's nothing you need to concern yourself with."

She grumbled. "You need to…to get it out of your head."

He placed her on her bed, hesitating to completely release her. Her hands slid up to cradle his jaw—and then he felt her mouth on his throat. His pulse leapt up as her lips trailed up over his chin, stopped completely when she caught his mouth with hers.

She sucked on his bottom lip, nibbled, her fingers tugging on his hair gently and he heard himself make a sound low in his throat.

"Did that get the dream out of your head, Gaara-kun?" She whispered playfully, her fingertips scratching his skin lightly.

He inhaled sharply, his hands pulling her to him, his mouth latching over hers fiercely. She made a soft sound of surprise, arching up into him, her hands slipping beneath his shirt and up over his back.

He kept one hand clutched in her pink hair, his other sliding up her thigh and hip, bunching the fabric of her shirt in his fist.

She was all soft, feminine ferocity beneath him and he wanted nothing more than to take what she was offering, to own every need they had and slake it. He crawled over her, spreading his fingers over the warm skin of her stomach possessively.

And then she cried out in pain and clutched the side of her neck.

Gaara froze in horror.

She arched beneath him, squirming, her teeth gritted. "Stop." She gasped, pushing at his chest. "It hurts."

He was off of her in a flash, his hands tugging her upright. "I'll take you to the medic—"

She gave a muffled cry and stiffened—her hand glowed with chakra as she pushed it into her neck fiercely. "Don't move me." She bit out, and he held still, watched as she healed herself while his heart was in his throat, her other hand digging into his skin painfully.

And then she went limp in his arms.

"Sakura—"

"I'm fine." She shut her eyes, her pink lashes fluttering. "Everything is…fine. It happens sometimes."

Gaara grabbed her chin in rare show of fury. " _This is not fine._ I'm taking you to the medic—"

"They already know." She looked up at him tiredly, sweat glistening on her temples, her pink hair damp with it. "They didn't know what to do. I was the only one who could stop it. I don't know what sets it off." She grimaced as she saw the blood on her fingertips. "I cut you—I'm sorry. Let me heal you."

"No."

"Gaara—"

" _Sakura._ " He gritted his teeth. "This is not fine—"

"I know!" She shivered. "You don't think I know that? I know this isn't normal! I know there's something wrong with me. I know there might be something crawling inside me and I'm terrified that no one else seems to be able to figure it out and yes, I'm scared spit less!" She shut her eyes again. "I just need to keep calm and wait until Shizune-san gets here to examine me."

He looked down at her grimly, struggling with himself for several moments before he surrendered. She was frightened. She was putting on a brave front, had been this entire time, and he wanted nothing more than to heal her but since he couldn't...He could comfort her. He placed her back down on the bed gently. "Stop." He muttered when she tried to sit up. His hands were shaking but he refused to let it show. He began to remove her shoes, tugging at the straps over her pale calves. He slid them off and tossed them aside. "Rest."

"Gaara—"

"Do you mind if I stay?"

Her soft lips parted, her eyes nearly engulfing her face. "S-stay?" She parroted.

"In your room. I had a very disturbing dream and seeing what just happened to you…I don't think I can leave you alone. I don't think I can be alone." He tugged the covers over her. "I won't touch you."

Hesitantly, she smiled, pulling the covers to her chin. "Only if you let me heal you."

Grimly, he nodded, removing his shirt without another word. She pressed her bloody fingertips over the four scratch lines extending from the side of his neck to his collarbone, her delicate brows furrowing in concentration. "There." She murmured, and before she could move her hand away he caught her wrist.

"Let me clean your hand."

She shut her eyes and nodded. He grabbed a small towel, wetting it with cold water. He pressed the damp cloth over her hand, wiping away the blood in the creases of her soft pink palm, between her small fingers. She hummed her approval, sounding sleepy, smiling when he began to massage her palm.

"Thank you."

"Sleep, Sakura." She linked her fingers with his, surprising him. He put down the towel, let her tug him down beside her, marveled when her arm curled over his bare chest. She placed her hand over his racing heart, and he felt her smile of amusement against his shoulder.

"Sleep with me." She whispered, and his eyes fluttered shut as he inhaled shakily.

Slowly, he slid his arm beneath her, tugging her onto his chest protectively. He pressed his mouth to her forehead and inhaled her. "Aa."


	7. Chapter 7

She woke feeling his fingertips sifting through her hair gently. Keeping her eyes shut, she stretched against him, yawning loudly. "Morning, Gaara-kun."

His finger traced the seal on her forehead gently. "Morning, Sakura."

She cracked an eye open. "Did you sleep at all?"

His pale green eyes traced her features inscrutably. "I slept some." The corner of his mouth lifted slightly. "I slept better than I've ever slept in my life, actually."

"Hmm," She shut her eyes again and snuggled into him, putting her head on his chest. She let her hand trace over his defined abdomen, delighting in its firmness, her nails scratching his belly playfully. She felt him inhale softly. "I'm glad."

Her nail traced around his belly button—he snatched her hand.

"Sakura…"

She sat up and slipped off the bed, grinning at him impishly. "We need to get up before anyone finds out you're here." Stretching, she glanced out the window. The sun was only barely beginning to rise, the chilliness of the night still clinging about them, making chills spread across her skin.

She felt his arms slide around her, tugging her back towards his warm chest. "I have a lot of work to do…"

Nodding, she turned to face him, shoving him away from her playfully. "Then get to it,  _Kazekage-sama._ " She pushed him towards her balcony. "You need to sneak out this way."

She heard him grunt. "Ridiculous," He muttered. "I'm the  _Kazekage_. I don't need to sneak—"

"Yes, yes." She rolled her eyes. "Do your sand thing and get to your bedroom."

He narrowed his eyes at her and crossed his arms, his sand beginning to shift about him eerily.

"No, wait!"

He waited.

"Spar with me."

His look of confusion was adorable. "Spar?"

"Train…fighting…honing ones skill in a practice fight against ones comrade—"

"I know what a spar is, Sakura." He scowled at the ground. "You aren't afraid I'll hurt you?" The question was soft, insecure.

She arched her brow at him haughtily. "Who said you'd even be able to?"

He smirked at her now. "I'll find you when I'm done with today's work." His sand flew up about him. "Be ready, Sakura. I won't go easy on you."

She shivered at the dark promise.

* * *

Shikamaru was scowling as he followed behind, his hands clasped behind his head carelessly.

" _Sasuke_." Naruto whined for the billionth time, following the Uchiha down the dark cave with dragging feet, carrying an unconscious Shizune on his back. They'd been tailing her as discreetly as possible but she'd sensed them nonetheless. Ever faithful to Tsunade she'd known they were defying orders by going to Suna. She'd attacked them and Sasuke had, not so gently, knocked her out cold.

Naruto had had a near apoplectic fit, screaming about being murdered by Tsunade and then minced by Sakura afterwards. Shikamaru had just groaned his favored word of 'troublesome' and agreed with Sasuke that since Naruto had the most chakra he should carry her. He didn't understand how he'd been dragged into this in the first place. "Why are we looking in  _all_ of the caves? I want to get to Suna before it gets dark so I can see Sakura-chan…" He continued grumbling incoherently.

"Shut up, dobe." Sasuke bit out, stopping in his tracks.

Something bright was on the ground before the Uchiha's feet, flapping with the light wind drifting from the cave entrance.

Sasuke lowered onto his haunches, picking up a shred of red cloth.

"Is—is that Sakura's?" Naruto sounded horrified. "Why would…?"

"This is where they must have kept her." Shikamaru muttered, lowering his hands slowly, a bit more wary of their surroundings.

"It's covered in dried blood." Sasuke pocketed the cloth discreetly, standing up.

"Sasuke," Naruto's voice was rough and low, his usually bright expression infinitely darker. "I really want to go see if Sakura-chan's okay."

Sasuke nodded curtly, his jaw clenched with some inscrutable emotion. "Aa."

Shikamaru sighed as they started up their brutal pace. It was going to be a very long day.

* * *

_"The jinchuuriki of the shukaku showed symptoms of increased aggression and blood lust at the slightest provocation. Spirits of any kind only served to amplify the symptoms of psychosis, and, in several cases, caused the jinchuuriki to go on an uncontrolled murdering spree…"_

Sakura rubbed her temples. Well, that explained why sake was forbidden in the Kazekage's household.

She'd seen Sasuke drink before and it had had the opposite effect. He'd been more subdued, incredibly more patient with Naruto, and much more relaxed. He even sort of smiled a few times.

But she couldn't keep the Uchiha drunk all the time. Alcohol slowed the reflexes. Lowering Sasuke's fighting ability endangered the already highly targeted nin.

She had found a very interesting piece about a mentally deranged shinobi who'd become quite sane after a blow to the head that had caused amnesia. He'd been in the midst of escaping when they'd struck him down and caused a fracture in his skull. A medic had healed his head wound and when the man had woken he'd been as blank as they come. Kind and even gentle.

That didn't necessarily mean it'd work.

In fact from a medic's standpoint it was improbable, dangerous, unethical and even ridiculous.

She groaned and dropped her head into her hands.

She needed a walk. With a deep breath she rolled up the scroll and tucked it neatly amidst all the others, leaving the library room quietly. She found herself wandering towards the medic ward, almost hoping there'd be a bloody injury she could lose herself in.

Instead she found Matsuri.

"Sakura-chan!" Her pretty brown eyes were huge in surprise, and she fumbled with the white curtain, shielding the patient on the bed. "Why—what brings you here?"

"I came to see if maybe I could be of some help…" She trailed off as she examined Matsuri further. She was disheveled, her hair haphazard, her shirt falling off her bare shoulder, a smudge of purple on her cheek. She looked unbearably nervous and out of sorts. "Is something amiss, Matsuri?"

Sakura grabbed a scalpel discreetly, widening her stance.

"No! Nothing at all." Matsuri's eyes were almost beseeching. Something was wrong. "But thank you for offering—"

Sakura moved. She shoved Matsuri away, shielding her protectively. She ripped the curtain back and pounced on the bed, scalpel raised…

"Kankuro?"

He scratched his hair with a blush. "Hey, Sakura-chan." He was laying back on the hospital bed, unwounded and shirtless, the purple makeup smeared recklessly across his mouth—she looked back at the purple smear on Matsuri's face and her untucked shirt…

Oh.

She stepped off the bed, the scalpel dangling loosely between her fingers. "Oh…" She put the scalpel down on the counter. "I'm sorry I didn't…" She felt like hurling herself out the window. "I'm going to leave now."

Kankuro nodded quickly.

She was out the room in a flash, her face aflame. She groaned as she walked down the hall, raking her pink hair back in frustration. She was so caught up in the whirlwind of her thoughts that she nearly bumped into Temari.

"Hey Sakura…Why are you so red?" Temari peered at her curiously.

"Temari!" Sakura linked her arm in hers. "Where are you heading?"

"I'm looking for Kankuro…are you sure nothing's wrong?"

 _Oh, gods, she couldn't find Kankuro._ "Actually, I needed a favor, Temari-chan."

Temari groaned. "'Temari-chan', eh…you're too obvious."

"Let's go dress shopping…I promised Ino-pig I'd take her something pretty."

Temari grumbled as she let Sakura lead her away.

* * *

"Gaara-sama?"

Gaara broke away from his thoughts, looking up at Baki. "Yes?"

Baki looked flustered. "I asked if you needed anything else."

He shook his head. "Forgive me. No, there's nothing else."

Baki bowed curtly and left the room. He unclasped his hands and sighed, leaning back in his chair. He'd been quite distracted all morning, but he hadn't really needed a keen ear to understand what they'd told him.

They hadn't caught the shinobi and only a handful of men had returned much sooner than expected. They hadn't been terribly wounded but had had several of their chakra points sealed off. It was a troublesome group, he thought with irritation, half tempted to search for them himself.

"Gaara?"

He looked up to find Kankuro nervously standing across from him. He wore his casual clothing, his face devoid of makeup, his hair disheveled. He waited silently.

"Have you…talked to Sakura this morning?"

Gaara narrowed his eyes minutely. "What is it, Kankuro?"

He scratched the back of his head. "She…hasn't said anything?"

He felt his sand begin to sift against his will. " _Kankuro_."

"Okay, she might have caught me and Matsuri…in the…ah, medical ward." Kankuro was eyeing his sand apprehensively.

His sand froze. "Caught…?"

"Together." Kankuro blushed with a scowl. "We were kissing…I thought you might be upset."

His sand slunk back to his gourd. "Why would that upset me, Kankuro?" Surprise him, yes, but he supposed it shouldn't have. Matsuri and Kankuro had gone on several missions together. He'd seen them walking together often enough.

"Well, she was your student and she used to have a crush on you and I thought that maybe you might have felt something romantic for her…"

Gaara shook his head once. "Never."

His smile was all relief. "So it isn't a problem?"

"No."

Kankuro turned to leave.

"But…" Kankuro froze. "If you two are going to be…amorous, make sure it is done in the privacy of a bedroom."

Kankuro nodded and grabbed the doorknob. "Maybe you should show me how to sneak out on balconies too, little brother?"

His sand erupted and Kankuro ran with a reckless laugh.

* * *

"The pink one matches your hair and brings out the color in your skin. Wear that one."

Sakura bit her lip as they walked back home, kicking up dirt childishly, boxes and bags of dresses and trinkets she'd bought in her arms. "I thought maybe the blue one would be better. I hardly ever wear blue and I wanted to try something different…"

"The red would make you stand out. But if you want different…the purple one was killer. Plus it matches this." Temari tapped the seal on her forehead gently. "Your green eyes popped, too."

Sakura hummed her agreement, twirling her hair absent mindedly. The purple one  _had_  stood out to her. It was a shimmering dark violet color, the material a beaded lace sheath that hit mid-thigh and painted a pretty flowery pattern over her exposed stomach and shoulders. It was mostly sheer, covering her where it had to with a thicker pattern across her hips and bottom, the small built in bustier pushing up her chest generously. It was all very snug, and made her figure look much more voluptuous than it actually was.

She had gotten it for Ino, initially, but hadn't been able to stem the urge to try it on.

"I have some pretty jewelry you can wear." Temari almost looked flushed, and Sakura smiled at her, surprised that Temari seemed so excited about dressing her up. "There is a gold circlet I have that would frame your seal perfectly…" She kept babbling, her hands moving as she spoke, a smile gracing her pretty features.

Temari dwindled into silence as she noticed Sakura's small smile.

"What?"

"I didn't know you were into this stuff." She shrugged.

Temari blushed. "I'm not…I just don't dress up very often. I've never really had many female friends." Temari cleared her throat. "I was never really taught how to dress well."

Sakura grinned impishly now. "Come with me and Juro-san! You bought some pretty dresses and we can both dress up!"

Temari shook her head. "I wouldn't want to intrude…"

She rolled her eyes. "It isn't a date. Please? We'll have some fun without anyone around to chide us."

Temari hesitated but then nodded, earning a squeal and a hug from Sakura.

"Um, Sakura?"

Sakura pulled away. "Yes?"

"I think my brother is waiting for you."

She turned to look about them but saw nothing. They'd reached the front doorway and she looked up—and saw Gaara perched on the edge of the roof. With a rush of sand he appeared before them, eyeing them both with narrowed eyes.

"Where were you?"

Temari spoke first. "I showed Sakura around Suna for a bit. We did a little shopping."

Gaara eyed the heaps of bags and boxes they carried mutely.

Sakura grinned. "You ready to spar, Gaara-kun?"

He smirked. "Aa."

"Wait here. I'll be right down."

* * *

 _"Shannaro!"_ Her fist broke through his sand, aiming for his head—but he blocked it with his arms, sliding backwards in a low crouch. She grinned at him breathlessly. "What's the matter?" She arched her brow in challenge. "I thought you weren't going to take it easy on me, Gaara-kun?"

Gaara smirked at the vixen, shaking out his bruised arms. She'd surprised him—not only with her strength but her speed, her raw power exhilarating. He flicked his wrist, wrapping a coil of sand around her ankle and ripping forward, knocking her back. She flipped, a surge of chakra breaking his hold, and she landed, cat-like, on her feet.

 _She's not afraid of me at all,_ he thought with relish, spreading his stance and lifting both hands to chase her with several strands of sand. She was whirling and dodging, her movements snake-like, punching his sand away like they were made of egg shells.

They'd gone to the training grounds a bit more than an hour ago, and he'd worked up quite a sweat. He'd built them a small sand dome for privacy, and they'd cut loose within it. They'd done taijutsu at first, which he'd needed work with. She was a good teacher, if a bit of a rough one, and had hurled him across the dome quite a few times.

But he'd pinned her with his sand quite a few times also.

His sand gripped her legs, yanking them forward so that she landed on her knees with a grimace. He pulled her arms up over her head, held her still as he walked over.

As composed as he could make himself, he touched her chin, forcing her to look up at him. "Was that too rough for you, Sakura?"

She was panting heavily, sweat glistening on her skin prettily, her cheeks lovely and flushed. He could see her pulse hammering at the base of her delicate throat, the quick rise and fall of her chest. Her pale green eyes lowered to his mouth, and he felt his breath quicken. There was something very tempting about her vulnerability. Slowly, he grabbed the back of her hair and lifted her face up, lowered his—when an explosion sounded from beside them, the right side of the dome shattering.

He stood in front of her protectively—and came face to face with Uchiha Sasuke.

His eyes were swirling with the blood colored sharingan viciously.

"Sa…Sasuke-kun?" Sakura breathed behind him.

Sasuke saw the way his sand was wrapped around Sakura, her sweaty, tattered clothing then glared at Gaara savagely.

Naruto appeared behind him, looking at Gaara in relief, his smile dissipating when he saw Sakura's kneeling form. "Gaara…are you…hurting Sakura-chan?"

Before he could answer the Sharingan user flew at him with his blade drawn, Sakura's cry drowned out by the high pitched sound of Sasuke's chidori.

 


	8. Chapter 8

Sasuke hadn't truly meant to attack the Kazekage.

They'd just entered Suna's gates and were being escorted by a full fleet of Sand shinobi when they'd felt the vibrations of the earth, the surge of familiar chakra crackling into the air.

_Sakura._

Sasuke had instantly turned towards the training grounds, the sight of the large sand dome making his eyes narrow, his sharingan sharpening every detail.

"Is Sakura-chan in there?" Naruto was running besides him, his brow creased in a frown. "With Gaara…?"

They reached the thick wall of sand, and before he could puncture it the sand shinobi that had been escorting them shielded it protectively, arms outstretched. "The Kazekage has informed us that no one is to disturb him, unless it is an emergency. Please, return to the—"

Shizune threw several senbon, creating a very small crack, just enough that Sasuke could see through.

"Forgive me, but until we assure that Sakura is safe and well we will not move away from this spot. If she is in perfect health we'll gladly wait for Sakura and the Kazekage in his home."

"Shizune-sama, please, the kazekage was very specific…"

But it was all background noise as Sasuke stepped towards the crack, peering in while Naruto tried to see over his shoulder.

He saw Gaara's sand grip Sakura's legs and force her onto her knees, her wrists pulled up until she was completely immobile. She looked exhausted, her chest heaving as she looked up at Gaara, a slight grimace on her pretty features. Gaara had  _stalked_ towards her, grabbing her chin and lifting her face up, murmuring words his sharingan could read perfectly.

_"Was that too rough for you, Sakura?"_

She'd said nothing, did nothing, as Gaara had grabbed the back of her head, clutching at her soft pink hair intimately—and he'd felt his body move without another thought.

With a quick crack of his blade across the sand he'd sent the entire side of the dome crumbling, saw the way Gaara had tried to shield Sakura from his sight.

 _He hadn't meant to attack the kazekage._  He'd just wanted him to stop touching her.

He should have asked the rational questions, the questions flickering in his brain lightning fast, demanding answers: Why were the both of you locked alone within the sand dome? Hadn't she been attacked? Why wasn't she resting? Why do you have her kneeling before you and restrained? Why does she look weak and tired and beaten?

_Why did it look as if you were going to kiss her?_

But those pink lashes had fluttered at him, her wide green eyes tearing at his walls and gutting him, and he had remembered the same way she'd looked when he'd woken during the forest of death, broken and battered but fierce and  _trying_ and he had never wanted to see her so broken again.

And then she had breathed his name, her voice confused and small, and his mind had already been slipping.

"Sa…Sasuke-kun?"

Naruto had asked something but he hadn't really heard, or cared, and he felt the shock of electricity flow through him as he activated his chidori.

"Wait, Sasuke!" Naruto had tried to grab him but he was already running, leaping over Gaara, slicing his chidori laced kusanagi at the red head's impassive face. The man only narrowed his pale green eyes minutely, his sand curtaining him—and then he'd felt sand wrap around his neck, hurling him backwards. Sasuke flew through the air with a curse, cutting the rope of sand neatly, flipping so that he landed on his feet.

Before he could strike back Naruto ran between them, his arms outstretched. "Sasuke!" Naruto glared at him intensely, his blue eyes glimmering. "Gaara is our friend."

Sasuke ignored him, moved to attack again—and couldn't. He looked down, saw Shikamaru's shadow laced with his. Shikamaru made an annoyed ticking sound, looking exasperated. "They were sparring, Sasuke." He nodded towards Gaara and Sakura.

Sakura had been released from the sand and was standing in front of Gaara  _protectively_ , her green eyes fierce and panicked, her mouth twisted into a line of pain. "We were just training, Sasuke-kun."

He didn't miss the way Gaara's hand clung to her waist, ready to move her away at any moment. The man leaned forward, whispering a question to her. Sakura's hair blocked his mouth, preventing him from discerning his words. She nodded grimly.

He felt like he'd swallowed poison. He scowled at Shikamaru. "Release me."

Shikamaru struggled to hold Sasuke, his jaw taught with concentration. "Naruto…"

Naruto nodded, looking at Sasuke grimly. "Let him go, Shikamaru. I'll stop him if he tries again."

Shikamaru unlaced their shadows and Sasuke sheathed his blade, his eyes never leaving Sakura. Her movements were jerky, the corners of her eyes were tight—he couldn't see the injury but he knew she was hurting.

"Naruto," She spoke loudly enough for everyone to hear, her eyes carefully averted. "I don't know why you are all here but…I need you to keep Sasuke-kun away from me."

Sasuke felt himself stiffen.

Naruto stumbled on his way towards them, stopping dead in his tracks. "Me and Sasuke came to bring you home, Sakura-chan. Teme was worried about you, too."

She gave another pained grimace. "Orochimaru bit me and has placed a jutsu on my body that will probably activate if I look into Sasuke-kun's sharingan, or if I get too close to him." She shuddered and Gaara held her up. "The pain in my neck is flaring and I think it might be because Sasuke-kun is too close…Orochimaru still wishes to take over Sasuke-kun's body and I can't risk it. Please…" She looked at him briefly, her words soft and pleading. "Please keep away from me."

Sasuke stepped forward—froze when Gaara pulled Sakura away roughly, his gaze an icy green warning.

"Sakura!" Shizune stepped into the broken dome, made her way towards Sakura and Gaara at a dead run. "These idiots came against the Hokage's orders." She took one look at Sakura and frowned. "You're in pain. Is it only in the area of the bite? Do you feel pain anywhere else?"

Sakura grimaced. "Just my neck, Shizune-san…let's go to the medic ward." She leaned on Shizune heavily, her knees buckling, her hand pressed to the side of her neck, glowing with chakra.

"I've got you, Sakura-chan." Naruto lifted her up, faced Sasuke sternly. "We came here to take back Sakura-chan not start a war between our villages, Sasuke." He gave Shikamaru a meaningful look and turned, following Shizune as they ran towards the medic ward.

With his sharingan still activated, he looked daggers at the red head. "She was attacked on her way to Suna." He struggled to bite back the venom in his voice. "She should not be sparring."

"You shouldn't have come." Gaara dissipated the rest of the sand dome. "The next time you attack me, Uchiha Sasuke, make sure Sakura is not in danger of being caught in the crossfire." His words were spoken with black promise. "Then I'd be more than happy to return the favor." His eyes never left his as he disappeared with a rising veil of sand.

* * *

She woke hearing a curious metal clicking and a heavy sigh. "This is all so troublesome."

Cracking open her eye lids, she peered at the man sitting beside her, idly playing with a silver lighter. "Shika-kun?" Her throat felt like sand paper.

He looked at her tiredly, giving a halfhearted wave. "How are you feeling?"

She stretched experimentally, sitting up with a sigh. She eyed the ugly, papery green hospital gown Shizune had dressed her in with distaste. "I feel perfectly fine." She crimped it in frustration. "I always feel fine after the pain. As if nothing happened at all. I think the medics think I'm making it up because they can never find anything wrong with me. It's like it was just a bad dream."

Shikamaru pocketed his lighter. "Or a bad genjutsu…I'll go get Shizune."

"Thank you…" Sakura felt his words bounce within her skull with a frown.  _A bad genjutsu…?_ That could explain why she had no physical symptoms beyond her neck pain—her likely,  _perceived_ neck pain.

If it was a genjutsu it was an incredible one, one that would trigger for whatever reason Orochimaru had chosen. But why pain? Was it a source of amusement for him? Revenge against Konoha or Tsunade or both? It was too petty. She'd understand if it would perhaps seize her in a crazed blood lust to get to Sasuke but perhaps he knew that she'd never be able to unless...unless he got close to her  _willingly._

Before Shizune could ask Sakura how she felt Sakura spoke numbly. "It's a recurring genjutsu—a recurring, intricate, multifaceted genjutsu. The reason we can't find anything wrong with me is because there  _isn't_ anything wrong with me. It tricks my brain into thinking I'm in horrible agony and the reason he placed it over me was so that I could suffer and if I suffered we'd be desperate to get it to stop and to get it to stop we need a talented genjutsu user." She sucked in a breath. "Not just any talented genjutsu user…an Uchiha. He likely made it so complicated that only Sasuke-kun can undo it. But if he does Orochimaru will have his opening to slip into Sasuke-kun's head." She looked up at Shizune's blank expression. "He planned on 'curing' his insanity by possessing him completely—and I'm just the messenger."

* * *

Gaara watched them silently from across the room, his arms crossed over his chest as Shizune denied the Konoha ninja access to Sakura.

"What do you mean she doesn't want to see me?" Naruto whined indignantly, Sasuke and Shikamaru seated behind him aloofly. "She saw Shikamaru and I understand why she can't see teme but me?"

Shizune sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "She is upset and tired. She's angry at what you've all done. You left the village without permission. You directly disobeyed Lady Tsunade and rushed to Suna without any consideration for discretion—and  _you_ —" She glared pointedly at Sasuke. "You go and attack the Kazekage! Do you have any idea of how much she fought so that you wouldn't be killed? She put her entire career on thin ice—even now, she's putting her life at stake for you, and you go and do  _this?_ "

Gaara stiffened. "Her life?"

They all turned to look at him in surprise.

He gritted his teeth, kept his gaze on Shizune. "What do you mean she is putting her life at stake?"

Shizune pressed her lips together. "What she risked coming here. Being bitten by Orochimaru." She looked away.

She was lying.

Gaara looked at the guards standing on either side of the doorway. "Have their rooms prepared—on the opposite end of the tower. Give them whatever they need." He looked at Naruto. "I have work to attend to. I'll see you all tomorrow morning." At Naruto's beseeching look he softened. "I know you're worried for Sakura, Naruto. But give her just tonight. You'll have plenty of time to speak to her tomorrow."

After a moment of internal struggling Naruto's shoulders slumped. "Tomorrow, then."

* * *

Not surprisingly, Gaara found Sakura's chakra signature within the locked confines of the library. He knocked once but he heard no movement. He let his sand slip beneath the door, turning the lock and entering.

Sighing, she snapped the book she'd been reading shut and looked up at him grimly. She sat on the edge of the desk, her bare feet swinging idly. Her shoes were strewn beside the desk haphazardly, along with the pink skirt she usually wore over her shorts. From the looks of it she had been planning to stay in the library all night.

Keeping his features carefully blank, he walked towards her.

"I'm sorry—" She blurted instantly, sucking in a huge breath to continue her apology.

"Don't." He raised his hand to silence her. "I don't want to discuss what happened with him." His eyes latched onto her face, scrutinizing her intensely, making her squirm on the edge of the desk as he spoke. "What Orochimaru did to you—is it killing you?"

Her soft lips parted in surprise and he had a sudden, savage urge to kiss her. "Why would you—?"

" _Sakura_." She shut her eyes but he was ruthless. "What did you and Shizune discover?"

She kept her eyes shut as she spoke. "It's a genjutsu. One only a highly skilled genjutsu user can reverse. One only Sasuke-kun can break." Her lower lip trembled. "But if he does it's likely that Orochimaru will overtake Sasuke-kun's body like he had always planned. Until he breaks it the pain will only become more frequent and more intense until..."

Her words left him feeling icy. "Then tell him to break it."

She glared at him, her green eyes fierce and shimmering, and he was reminded of the young girl in the forest who'd recklessly thrown herself between his mutating beast form and Sasuke. "I won't risk hurting Sasuke-kun. I _won't_  risk losing him again. We couldn't bear it if he left a second time—it nearly killed us the first time."

Gaara clenched his fists. "So you'll let yourself be sacrificed? For what, Sakura? For a man who has tried to attack your village and your friends? For a man who is slipping into madness regardless?" His fingers dug into her upper arms tightly, and he knew he was bruising her, but he had never felt so helplessly awful—not since he'd been a demon possessed child. And like that demon possessed child his penchant for cruelty reared its ugly head, and he asked her a question he knew would wound her deeply. "You're going to let your life go for a man who is  _never_ going to love you? For a man who has never given a damn about you except for the pity you make him feel?"

He saw her sharp intake of breath—regretted his words even before he'd finished speaking them. He bent his head, tried to speak coherently between his tightly clenched teeth. "I didn't mean— _Sakura_."

She was pulling away from him but he held her against the edge of the desk, his hands and words ruthless and unrelenting. "Forgive—"

"What do you care, Gaara?" Her face was carefully blank, her sudden calm eerie. "Are you worried about me? It's touching, really, moving almost, but did you forget that you also attacked my village and my friends? That you also almost killed me—the only thing that prevented you from doing so was Sasuke-kun and Naruto. Did you forget the reason I came here in the first place?" Her small hands grasped his wrists, squeezing hard enough to force him to lose his grip. "I came here for Sasuke-kun. I could never really do much for him and Naruto—they saved me, protected me, time and time again. I was dead weight." Her lovely green eyes never left his, the pain in them blatant and raw. "Now Sasuke-kun is in danger again—and this time he can't save himself and neither can Naruto. They don't know what to do. It's my turn to help them. Because losing Sasuke-kun would kill Naruto. I can't lose them both. Maybe Sasuke-kun doesn't give much of a damn about me but he protected me regardless and it's time I return the favor. I need to do this for myself—to prove that I am not, have not always been,  _useless_."

"You're not—"

"It was temporary." She prodded his chest with a stiff finger. "My stay here was temporary. I was always going to go back to Konoha. What we were feeling—it was momentary. I was passing entertainment. An experiment for you to understand what touch and affection felt like until you found someone that was permanent. You and I—we we're fleeting. A shooting star. A silly little day dream of sea shells and sandcastles. It was over from the moment it began."

She side stepped and walked away from him—he latched onto her arm, fought against the jagged breaths tearing into his chest.

She struggled. "Let me—"

"Is that what you think of me, Sakura?" He couldn't quite look at her, felt the way she went still, felt her eyes on his bowed head. "Do you think my feelings can be that shallow?" Even just touching her arm now sent his pulse fluttering pathetically. "You aren't afraid of me."

She sighed. "Your siblings—"

"Are starting to lose their fear—because of you. They've seen the way you touch me with ease, the way you play with my sand and challenge me. You had to  _teach_ them to not be afraid of me. No one taught you that. Within minutes of finding you in that cave you were embracing me, leaning on me,  _sleeping in my arms._ " His words were a low shaky growl. "I'd been so untouched for so long, so  _seen_ but so lonely. With you…I've never felt so human. What you've done for me, the hope you've made me feel and understand I'll carry with me for the rest of my life—and you think that's  _temporary?_ "

He looked at her now, knew she saw him trembling. She looked so infuriatingly stunned, shocked down to her fragile bones and it enraged him beyond belief that she had been so bloody ignorant of what she'd made him feel. It was irrational, his rage, but it overflowed within his chest and skull until all he could think, see and  _feel_ was her. He needed her.

He wanted her to need him, too.

* * *

The whole situation felt incredibly surreal. Breakable and forceful and vivid but soft and hazy around the edges, her mind's thought processes becoming incredibly fuzzy. It felt like an insensible dream.

Before she could speak—or even  _think_ —his hands snatched both her wrists. He ripped her back to him, slamming her into his chest, his hands gripping her pink hair in fistfuls. She struggled away—but it was a weak rejection, halfhearted, her hands both pushing and clinging—and when he pressed his mouth to hers insistently she clenched her teeth together in surprise and anger. He didn't pull away, his tongue slipping between her lips, content to explore her teeth, patiently coaxing her to open her mouth. She shuddered as he angled her head beneath his, turning their bodies, his hips pinning hers against the edge of the desk.

His hand slid down over her chest, lifting the hem of her shirt impatiently, his large hand cupping over her bare, flat stomach. She gasped against his mouth—he mumbled his approval when her mouth opened, his tongue surging past her lips and teeth, tasting her with a thoroughness that left her shaking and gasping. She gripped his hair, sealing his mouth more tightly over hers, climbing up his body with arms and legs, wrapping her thighs around his waist.

He shuddered when he sat her on the desk roughly, scattering scrolls and papers, breathing her name when her hands gripped his ribs beneath his shirt. He released her, tugging his shirt off impatiently. Her eyes darkened as she ran greedy fingers over his hard chest and abs, marveling at every bruise and scar. He was watching her with an inscrutable expression, his hands lightly gripping her hips, keeping them flush against his. His arousal was palpable; with every brush of her hand his hips pushed against hers fervently.

She slinked up, gripping the nape of his neck and lying on her back, bringing him over her. He obliged her, crouching over her, all masculine grace, his green eyes darker then she'd ever seen them. His hands fumbled over her shirt, searching for the tab of her zipper. He slid it down slowly, with an almost relish, his eyes never leaving hers.

He pushed the halves of her shirt away and she slid it off, flushed when his fingers hooked into the top of her chest bindings impatiently. He didn't bother unraveling it—he simply pulled it down, his jaw clenching when the material didn't immediately give way. With another hard tug it slid down to her waist, his hands gripping the sides of her ribs to keep her back arched up—and she was completely bared to his gaze.

Still, his eyes hadn't left hers. There was a stark possessiveness etched in his expression, but also a searching curiousness. As if he was waiting for her to stop him and trying to understand why she wasn't.

Slowly, he straightened up, his pale green gaze roving over her bared upper body. She felt her face burn as she squirmed beneath his observation, chills prickling over her skin. She'd never had much to look at, and seeing his intense scrutiny made all of her old insecurities crawl back up. She moved to cross her arms over her chest—he grabbed her wrists. She looked up at him with a plea on her lips but he shook his head unrelentingly.

"Let me."

She shivered but nodded nonetheless. He let her hands drop to her sides, his palms sliding up her belly sensually. She shut her eyes, felt him lower himself over her, his mouth latching onto the side of her neck. She moaned and gripped his hair in fistfuls, his lips sliding over her collarbone and lower still.

His breath fanned over the tip of her breast—she cried out in surprise when he bit it gently, his lips sealing over it as he suckled.

She arched up into his mouth, her lashes fluttering as she watched him. His other hand slid over her other breast soothingly, his hips rocking against her, assuaging the ache between her legs—but it wasn't enough.

She slid her hand down his side, found his rigid erection straining against the fabric of his clothing, gripped tightly.

He jerked into her hand with a stifled groan, his hands gripping her hips desperately.

"Sakura…" He breathed, pulling away from her touch as he slid further down, his breath fanning over her belly button. She felt his fingers hook into the top of her shorts. "I need to…let me…" He tugged them down ruthlessly, and with an impatient hiss drew them down to her knees.

She shut her eyes, tried to shut her legs self-consciously. He slid the fabric off her legs completely, spreading her thighs so that he stood between them.

"Sakura…"

She barely stifled her whimper when his hand slipped between her thighs. His green depths watched her reaction keenly. His fingertips encroached deeper, making her gasp his name.

"Am I hurting you?"

"No," She dug her nails into his upper arms, beginning to forget she was naked and spread before him. "No…keep touching me." He did and soon she was writhing and moaning, on the very edge of imploding. He kept murmuring soothing words with every rough rasp of his fingertips, telling her to relax, to spread her legs a little further, to tell him what she wanted.

"Kazekage-sama?" The muffled voice from outside the library door startled them. "Haruno-san?"

She squeaked and sat up, covering her chest and searching for her clothes. He held her pinned to the desk. Gaara swore, his sand keeping the door shut as he spoke stiffly. "Not now."

A pause. "Forgive me, Kazekage-sama."

She buried her burning face into his chest and groaned. "Oh,  _gods,_ I'm naked in the library, spread out over the desk and all I could think of was—how could I—Naruto and Sasuke-kun are here they could have—"

He tilted her head back, his green gaze narrowed. "Lie back down. I wasn't done."

"Gaara—"

" _Sakura."_

She shivered helplessly. "This is…going too far." She licked her lips. She was still trembling fitfully, the urge to have him touch her  _painful._ She grabbed her chest bindings and rewrapped them about her haphazardly. "My first time was going to be on a  _desk_?" She pulled on her shirt, zipping it all the way up in a pathetic attempt to rid herself of feeling so exposed. "With a man I'm probably not going to see much of for the rest of my life." She hopped off and pulled her shorts on. "I'm such an  _idiot_."

She felt him watch her as she tried to organize the mess of papers scattered across the floor. Stiffly, he pulled his shirt over his head. He held out his hand to her. "Let me escort you to your room."

She felt the blood drain from her face.

He gave the tiniest of scowls. "I won't press you for something you aren't ready for." She let him help her to her feet. "But I  _wasn't_ done with you. This isn't done."

His fingers entwined with hers as he pulled her out of the room. By the time they reached her bedroom her thrashing pulse had calmed. She reached for the door knob and paused when his hand touched her cheek gently.

She looked up at him in question.

"Let me court you."

She rocked back on her heels. "What?"

He smirked down at her, enjoying her stunned expression. "You aren't temporary for me, Sakura. Whatever is happening between us—I want it to last."

"My home is in Konoha."  _I'm in love with Sasuke-kun…aren't I?_

"Aa." Gaara nodded curtly. "We'll deal with that when the time comes."

She shook her head. "Good night."

He encircled her in his arms before she could enter her bedroom, kissing her into senselessness. "Sleep well, Sakura." He breathed, his green eyes haunting—and then he disappeared.

She shut the door behind her and slumped onto the ground in a daze.

How the hell was she going to face Naruto and Sasuke tomorrow morning without the guilt eating her up? How would she ever be able to look at Gaara ever again? And, more importantly, how was she going to be able to bear being in the same room with all three of them without bursting into flames?

She remained wide eyed and terrified for hours.


	9. Chapter 9

"Juro-san?" Sakura shut off the water and dried her hands, slipping her gloves on quickly. "Where are you injured?"

His blush bloomed across his high cheekbones, and he shook his head, looking very sexily disheveled on the hospital bed. It helped that he was shirtless, his massive, impressively muscled chest displayed before her openly.

He stammered as he spoke. "Not injured, Haruno—Sakura-san." He pointed to his left shoulder. "The shinobi sealed my chakra and I haven't been able to use it in my left arm. I could w-wait it out but I didn't want to escort you to the pub with only the u-use of one arm."

Sakura nodded, chewing her lip as she pressed glowing fingertips to his shoulder, trailing down his arm in search. She'd sparred with Hinata and Neji a few times and she'd become quite adept at reopening her chakra points. It was a breeze to do it now. She was rather glad she'd decided to help the medics this morning. She hadn't been able to concentrate on the scrolls at all. "Are we going tonight, Juro-san?"

He was looking away nervously, his blonde lashes fluttering when her hands squeezed his wrist. "I-if you are not busy."

"I'm not." She moved to his palm. "But I invited someone else to come with us, if you don't mind, that is."

He looked at her in a bit of a panic now.

She smiled at him reassuringly. "I invited Temari."

His blush faded and he looked alarmingly pale. "You…Temari-sama will be joining us?"

"Yes. She helped me find a pretty dress, you see, and bought a few of them herself. She confessed that she doesn't have many female friends and from what I know her mother died when she was very young. I don't think she'd had many opportunities to be just a woman and not a shinobi—and well, to have fun in general. So, if it isn't a problem, Juro-san, would you be willing to have two women on your arms tonight?"

He wasn't breathing. "I'd be honored."

"You're all done." She pushed her hand into his ribs so that he sucked in a choking breath, removing her gloves with a snap and a grin. "We'll be ready before nightfall." He stumbled off the bed as Temari entered the room.

Temari waved at him easily. "Hey Juro"

He blushed and bowed before scurrying down the hall, zipping up his vest with large, clumsy hands. She shrugged and threw herself on the bed, looking at Sakura suggestively. "He's a hunk without his shirt, isn't he?"

Sakura laughed, throwing her hand towel at her playfully. "Looks like he's carved out of marble." She got on the bed beside Temari, lying next to her as they both stared at the ceiling in comfortable silence. "Do you like Juro-san?"

She shook her head instantly. "No. He's a good friend who've I've been on many missions with. I've never had  _that_ kind of interest in him, not like…"

Sakura smiled. "Not like with Shika-kun?"

Temari nodded grimly. "He'd escort me all over Konoha. I'd sometimes try to get him to take me to dinner and he would but he'd sigh and grumble about it the whole time." She shrugged. "I'm usually not so sensitive but…I don't like feeling  _troublesome,_  at least, not in that sense."

Sakura played with one of Temari's bushy ponytails idly. "Temari, Shika-kun is lazy. But I've never seen him act the way he does with you. Sometimes when we'd be on missions together, he'd randomly mention you with no prodding on my part." She tugged at the hair band, searched for the others. "Shika-kun doesn't do that." She removed another hair band. "So how about tonight, we dress you up as pretty as we can, make you look mouth-watering and then have you walk by Shika-kun so his little eyes will pop out of his head."

Temari laughed, a little nervously. As she removed the last hair band her hair fell about her face softly. "I don't think he'd even notice."

Sakura flicked her forehead again, eyeing her loose hair thoughtfully. "We'll see about that."

* * *

Sakura grumbled as she ate, glaring at Naruto sullenly.

He whined, his large blue eyes beseeching her forgiveness. "I said I'm  _sorry_ Sakura-chan!" He crossed his arms. "You aren't mad with Shikamaru or Sasuke."

She pointed her chopsticks at him threateningly. "This was all of  _your_  idea, Naruto!" She pushed away her bowl, her appetite gone. "You  _broke_ Sasuke-kun out knowing the kind of condition he was in! He isn't thinking properly right now. Shikamaru came to act as a medium because he knew between you and Sasuke-kun everything would blow to one extreme or another. But worst of all you  _attacked Shizune_ —"

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto looked guilty. "We tried to calm her down but she wasn't listening—"

" _You're_ one to say  _that_ —"

"I tried to hold her down but then Sasuke had to go and whack her and he wanted to leave her there but of course, we wouldn't and—"

She dropped her head into her hands and sighed. "She's going to kill me."

Naruto paused. "Tsunade no ba-chan knows this isn't your fault, Sakura-chan."

"Naruto," They both turned at the deep call, and Sakura felt herself stiffen as she her gaze fell on Sasuke. "I need to speak with Sakura." His dark eyes were on Naruto, his expression unreadable.

She looked at Naruto in a panic.

Naruto stood slowly."You heard Sakura-chan, Sasuke. We don't know what could happen if you get too close."

"Then I'll keep a space between us."

"Sasuke—"

"Naruto," Sasuke's voice roughened. "I need to speak with Sakura."

Naruto sighed. "Sakura, I'll be right outside the door."

She shut her eyes and nodded, curling her legs up to hug her knees. "Okay."

After several airless moments, she felt him step closer. She pressed her forehead to the top of her knees, trying to slow her breathing. Would her neck pain flare again?

"Sakura."

She shivered. "You shouldn't be here, Sasuke-kun. I told you I could handle—"

"Look at me, Sakura."

She curled her body more tightly. "Please, Sasuke-kun…"

"Come home."

 _I can't. Not yet._ "I haven't figured—"

"Sakura," His voice sounded strained. "Come home. Please."

She looked up helplessly.  _Please? Had Sasuke just pleaded?_ He was looking down at her harshly, his lips in a tight, grim line, his beautiful dark eyes tense. Realizing her mistake she shut her eyes again. "Sasuke-kun, please go back to Konoha. Being near you is risky enough as it is."

"Sakura…" She felt him touch her hair gently and her heart stopped. "Come home. I realize that I've made many mistakes but…if you agree to come back to Konoha now, I will try to mend my ways." His hand cupped her chin and tugged her face up as he stood over her. He struggled to say his next words. "I could try to…be with you."

Her heart was thudding painfully. How many years had she wished for him to touch her this way? How much of her life had she hoped he'd say these words?  _I could try to be with you._

She held her breath as he continued.

"If you agree to come home with us tonight, I'll keep my word. I'll form a relationship with you. You've done so much for my sake and it is only right—"

_"You're going to let your life go for a man who is_ _never_ _going to love you? For a man who has never given a damn about you except for the pity you make him feel?"_

She touched the back of his hand and pressed it to her cheek briefly, pain flaring hotly within her chest and throat. "Sasuke-kun…thank you, for offering that." She tugged his hand away from her, let numbness take over and ice her voice. "But I'm afraid I'm going to have to refuse." It took her a moment to release his hand. "Please go back to Konoha and wait until I discover a way to cure you. The fact that you came here not only shows your lack of faith in me but displays it to everyone else. I can handle this on my own, Sasuke-kun. Your offer may come from a good place but it is unbearably cruel." Her nails dug into the skin of her legs. "What I have felt and done for you was never a payment. I never  _expected_ anything in return. I may have wanted it, it may have kept me going…the way you offered it to me just now, as some cheap temptation to get me to come home…" She'd never wanted to hit him so much in her life.

"You gave me that same offer." He was retreating back into his cold shell, but his words were bitter. "You asked me to stay. You told me you'd be with me, make me happy."

She pressed her lids together to stem her tears. "I  _loved_ you, Sasuke-kun!" Her breath was shaky. "What I was offering you was the  _love_ I felt for you. What you're offering is to stem your disgust towards me long enough to get me back home because you think I'm in over my head!" The tears seeped past her lashes anyway and she groaned in misery as she shuddered, her hands covering her face in shame. "Please, leave me alone, Sasuke-kun. Please go back to Konoha."

"Sakura—"

She stood, ignored his outstretched arm as she walked towards the door blindly. In a flash he was in front of her, blocking her exit.

His dark eyes were narrowed dangerously. "You can come willingly or unwillingly."

She stiffened. "You'd take me back by force?"

He nodded. "Aa."

She clenched her fists and widened her stance, viciously satisfied when his eyes widened in surprise at her aggressive posture. "You can try."

"Uchiha." They both stiffened in surprise. Gaara had somehow materialized in the room, his arms crossed, eyes lethally focused on Sasuke. "While Sakura is here she is under my protection. If she does not wish to leave then she will stay."

"It's okay, Gaara—"

"Letting her be captured by Orochimaru and brutalized by his men is protecting her? Where are the shinobi that did this? Why haven't they been captured yet?" Sasuke cut her off, his sharingan bleeding through the black. "Or perhaps it was because the Kazekage was too busy frolicking in a sandcastle with a kunoichi from another village?"

Gaara's eyes narrowed, his sand beginning to whirl about them recklessly. "I suppose stabbing her is better than frolicking, is it?"

Sasuke moved—Sakura pinned him against a pillar with her inhuman strength. He struggled—but she pushed her fist into his stomach, forcing him to lose control over his limbs momentarily. Glaring at Gaara viciously, Sakura held out her other hand to ward him off. "Don't!"

He didn't look at her, only smirked at Sasuke tauntingly. "You haven't grown at all, Uchiha."

His sharingan swirled vividly, and Sakura cursed, knowing this fight was going to break out whether she tried to stop it or not. Against an Uchiha and the Kazekage, did anyone really stand a chance?

Well, one person did. She sucked in a deep breath.  _"Naruto!"_

Her scream surprised them both enough to make them hesitate. Naruto stumbled in, looking panicked and worried. He paused when he saw Gaara's sand everywhere, and Sasuke being pinned against the pillar. "What's going on?"

Sakura gritted her teeth. "Take Sasuke out of the room."

Sasuke gripped her wrists and spoke through his teeth. "Release me."

She shook her head fiercely. "Naruto."

He was over in a flash and she stepped away. Sasuke left with a scowl, Naruto grumbling as he followed him out the room.

She focused on the ground with her fists clenched.

"Sakura—"

"Don't you  _ever_ try to pick a fight with Sasuke-kun again." Her nails bit into her palm.

"He was threatening you."

She looked at him furiously. "I could have handled it. Do you think I would have let him? But taunting him like that, reminding him of what he did to me so cruelly—he isn't sound, Gaara!" She tapped her temple as she advanced on him, her green eyes blazing. "He's not well here. What you told him was downright cruel. Would you like it if everyone reminded you of all the people you hurt when you weren't yourself?"

He scowled and crossed his arms. "So I was supposed to let him threaten you?"

She pressed her fingertips over her eyelids. "You were supposed to let me handle it." She felt a searing head ache coming on, both from lack of food and sleep and the over load of testosterone she was dealing with. "All of you are treating me like a helpless child."

"I was not trying to make you feel that way."

She walked away. "Temari and I are going out tonight. Don't expect us for dinner."

"Sakura."

"And I'm leaving for Konoha tomorrow. I've over extended my stay for far too long."

She slammed the door behind her.

* * *

"Oh… _Oh_." Sakura blinked in amazement as Temari stood before her. "Oh, gods, Temari you look incredible."

Temari blushed but gave her a grin nonetheless. "Ya think?"

Sakura nodded, eyeing her work appreciatively. She'd left Temari's hair loose, softly curled it about her shoulders. She wore an eclectic array of silver jewelry, her silvery aquamarine dress clinging to her waist and chest lovingly. The skirt was loose and flowy, skimming her slim thighs alluringly. And on her feet…

"Where did you get those shoes?" Sakura squealed, sitting on the edge of her bed and holding out her hands. "Gimme."

Temari laughed and put her silver heeled foot in Sakura's lap. "I had a mission once to infiltrate the household of a daimyo. His wife had so many beautiful shoes I couldn't help but take a few." She shook her hair back. "And these earrings."

Sakura gave her a playfully chiding look. "Thief."

Temari pulled her foot back. "They deserved that and worse." She eyed Sakura. "That purple dress makes you look unbelievable." She tapped the seal on her forehead. "and, as I said, it matches your seal perfectly."

Sakura pulled on her gold heels, looking in the mirror to adjust the matching gold circlet on her head. "Is that where you got this, too? From the daimyo?"

Temari nodded. "I told you it would frame your seal perfectly."

Sakura hummed in agreement. "It does." She touched the back of her pinned up hair self-consciously. "Is it neat in the back? Ino usually does my hair for me."

Temari nodded. "It is. Are you taking any weapons?"

Sakura lifted her skirt to reveal a tiny scroll tied to each of her thighs. "I can summon weapons from this one—thank you, Tenten—and this is what I'm going to use to teleport the sake." She dropped her skirt back down. "I'm holding up my hair with senbons."

Temari laughed. "You're well prepared, Haruno." She lifted her dress to reveal her own scrolls. "As am I."

Sakura whistled. "Those legs, Temari-chan! Are you ready?"

"Yes. Let's go downstairs."

They went arm in arm, giggling as they tried to make it down soundlessly. When they reached the dining room, however, they stopped dead in their tracks.

"Oh, no." Temari groaned under her breath.

Gaara, Naruto, Sasuke, Shikamaru  _and_ Kankuro had Juro seated at the end of the table, surrounding him with deadly auras. Except for Shikamaru and Naruto of course. They were simply giving him irritated looks. Juro didn't look as if he was breathing very well.

They all looked at them, and Sakura felt herself blush as they scanned their clothes with obvious disapproval. Temari gripped Sakura's arm a little tighter.

Sakura cleared her throat and held her head high. "Hello," She tried for brightness as she pulled Temari forward. "You're keeping Juro-san company, I see."

To her complete surprise, Shikamaru spoke up first. "Temari…" He grumbled, scratching the back of his head with a light scowl. "Why are you doing this?"

She felt Temari shiver. "Just accompanying Sakura to the pub. Juro-san is a fellow shinobi who has gone with me on many missions. They invited me since I am a mutual friend." She held out her hand and Juro took it gratefully. They placed him in between them protectively, each of them holding his arms. It struck her as funny that they were protecting such a large, muscular shinobi. He dwarfed them completely, their heads barely reaching his shoulder. But…they were both probably better fighters.

"Then you won't mind if we tag along?" Naruto stood.

Sakura gave him a warning look. " _No._ You will stay here to make sure Sasuke-kun and Gaara-kun don't kill each other."

"Then I'll go." Shikamaru offered with a blush on his cheeks, his gaze averted uncomfortably.

"You need to help Naruto. He can't handle them both alone." Sakura reasoned with a smile tugging her lips. "Sasuke-kun can't go either because his mental condition is unstable." The words felt like acid in her mouth but she shrugged nonetheless. "We won't be gone long."

"I can go." Kankuro stepped forward but Temari gave him a deadly glare. "I'm not sure Matsuri-chan would be happy to know you're going out to pubs in the middle of the night."

Kankuro went very pale.

They shuffled towards the doors, trying to keep Juro from stumbling.

"Juro." Gaara's dark voice had them all frozen.

Juro's voice was very small. "Yes, Kazekage-sama?"

"I expect them both back early, unscathed, and if they are drunk there is no rock you will be able to hide under."

"Yes, Kazekage-sama!"

"Hey, now, wait one minute—!"

"Let's go, Sakura-san." Juro pulled her through the doors, effectively cutting off her threat.

She growled in frustration as Juro's beefy arm almost lifted her bodily. "I'll drink if I want to!" She shouted childishly. "You aren't my mother!"

Temari giggled as Juro pulled them both out of the room.

* * *

Shikamaru grimaced at the cigarette in his hand. He'd never spoken much to Gaara, finding the man a bit too intense for his liking, but he supposed that if he ever wanted a future with Temari he had better start.

He'd been left alone with him as Kankuro and Naruto had sat at the table with scowls, Sasuke looking as emotionless as usual. Gaara had stepped out onto the balcony to watch them leave—and, watching Temari leave with another man, had made Shikamaru have a very bad urge to smoke

He looked out over the balcony, seeing them walk down the street on the arms of the muscled shinobi. They had looked incredible—Temari had shocked him down to his bones. He'd seen Sakura dress like that many times, along with Ino—but Temari?

The dress had brought out a figure he had severely underestimated, the color of it making her eyes striking and hypnotic. Her legs had looked miles long and tempting, her blush a rarity that never seized to tug him under with its lure.

He sighed and blew out another bitter cloud of smoke. "Is she…close to Juro?"

Gaara nodded curtly. "They've known each other since childhood."

 _Of course._ He inhaled sharply, letting it burn his lungs pleasantly. "Should I be worried?"

Gaara looked at him now, his face stony, a deep irritation set in the lines crinkling his eyes. "About Juro? No. Temari has never been interested in him."

He threw the cigarette—Gaara's sand caught it inches from his face, crushing it to ashes that fell at his feet.

"About me, however," The sand dissipated without Gaara moving a muscle. "You should be worried."

Gaara vanished in that puff of sand and Shikamaru sighed.

_Troublesome._

* * *

"Don't you think that's enough?" Temari asked incredulously.

Sakura tapped her chin. "Yeah. Maybe." She pulled out her scroll and placed it on the ground, moving the five crates of sake onto it. She hunkered down, careful not to flash anyone, performing the hand seals quickly. They were out in the alleyway behind the pub, a few straggling drunk men here and there. It wasn't the fanciest of places—but it was cozy and rustic, loud and chaotic. It had a rough charm to it.

The crates of sake disappeared with a small puff of white and she straightened. They should be in her room, perfectly safe.

"Sakura…" Temari leaned against the wall casually. "Down the alley to our left."

She stretched, feigning disinterest as she scooted beside her. "They have chains." She looked at her nails nonchalantly. "Where's Juro-san?"

"Bathroom." Temari grinned.

Temari had challenged poor Juro to a drinking contest—and Juro had failed miserably. The very suspicious looking shinobi were eyeing them a bit lustfully, but perhaps they could have recognized them and were attempting to appear as normal drunken men.

Sakura gave a small smile and waved. They walked a bit closer. She lifted her skirt slowly, sensually, and she saw their eyes riveted to her exposed thighs. "I'll put them in the air and you can do your thing."

Temari nodded.

She lifted her hands into her hair as she simpered towards them, tugging out the senbon holding her hair up. They whistled sharply as they left her hand, and though they were drunk, they were still shinobi. As expected they leapt up into the air—and with a laugh Temari swept her fan gracefully, striking them several times before she allowed them to hit the ground again. Sakura leapt over them, slamming her fists into their stomachs then cracking their heads together.

They were out instantly.

Juro had showed up a bit late, looking panicked and somewhat green. "Are you hurt? Did they injure you anywhere?" He asked them frantically, his handsome face tortured.

"We're fine, Juro." Temari snapped her large fan shut. "Looks like we have some interrogating to do."

Sakura finished snapping their chakra sealing chains about them, hog tying them with cruel satisfaction. "I remember this one." She lifted him by his white hair, glaring at him accusingly. "You're the one that kept grabbing my ass."

Temari snorted. "Looks like our night is cut short."

Lifting them both onto her shoulders, she gave Temari a grim look. "I only had two drinks."

Juro was still looked a bit woozy as he stepped forward. "I'll carry them."

"No, it's fine Juro-san—"

"Please."

He gave her a puppy dog look. She handed them over with an exasperated roll of her eyes. They walked slowly, almost a bit sullenly. It was a pretty night, the moon large and bright, the air icy.

Temari kicked up dirt with her heel. "How are you so monstrously strong?"

Sakura laughed. "Amazing chakra control and a monstrously strong teacher."

Temari leapt onto Sakura's back and she hunched forward obligingly, carrying her easily, her body providing warmth from the nights chill. They walked in silence for a few moments. "I don't think Shikamaru even cared about my dress."

"He did." She sighed. "But they were too busy restraining themselves from killing Juro-san to even notice how pretty we looked."

Temari grumbled.

"You both look incredibly beautiful." Juro suddenly blurted, the alcohol seeming to give him a bit more courage. "Especially when you were fighting…in your dresses…"

Sakura laughed. "You look very handsome too, Juro-san."

"Very." Temari agreed and they giggled when he almost stumbled.

The Suna anbu disappeared almost as quickly as they had showed up. They'd ripped the men out of Juro's arms, bowed curtly and vanished in a puff of smoke. Temari had shuffled back to her room a little sleepily, as had Juro, and Sakura followed suit.

Trying to make as little noise as she could with her heels, Sakura passed the library when she felt arms wrap around her.

She squeaked as Gaara tugged her back into his chest, his mouth pressing over her cold ear. "You look beautiful."

Her body softened slightly against him, chills prickling over her skin. She tried to hold onto her anger as best she could. "Please release me."

He obeyed. She faced him, tugging her dress skirt down self-consciously. The dress was a bit skimpier then she was used to wearing but standing in front of Gaara…she felt much more exposed.

His eyes lingered over her legs, wandered all the way up to the gold circlet on her pink hair. "How was your night?"

She crossed her arms. "Productive."

"Productive?"

"The sake." She shrugged with a nonchalance she didn't feel. "Tsunade-sama will be pleased, I'm sure."

Gaara looked adorably disgruntled. "I could have just had it brought with a letter."

Sakura nodded. "It was a chance for me to take a breath."

"From me? Or the Uchiha?"

She growled in exasperation and began to walk down the hall, her heels sharply clicking with every angry step. He followed beside her easily.

"From both of you. From myself. From this entire, impossible situation."

She felt his hand touch her shoulder, stopping her quick walking. "I heard what he offered you, Sakura." She looked up at him in surprise. His forehead was furrowed, his eyes a bit darker than usual. "He offered to be with you."

She swallowed. "Yes."

He pulled her a little closer towards him. "Are you going to accept? Is that the reason you are leaving?"

His voice was rougher than usual, his hands gripping her tightly, almost reflexively. The insecurity in his eyes made her heart ache. She didn't know what to say because either answer implied things she wasn't ready to think of. Had she not been moments away of giving herself to him completely last night? Wasn't she just afraid that if he pushed any harder, she'd fall in love with him, too?

He lowered his head slowly, giving her every chance to pull away. She tipped her face up in answer, his hands pulling her into his body as he kissed her fiercely. He backed her against the wall and she wrapped her thighs around him as he lifted her. Her hands gripped his hair tightly, a moan breaking from her throat as he hiked her dress up.

He ripped his mouth from hers. "Stay with me tonight."

She shut her eyes when his mouth pressed to her neck. "Tonight?"

"Let me have you." His hand slid into the neckline of her dress and cupped her breast possessively, making her gasp when his thumb circled her nipple sensually. "Stay in my bed tonight."

She let her head fall back. "Someone can walk by and see us."

His mouth lowered to her chest. "Aa." He took her breast into his mouth, his tongue rasping over. She gave a muffled cry and after several moments wasn't sure if she was tugging his hair to pull him away or keep him there.

"Gaara…" His other hand slid up between her thighs, cupping her intimately. She arched, trembled when his fingers grazed her teasingly. "Gaara someone can walk by any minute…"

Slowly, he slid his fingers beneath her panties. Still, he didn't give her the touch she craved most. "Do you want me to touch you?"

She cracked her eyes open in confusion. "What?"

"Do you want me to touch you?" His eyes were ruthless, his breath fanning over her exposed breast. "Answer me."

"Yes."  _Gods, yes._ She pushed him away from her. "But...not here."

He let her slide to her feet, his hand still toying with the tip of her breast as his other hand came to rest on her hip. "Will you come to my bed?" He pinched her softly, watching her soft gasp with enigmatic green eyes.

She was leaving tomorrow. She wouldn't see him for a long time—possibly ever. She didn't know what she was feeling for him but it was something she thought she'd only feel for Sasuke—and she wanted tonight with him, even if it would be their only one.

"Yes." She pressed her face into his chest, surrendering. "Yes, I'll stay with you tonight."

 


	10. Chapter 10

"I had a nice night, Juro. Thank you for dancing with me." Temari smiled at him softly, seeing the way he sort of wobbled as he stood.

He bowed—almost fell over except she caught him. "I'm sorry, Temari-sama, I don't feel so good."

She laughed, rubbed his back soothingly. "Go to bed and drink plenty of water. I'll tell my brother I gave you the day off today so sleep in."

He nodded. "Thank you, Temari-sama."

"Just Temari, Juro."

He nodded. "Good night, Temari-san."

She rolled her eyes as she entered her bed room. "Good night, Juro." She flopped onto her bed with a yawn, stretching. She was eyeing her shoes tiredly when she heard a soft tap on her window.

She sat up—felt her pulse flutter when she saw Shikamaru hunched there. Scrambling up, she unlocked the latch and let him in.

"What are you doing here, Shikamaru?"

He stuffed his hands in his pockets and leaned against the wall, shrugging. "Just wanted to ask how your night went."

She smiled a little as she sat back on her bed. "It went well. We danced, drank, and got into our first bar fight."

Shikamaru finally looked at her. "Bar fight?"

She nodded as she fumbled with the clasp around her ankle. "Two of the chain wielding shinobi that attacked us were there, so Sakura and I took them out." She laughed a little giddily, the alcohol fuddling her judgment. "Juro said we looked incredibly beautiful fighting in our dresses."

"Tch," Shikamaru kneeled before her, brushing her hands away from her ankle. He undid the clasp easily, slipping her shoe off, his thumbs brushing over her ankle and the arch of her foot.

She shivered, her hands smoothing the skirt of her dress nervously. "Did you think I looked pretty, Shikamaru?"

He began to remove her other shoe, taking his time to answer. "You always look pretty, Temari. You were pretty even when you were kicking my ass in the chunin exams. A dress and some jewelry brings a bit more attention to your beauty but without them your beauty doesn't fade."

His hands released her ankles to slide up her legs. She tried to stifle her moan when he began to massage her calves.  _He thought she was beautiful?_

"We're going back to Konoha tomorrow." His hands slid a bit further up, over her knees, his thumbs pressing into the sore muscles of her thighs, soothing away the knots. She shut her eyes and lied on her back, almost tempted to fall asleep just like this. "I tried to talk to your brother today."

Her eyes fluttered open. "Gaara?"

He nodded. "I thought…I thought since I was going to be hanging around you a lot I might as well try to get to know him a bit more."

"Hanging around me a lot?" She tried to hide her smile.

He sighed in annoyance. "I figured I needed your family's approval before anything." He grumbled.

Temari was a little tired, and more than a little drunk, but her heart was skittering like a love struck child's. Shikamaru wasn't prone to dramatic proclamations of love—she knew what he was implying. She sighed and spoke through her nervousness. "Think you can help me out of my dress?"

Shikamaru's hands stilled. She knew he was intelligent enough to understand what she was really asking. He stood, his hands slowly lifting her skirt up. "It'll be a bit troublesome but I'm sure I can manage."

* * *

His hand on the arch of her back, he ushered her into his bedroom, locking the door behind them. She shivered a little as his hands slid around her waist and over her stomach, his mouth hot and damp on the side of her neck. She let her head roll back onto his shoulder, felt his hands slide over the front of her body possessively. Slowly, his hands bunched the fabric of her dress upwards, her back firmly pressed to his chest.

"I like your dress," He whispered the words against her ear as he exposed her thighs and hips. "I wanted to touch you so much my hands were shaking." His fingertips brushed down her quivering belly, slid beneath her panties and paused. "I thought of doing this…" His fingers curled up between her thighs and she gasped, her hips jerking into his hand helplessly. "Touching you like this…" He rubbed her lightly, holding her up when her knees quivered.

"Gaara…" She moaned breathlessly. "Let's go to the bed."

She felt his smirk against her temple. "Patience, Sakura."

She bit her lips as he adjusted his hand, his knees parting her legs to give him better access. "I thought of feeling you like this in my hand…I thought of the sounds you'd make when I pleasured you."

She shuddered as his fingertips moved more quickly, her nails digging into his arm. "Please."

He chuckled but she felt him shiver against her too. His hand pulled away and she whimpered, leaning forward when he tugged her zipper down. He pushed down her dress and panties, the lacy material tangling around her heels, the only thing she was now wearing. The cold air made chills spread across her skin and before she could cover herself his hands captured her wrists, bringing them around the back of his neck. She felt his still fully clothed body against her back, felt incredibly more exposed because of it.

"Keep your hands up here." He commanded, his voice dark, leaving no room for protest.

She linked her fingers together and clung. "You still have your clothes on."

"Aa." His hands roved over her bare body slowly, his hands cupping her breasts. "Step out of the dress."

She did, struggling to take off her heels and failing. He gave another chuckle, then turned her to face him, lifting her up against his chest. She wrapped herself around him, let him place her on the bed gently. He grabbed her ankles and slid her shoes off, his pale green eyes traveling over her bare body with a lustful thoroughness that made her heart pound.

"Your shirt." She demanded breathlessly.

With a nod and a smirk, he pulled his shirt over his head and crawled onto the bed over her naked form. He kissed her as he slid her towards the center of his huge bed, her hands working on removing his pants. She slid her hands beneath the fabric—gasped a little when her fingers gripped him. He was hardness wrapped in smooth and soft skin, and when she slid her hand down his length tightly he groaned and dropped his forehead onto her shoulder.

"Sakura," He bit out as she slowly jerked her hand over his erection, her mouth kissing down his neck and chest. She pushed his pants down his hips, exposing him to her curious gaze. He gave a soft curse when she thumbed over the tip, pinning her hands beside her head. "I'm trying to go slow."

She wrapped her thighs around his waist, loved the way he trembled over her. "Don't."

He kicked away the rest of his clothing, his hands grabbing her hips tightly as he positioned himself against her. Slowly, so very slowly, he slid himself into her inch by inch.

She arched a little at the discomfort, gritting her teeth. He paused, his eyes watching her face carefully. "I'm hurting you." His voice was beyond strained.

She gripped his hips and pulled him towards her. "I don't care."

He grabbed her wrists in one of his hands, pinning them above her head. "Slowly." He repeated, and as he sank deeper into her body he never stopped watching her reaction. She shut her eyes as the air left her lungs, groaned when his hips pressed flushed to hers.

He was shaking with the effort to keep himself still. "I can't…"

She opened her eyes, found his latched onto her parted lips. She moved her hips beneath his and felt his control break. He dropped his forehead onto her chest with a groan, his hips settling into a hard, deep rhythm, his hand still pinning her arms above her head. His other hand crept between her thighs, his fingertips rubbing her roughly.

She didn't know how long he held her beneath him, only that with every passing moment her body adjusted to his, the discomfort fading into nothing. His mouth covered her breast, suckling firmly, his red hair dampening with sweat. He was trying to be gentle, trying to be patient—but she kept bucking beneath him, spreading her thighs a little wider to accommodate him until  _finally_ he cracked, thrusting into her fast and hard.

She cried out as the sharpness of the sensations burned brighter, his hand releasing her wrists to grip the sheets beside her head in his fist. He kissed her harshly, muffling her cries as she arched under him, her orgasm peaking with blinding intensity. She shook beneath him violently, her nails raking his back as he continued to thrust, prolonging her pleasure almost painfully. She heard him groan her name and she clutched her hands into his hair as his own climax took over him, his hands bruising her pale hips.

He buried his face into her throat, breathing harshly, trembling as his heart began to slow. He rolled over, bringing her with him. She snuggled onto his firm chest, propping her chin on laced fingers to look at him.

He looked adorably dazed.

"Did I hurt you?" He asked her quietly, his kisses soft and apologetic.

"No, Kazekage-sama." She kissed his nose playfully. "I am not as fragile as I look."

"Hm," He ran his fingers through her damp pink hair, fingering her gold circlet. "We forgot to take this off."

She laughed a little, tried to untangle it from her hair. "I must have looked ridiculous."

"I liked it, actually." He placed it on the nightstand. "Makes you look like royalty."

She arched a brow at him. "Well, I now  _am_  the Kazekage's mistress." She placed her cheek on his chest and breathed deeply. "So, in a way I'm royalty by association."

He grabbed her chin and lifted her face. "You're not my mistress."

She rolled her eyes. "I was joking."

His expression was grim. "Stay with me."

"I am." She kissed his palm. "For tonight."

"Stay with me in Suna. I cannot court you if you leave."

"Gaara—"

" _Sakura._ " He pinned her back underneath him, his eyes narrow and fierce. "This is not temporary.  _You_ are not temporary."

She leaned up and kissed his throat, trailing her mouth down towards his chest. "I don't want to argue." She slithered a bit lower, her tongue tracing little designs over his stomach. "Make love to me again." She pushed him onto his back. "Make me feel good again."

He shuddered and let her straddle him.

She kept him distracted for the rest of the night.

* * *

He didn't really know how many times they'd woken through the night. He only knew that he'd had her enough times to slake a normal man but as the sun began to rise he found his hands wandering over her yet again.

She was deeply asleep, her naked body pressed against his beneath the covers. She stirred when he took her breast into his mouth and he smirked when she groaned.

"No," She pushed at him. "I'm too sore."

He chuckled and obeyed, curling his arms around her. She nuzzled his throat, the sweet gesture making his pulse pick up. "Morning, Sakura."

"Morning." She stretched like a drowsy kitten, his hands rubbing her bottom soothingly. "How did you sleep?"

He pushed her hair away from her face. "You hardly let me sleep at all."

She gave him a sleepy glare. " _You_ are the one that kept waking  _me_ up." Her arms slinked around his waist, burrowing into his chest. "Let's go back to sleep."

He sighed. "I have work to attend to."

He chuckled at her soft curses. "Why are you so cheerful this morning?"

He shrugged. "I'm usually not much of a morning person, really." His fingertips smoothed up her slender back. "But waking up to this has me in a very good mood." He paused before he continued. "It would be even better if I knew I'd be waking up to this tomorrow morning, too."

She stiffened slightly—and surprised him when she crawled over him. Her mouth slid over his chest and down his stomach. "I know what will put you in a better mood." She teased, her mouth trailing lower.

And as he grasped her head between his hands, he couldn't help but agree with her.

* * *

She snuck back into her room as quietly as she could, her wet hair dripping all over her balcony. She pushed the doors open and dropped her heels in surprise when she saw Sasuke sitting in a chair beside her bed.

"Sasuke-kun!" She fidgeted with Gaara's shirt, vainly tried to tug it lower to cover her bare legs. They'd shared a shower and she hadn't really wanted to put her dress back on, so Gaara had simply tugged his shirt over her head.

As Sasuke's narrowed eyes roved over she regretted her choice viciously.

"Is this why you didn't want to leave Suna, Sakura?" His voice was icy. "Because you were warming the Kazekage's bed?"

She swallowed thickly. "Sasuke-kun, please don't…don't assume anything because of this." She found her shorts and slid them on, a furious blush staining her cheeks. "I already agreed to go back to Konoha."

He gave her a severe look. "Aa." He stood, his jaw clenched tightly. "Pack your things now. We're leaving in an hour."

He left without another sound.

* * *

"The kazekage is in a meeting." The shinobi informed Sakura apologetically. "He'll be out in an hour."

Sakura fidgeted with the straps of her back pack. "I understand. Could you please hand him this?" She held out a small sealed letter. "Tell him to forgive me for being unable to say farewell. Tell him I…" She shook her head. "Never mind. Thank you."

She bowed and turned on her heel, made her way out of the kazekage tower as quickly as she could. She found everyone gathered there, along with Temari and Kankuro and Juro. She smiled at them a little sadly. "A bit strange but, I'm going to miss you guys."

Temari hugged her tightly. "I'll see you soon. I make trips to Konoha often anyway."

Sakura nodded—squeaked when Kankuro picked her up in a bear hug. "Sakura-chan!" He crushed her ribs then dropped her back onto her feet. "Come back soon, yeah? You're a good influence on my little brother." He ruffled her hair affectionately.

She batted his hand away. "Take care of Matsuri-chan."

He blushed. "I will."

Juro stepped forward and bowed. "Sakura-san, you have always treated me very kindly. I am very grateful to have been able to—"

"Come here, Juro-san." She hugged him tightly. "You take care of Temari-chan, okay? Make sure she has fun every once in a while."

He nodded furiously, unable to speak coherently.

She gave Shikamaru a covert glance and smiled at his scowl.

"Goodbye." They all waved and as they ran towards the gates of Suna, she tried to tell herself the sharp ache in her chest wasn't there at all.


	11. Chapter 11

Gaara raked his hands over his face, trying to clear his mind of the cobwebs. The meeting had just been dismissed and he was about to leave to look for Sakura—when a shinobi stepped in front of him.

"Forgive me, Kazekage-sama but I have a letter here for you."

"Place it in my office. I'll attend to it later." He needed to convince her to stay somehow, needed to show her that he meant what he'd said. He'd let her distract him each and every time he'd tried talking about it but this time he'd keep a safe distance from her mind numbing touch. At least until he could convince her.

Then the mind numbing touches would be encouraged.

"It's from Haruno Sakura. She asked me to give this to you and to tell you that she apologizes for not being able to say farewell."

Gaara went very still. The shinobi gave him a half apologetic look as he held out the small cream colored envelope. When Gaara didn't take it he pulled back his arm. "I'll leave it in your office—" He turned to leave and choked when he felt sand wrap around him.

Gaara turned the man and plucked the letter from his hand, promptly releasing him. "I'm sorry…" Gaara furrowed his brow, the sharp ache in his chest making his lungs feel punctured. "When did they…?" Could he catch her?

"About an hour ago."

Gaara nodded. Knowing them he knew they'd be going at full speed. "Is that all she said?"

The shinobi nodded. "She tried to see you but you were in the meeting, Kazekage-sama, and I told her you couldn't be disturbed." He smiled as if seeking his approval. "I'll have her room cleared out by this afternoon."

Gaara felt a curious numbness take over him. "Don't touch her room." He inhaled slowly. "You're dismissed."

The shinobi looked like he might protest but he gave him a threatening glare and he left the room like a frightened rodent. He made his way to her bedroom, running his thumbs over his name written in her pretty scrawl intimately.

He sat at the edge of her bed, saw that she had left the small gold circlet on the nightstand.

Why couldn't he breathe very well?

He opened the letter and read it several times, his mind slow to comprehend.

_Gaara-kun,_

_I had to leave, you know that. Being with you was much too addicting. This morning…I could have stayed with you the whole day. It took a lot out of me pulling away. But I'll look back on our moments with fondness. You were my first. I'll always remember you. Let's look at this positively—we both learned a lot from each other, I think._

_I'll miss you, Gaara-kun. Take care of your brother and sister. Take care of yourself. I need to go home now._

_Sakura_

Gaara carefully folded the letter back up and placed it on the bed beside him. Slowly, he reached out and grabbed the circlet, memories flickering like knives scabbing his skin.

The way she'd moaned his name when he slid into her. The way she wrapped herself around him when she was close to climaxing, her nails scratching him as he moved inside of her and rode her through her orgasm. The way she asked him to make love to her again.

_"Make me feel good again."_

He remembered her small, self-satisfied smile as she'd straddled him, telling him to keep his hands to himself as she took her own pleasure from his body, her small hands digging into his abdomen as she rode him.

_"I'm so sore." She whined._

_"Just one more time."_

_"You said that three times already."_

But she'd spread her thighs for him anyway, her hands tugging at his hair in fistfuls.

He remembered the way her lips trembled when she was trying to be quiet.

He saw the small wastebasket beside the night stand, the wire mesh displaying several crumpled balls of paper. He brought it towards him with his sand and poured the contents over the blanket. He opened all of them, his hands shaking more violently as he read through them.

They were all for him.

Some were badly smudged, others three paged letters that she'd furiously scratched out and torn and crushed. Words she'd wanted to tell him but hadn't.

_I don't want to leave. I want to stay._

_You terrify me, Gaara._

_You've made me so stupidly happy._

_I don't know how to tell you this but_

_I don't want anyone else to touch me anymore._

_You've ruined everything for me._

_Do you think when we're older and we get married we'll still remember each other?_

_I'm going to miss your stupid, pretty red hair and your bottle green eyes._

It took him a while to piece the next one—she'd shredded it wrathfully, more so than the others. His throat ached sharply.

_I think I'm falling in love with you. I don't know what I feel anymore but I know leaving feels like a knife in my heart and I don't want to hurt you but I don't want to hurt me either. How can I stay here? They need me. I need to fix things and then maybe I can be with you._

_Do you think you'll still want me?_

_I just wanted to tell you that the time I had with you was a dream. I'm sorry for saying it was temporary. You felt like the sun when I was cold. You reminded me of my stupid fantasies of sandcastles and seashells._

_Please forgive me._

_Please remember me always._

_I'm so sorry._

He touched the pieces of paper gently then lied on his back.

There was a knock on the door.

"Now now." Gaara growled.

"Kazekage-sama, please, it's urgent."

Juro? He sighed and stood. "Come in."

Juro stepped in nervously. "The Anbu have managed to derive a confession from the shinobi Sakura-san and Temari-san caught."

He felt a small flower of apprehension bloom in his chest. "What is it?"

"Their base is in the cave where they kept Sakura-san. They know the Uchiha came to Suna and they have orders from Orochimaru to capture him before he can reach Konoha. Orochimaru plans to use Sakura's pain to force Sasuke to surrender. To force everyone's surrender."

Gaara had never moved faster in his life.

* * *

"Can you sense them, too?" Sakura asked Shikamaru quietly as they continued their brutal pace across the seamless, sandy desert.

He nodded curtly. "Naruto?"

"Yeah," Naruto's smile was feral. "Are these the same guys who captured you, Sakura-chan?"

She nodded grimly. "It's around the same spot too. The cave is just a little ahead."

"They're almost on us." Sasuke murmured, the first words he'd spoken since he'd found her sneaking back into her bedroom.

"We need to split so that those chains don't surround us." Shikamaru sighed.

Sasuke gave Sakura a cold look. "Stay with me."

Shikamaru ran after Naruto.

 _Stay with me._ She sighed. Of all the words he could have used.

She was distracted when the first chain flew at her. She managed to dodge it nonetheless, twisting clumsily—Sasuke caught her and pushed her onto her feet.

She slammed her fist into the ground, forcing the three shinobi out of the sand. As they flew up Sasuke threw explosive tags at them. They scattered and slammed into the ground and Sasuke gave a small grunt of satisfaction.

"You were captured by this?"

She shook her head, feeling a little disgruntled. Couldn't they have put up more of a fight? "There's going to be a lot more."

As if on cue, they erupted about them in waves.

She adjusted her gloves. "The chains you can touch—it's the cuffs that are dangerous."

Sasuke pressed his back to hers, drawing out his blade. "Aa."

They broke apart in a flash, and as she crushed the earth she heard Sasuke's chidori ring sharply in the air. She kicked a shinobi, sent him crashing into a group of his comrades.

A chain flew at her head and she flipped away—a horrible pain shot through her neck and she felt her body crumple. She hit the ground hard, heard Sasuke yell her name.

She bucked in the sand, the agony numbing her brain—she saw another chain sail towards her. She forced herself to roll away, Sasuke lifting her up and dodging when more chains snapped towards them.

"Sakura?"

She dug her nails into his shirt. "Get away." She tried to push him away but another shock of pain electrified her and she muffled her scream into his chest.

_Oh, Gods, make it stop, please, make it stop._

Sasuke held her with one arm as he blocked the chains with his kusanagi—but then a cuff clicked around his arm.

He cursed and dropped her.

She moved through the pain and gripped the chain between her gloved hands, breaking it with a cry, sweat dampening her hair. She pressed her fingers into his arm and reopened his sealed chakra points.

She couldn't be a burden. She had to fight through the pain.

"We don't have to fight." One Shinobi called out, his face covered with a maroon mask. "We can heal her pain. All it requires is that you surrender yourself to Orochimaru."

Sakura grabbed the front of Sasuke's shirt and shoved him behind her. She glared at the shinobi with all the hate she could muster. "No."

The shinobi shook his head—and the pain tore at her neck, climbing up her jaw and skull, her arm going numb.  _It's a genjutsu. It isn't real. It isn't, it isn't._

"I'll surrender." Sasuke stepped in front of her.

"No!" She grabbed his wrist and yanked him back. "I won't let you."

"Make it stop." Sasuke glared at the shinobi, still demanding even when he was surrendering.

She gritted her teeth and lifted her fist—and with all of the strength she could scrounge up, punched the ground. The earth shattered beneath them, caving in as the shinobi scattered and were swallowed up. She grabbed Sasuke and shoved them both into a cave behind them. She threw him into it, dropped to her knees as the pain gripped her again.

She panted. "I'll bury you in here if I have to." She pressed her hand against the side of the cave.

Sasuke looked at her bitterly. "I can move faster than you can."

She clawed at her neck until she felt blood make her fingers slippery. "I'm stronger than you."

He glared. "You've done enough, Sakura. I've caused you enough grief and pain." His sharingan swirled and she shut her eyes, refusing to succumb to his genjutsu.

"Stop."

Suddenly he was standing over her, his hands gripping her head and lifting her face up.

Her eyes were locked onto his helplessly. "It's a genjutsu, isn't it?" He murmured, a little surprised. She tried to look away but couldn't, the sharingan swirling more and more rapidly. "I'll stop the pain myself." He bit out and she couldn't move a muscle as he slowly lifted his kusanagi.

_Oh, gods, not now. He couldn't lose it, not now._

"Sasuke-kun…" The pain in her neck was dulling as his sharingan spun.  _He's breaking the genjutsu even as he's losing his mind again._ But she still couldn't move. "Sasuke-kun, please don't."

His eyes dropped to her lips, and then his mouth pressed to hers brief and hard.

"You made a good messenger, Sakura."

Her eyes widened as his blade swung down.

* * *

Gaara never took himself as being a man who could be surprised easily. He'd come here expecting many things—the whole group being captured, seeing them fight to protect the Uchiha, Sakura in agony and chained up—what he saw instead completely floored him.

He'd reburied most of the enemies in his sand, earning a thanks from Shikamaru and Naruto, and he'd left them to finish the rest off as he searched for Sakura.

He'd sensed their chakra in the cave, going erratic and surging powerfully. He'd stumbled as he walked in. He saw her on her knees before the Uchiha, blood dripping from her neck and covering her chest, Sasuke standing over her with her face in his hand.

His blade was raised in his other hand as if to strike her.

And he was kissing her.

For one brief moment of madness, Gaara understood why Sasuke had attacked him when he'd found him and Sakura sparring.

The image was enough to make even the iciest men burn.

The blade swung towards her head.

His sand moved towards the Uchiha without another coherent thought.

* * *

More than fear, she felt pity move her as his kusanagi came towards her. Sasuke had tried so hard to redeem himself. He'd never said as much but she'd seen the way he'd accepted his punishments without a scowl, the way he'd struggled to ask Naruto to forgive him, the way he'd thanked him. The way he'd let her into his shell, and let her heal him physically and emotionally—the way he'd thanked her for all the birthday cakes and lunches she'd ever made him.

And as she thought of how long and hard he had struggled, more than pity,  _anger_ burned her. He didn't deserve this. He was just getting better.  _Why couldn't they let him get better?_

If he ever came back to his senses, she knew he'd never forgive himself for killing her.

But at the very last moment she saw his blade shift away, cutting a light line on her cheek—and then she saw sand shield her.

Sasuke leapt away, the sand following him like hungry snakes. With the genjutsu broken she gained control over her limbs and stood, finding Gaara at the entrance of the cave, his green eyes locked onto Sasuke.

She leaned against the stone wall.

"Don't hurt him."

He didn't look at her.

"Gaara?"

Still, his eyes held onto Sasuke as his sand tried to grip him.

She stumbled towards him, grabbing the front of his shirt. His jaw clenched. "Get behind me."

"Just hold him still. Please, just hold him, don't do anything else. I think I can heal him."

Gaara shook his head minutely. "He almost killed you. He would have killed you if I hadn't gotten here at the very last second."

"No—Sasuke-kun turned his blade away. He fought it, Gaara, he only scratched my cheek, see?"

She heard Sasuke's chidori and whirled.

They were going to kill each other. Sasuke was struggling with madness while Gaara wasn't holding back. She knew Naruto and Shikamaru were probably still struggling and they'd be too late.

She could knock out Gaara but she didn't stand a chance against Sasuke alone.

Did she have any other choice?

"I'm so sorry."

Gaara looked at her briefly in confusion.

She punched him hard enough to send him flying out of the cave. It felt horrible.

_But they were going to kill each other if she didn't do something._

His sand fell and Sasuke dropped back to the ground, breathing harshly. She looked at him grimly. "Please, stop, Sasuke-kun. I know you weren't going to kill me.  _Don't let him have you._ "

His sharingan kept spinning. He spoke as if he was being strangled, his throat working viciously. "Sakura?"

She walked towards him. "Hi, Sasuke-kun."

He shut his eyes and took a jagged breath. "I killed you."

"No." She touched his cheek tentatively. "I'm right here. See? You almost did a few times but you always managed to get control of yourself right at the end because we're good friends, you and I and Naruto. We're team seven. Kaka-sensei taught us how to work together. To look after one another."

He looked down at her.

She let her hands slide around him as if to embrace him. "Can I hug you, Sasuke-kun?"

Slowly, unsurely, he nodded.

She wrapped her arms around him tightly. She inhaled deeply. How long had she loved this man?

"Forgive me." She laced two fingers with chakra and struck the back of his head.

He went limp and she finally let him go.

* * *

He'd had enough damn surprises to last him for a lifetime.

She'd punched him hard enough to send him flying. He should have expected it. Before he'd hit the ground several of Naruto's clones had caught him, and they'd stumbled over the sand. They dissipated until the actual Naruto ran over towards him, Shikamaru trailing behind him.

"Are you okay? Where's Sakura-chan and Sasuke?"

Gaara stood, clutching his hand to his ribs. "We were all in the cave until she punched me out of it."

Naruto looked at him in confusion. "Sakura-chan punched you?"

He nodded grimly. "Sasuke had been about to kill her. I think he still might be."

Naruto paled then turned and ran, moving almost faster than Gaara had.

With a puff of sand he followed.

* * *

They found Sasuke unconscious on the ground with his head in Sakura's lap. Her glowing hands were pressed on either side of his head, her blood and dirt smudged face streaked with tears.

"I'm sorry." She choked, looking at Gaara and then at Naruto. "I'm trying to heal him. I don't know if it will work."

Naruto dropped onto his knees beside them and looked down at Sasuke.

"He broke my genjutsu." Sakura murmured. "Even when he was struggling to control himself he broke it. And then I smashed his skull in." She shook violently. "But I can heal him." She blinked her tears away and suddenly her hands glowed more brightly. "Wake up, Sasuke-kun."

As if he'd heard her, Sasuke's eyes opened.

"Sakura?"

She whimpered. "Morning, Sasuke-kun."

He frowned. "Morning." He looked at Naruto with a scowl. "Why is she crying, dobe?"

She laughed but it twisted into a broken sob and she pulled him up, hugging him fiercely. Naruto wrapped his arms around the both of them, burying his own face against their heads.

Shikamaru sighed wearily. "Between the Suna siblings and Team 7 I might die before I can retire."

* * *

After several moments Gaara had found himself outside of the cave. His anbu had arrived not too long ago and were taking the chain shinobi back to Suna while the rest investigated the nearby caves.

He felt her approach from behind. "Gaara?"

He nodded.

She walked towards him unsteadily. She looked exhausted.

"Did you lie to me?" He asked her quietly.

She stopped. "Lie?"

He shook his head. "I saw him kissing you."

She bowed her head. "I...He wasn't himself, I think. He was about to kill me and he was trying to help me at the same time. He doesn't seem to remember anything."

"I wanted to kill him."

Sakura inhaled. "I know."

"Part of it was because he was trying to hurt you. Part of it was because he was  _touching_ you." He kept his eyes on the ground and tried to untangle his thoughts. "I never thought I'd want to hurt someone so much. At least, not since I had the shukaku removed." His sand began to shift about him again restlessly. "I think...I think it's jealousy."

Sakura shifted uncomfortably. "When he kissed me...all I thought of was you." He looked up at her now and she had her eyes closed, her breath growing more ragged as she continued. "I remembered your red hair and your eyes and the way your kiss was so different. When Sasuke-kun kissed me it felt wrong."

He felt his heart pound painfully in his chest. "Sakura..."

She held out her hands towards him.

He took them and brought her against his chest. "I'm sorry." She choked against him and he ran his hands into her hair.

"I understand." He inhaled her scent. "I should have listened to you but I...I didn't."

His words seemed to make her trembles worsen. "Thank you."

He pressed his mouth to her temple, shuddered when her mouth trailed up his throat. "Is it okay if I kiss you with all of your anbu watching?"

He smiled a little. "Aa."

She tugged his head down and kissed him fiercely, wrapping her small body around his. His hands cupped the back of her head, his fingers clenching into her pink hair as he drank her in desperately.

When they broke the kiss the words fell jumbled from his mouth. "I think I love you, too."

She slackened against him. "What?"

"I read your letter." He brushed her hair away from her face, touched the scratch on her cheek gently. "and I think I love you, too."

She was very pale. "I never…wrote that."

He smiled at her gently. "I found the letters in the trash."

She stepped back, a vivid blush covering her face. "I—I didn't—you weren't supposed to—"

He kissed her silent. "You can go back home."

"I can?"

He nodded. "You can go and say your good byes. But you need to come back to me."

Her beautiful green eyes shimmered with unshed tears. "What if…if I take some time?"

He kissed her forehead. "Then take time. I'll wait for you in Suna."

She smiled shakily at him. "You'll wait?"

His green eyes darkened as he watched her. "I'll wait."


	12. Chapter 12

"How are you doing, Sasuke-kun?"

She sat beside him at the table, smiling at him tentatively. He handed her a small cup of tea. "Better." It had taken him a while to recover his chakra.

Naruto sat on the other side of Sasuke and eyed the tea with a grimace. "You still don't remember what happened?"

He shook his head once.

Sakura smiled sympathetically. "At least you're better." She sipped on it gingerly. Sasuke's home was always very quiet—or, at least, it used to be. Naruto had moved in to keep an eye on Sasuke and ever since then the large, empty house hadn't had a moment of peace. She'd already packed her things and told her parents and Ino.

Now all she needed to do was tell her boys.

And it was one hundred times worse than telling her parents.

But it had been nearly a month since she'd seen him. Each day that passed made the ache much sharper. She wanted to see him. She missed him terribly. But she realized she needed the time to settle her thoughts into some semblance of coherence. She needed to untangle the relationships around her.

Specifically with Sasuke.

He'd been swept into detainment as soon as they'd returned, and she'd only been grateful that it had only been to reevaluate his mental state. She'd visited him every day and he'd hinted that he was glad to see her each time. By not scowling, of course, but she knew him enough that a lack of a scowl generally meant he was pleased.

He had amnesia of most of the stay in Suna and even of the events before—but he remembered kissing her.

It had surprised her, the way he'd brought it up. She'd finished her hospital shift and brought him his dinner and had been distractedly chit chatting about her day at work while pulling out the bento box when he'd muttered a soft "Sakura."

"Yes, Sasuke-kun?" He'd stayed quiet and she had grown worried. "Are you in pain?" Her hands began to glow as she reached for his chest to examine him—his pale fingers had snatched her wrists and held them.

"I kissed you."

She'd felt the breath leave her instantly.

She looked away. "Yes."

She could feel his dark gaze on her features. "I'm sorry."

She nodded, a little shakily. "I forgive you. You weren't thinking very clearly—"

"For the  _way_ I kissed you, Sakura. Not that I kissed you."

She looked at him, stunned. His thumbs unsurely rubbed small circles over her wrists. "I'm not sure what I'm feeling but I know…that it's enough. That I would like to try."

She couldn't feel her legs very well. "Sasuke-kun…"

"But I also remember seeing you sneak back into your room with his shirt. I remember feeling sick to my bones." He locked her gaze in his. "Sabaku no Gaara…" His eyes narrowed slightly in confusion. "You love him?"

She shut her eyes. Thought of his raw power and of his helplessness. Of the way he'd been so stunned by her touches. Of the billion times he'd asked her to stay. Of the all the ways he'd touched her and made sure she felt every sliver of pleasure he could give her. Of the way he'd held her while he'd slept; tightly, a little insecurely. "Yes."

Slowly, he released her wrists. "Then I'm too late."

She felt her eyes sting but she blinked them away, spoke through the shakiness of her voice. "I'll always love you, Sasuke-kun. I'll always be there when you need me."

His thumb rubbed away her tears. "I'm always making you cry."

She laughed and clutched his hand briefly, then released it. "I'm just a watering pot."

He didn't look convinced. "Make sure he doesn't make you cry like I did."

She smiled. "He won't."

And then they hadn't spoken of it since.

And it hadn't been awkward at all. She'd suggested Naruto move in with Sasuke and while both boys had  _pretended_ to hate the idea, they'd done it anyway. The first week they'd nearly killed each other several times but gradually they'd grown used to it. She'd found it funny that Sasuke did the cooking and cleaning while Naruto took out the trash and did any repairs. Instead of Naruto looking out for Sasuke it seemed Sasuke looked out for him.

At her giggle, both boys looked at her questioningly, bringing her thoughts back to the present.

She cleared her throat.

"Naruto…Sasuke-kun…" She twirled the small spoon nervously. "I'm leaving to Suna today. I'm going to live there, now."

Silence.

Naruto broke it first. "I kind of figured you would, Sakura-chan. I'm happy for you but…I was kind of hoping maybe you'd stay anyway."

She swallowed. "It's really hard."

Sasuke only stared at his tea.

"I'll miss you both."

Naruto stood and grabbed her in a crushing bear hug. "Who's going to heal me now, Sakura-chan? Or help me with the paperwork?"

She smacked him upside his head. "Is that the only reason you're going to miss me?"

He grumbled and released her. "Of course not."

She hugged him hard enough to make him protest, giggled when he said he couldn't breathe.

She looked at Sasuke. His dark eyes were still averted.

"I guess I should go." She touched Sasuke's shoulder. "Take care of yourself." She moved away—felt him grab her wrist and tug her forward.

And he was embracing her.

"Sa…suke-kun?" She felt his racing heart against her cheek, his arms wrapped tightly around her.

His mouth pressed to her temple. "Are you sure?"

She knew what he was asking.

She was shaking, her hands clenched into the back of his shirt. She'd been sure since he'd kissed her in the cave. She still loved him and she always would—but it wasn't the same anymore. When he'd kissed her all she'd been able to think of was spiky red hair and pale green eyes.

"I'm sure."

He released her. She smiled up at him. "Help Naruto with the paper work for me. He's a complete wreck at it."

Naruto grumbled incoherently.

"I'll visit soon."

They nodded, a little dejectedly.

She gave them both one last hug, her feet lifting off the ground.

* * *

She'd sent a letter an entire week ahead of her departure, informing them of her 'visit'. But she hadn't received anything in return. As she walked past the gates she felt her steps get a bit heavier, questions riddling her viciously.

_Why hadn't he written back? What if he'd changed his mind? What if the time apart had made him come to his senses and he didn't feel the same?_

When she reached the Kazekage tower Juro was there to greet her. "Welcome back, Sakura-san."

Perhaps it was because she was exhausted. Perhaps it was because emotionally, she was both elated and ripped apart because of what she'd left behind. Perhaps it was because she wasn't sure if Gaara even wanted her to be there.

She bit back her tears and threw her arms around Juro's muscular chest. "Did he miss me? I wrote him a letter but he didn't respond—and I came anyway, but I'm a little scared."

Juro was doing his hyperventilating again. "Ah, Sakura-san, the Kazekage, of course he…Ah, Sakura-san, people might have the wrong impression if they see us."

She nodded and sniffled, pulling away sullenly. "I'm such a mess."

"He's a mess." Juro suddenly blurted.

She blinked at him owlishly.

"The Kazekage, I mean. He's been an empty shell since you've left. He doesn't sleep very well or eat much. I find him in your room often. He's constantly fiddling with shreds of paper on his desk—they look like a torn up letter but I can never really tell because he's very possessive of it. He knew you were coming today and has canceled all of his meetings and asked his siblings to handle his duties for today and tomorrow."

She grimaced. She didn't like that he wasn't taking care of himself—especially if she was the cause. "Where is he?" She started forward, determined to find him and give him an earful. Then kiss him witless.

"He's not here."

She deflated. "What?"

"He's instructed me to keep you busy—and asked me specifically not to touch you—until the afternoon."

She frowned. "I thought he canceled all of his meetings…?"

Juro was blushing. "I believe he is preparing something for you. A gift of sorts."

She grumbled. She'd pictured running into his arms and having him kiss her until he'd robbed her of breath, not being kept busy by Juro until gods know when.

She sighed. She really had no choice but to wait.

* * *

"We're getting married."

Sakura looked dazedly at the ring on Matsuri's finger. "That was…that was really fast." She hugged her. "I'm happy for you. But I pity you at the same time."

Matsuri laughed as Kankuro grumbled. "I'm not that bad."

Sakura ignored him and looked at Matsuri firmly. "I can teach you how to castrate him by pushing one finger into his lower stomach."

Kankuro leapt forward and covered Matsuri's ears. "Time to go." He heaved her over his shoulder and left the dining room, Matsuri's laughter ringing through the halls.

Temari looked at Sakura thoughtfully. "Can you teach me?"

She grinned. "Shika-kun is going to strangle me, but I have nothing better to do, it seems."

* * *

The sun had begun to set when Sakura finally snapped. She leapt off her bed and flung her door open—and found Juro standing there.

"Juro-san?"

"He's ready for you." Juro stated simply, and motioned for her to follow him.

They walked in eerie silence through Suna until they reached the outskirts. The sky was a very lovely shade of purple, the stars beginning to shimmer above them. Suna had its beauty, she supposed. With the darkening sky everything seemed to leech of color, presenting a portrait of silver and black and soft violets.

As they walked she began to smell water. Was there a lake around here? In this dust bowl of a desert? Maybe she was imagining it. They had been walking for a while now and she was rather thirsty.

"Is he making you bring me out here to murder me?" She asked jokingly.

Juro looked horrified.

"I was kidding, Juro-san."

He blinked and nodded. "This is where I stop." He scratched the back of his head. "You see those trees? He's right in there."

She nodded, sensing his chakra. She reached out to touch his shoulder to thank him but he jerked away as if she was going to stab him.

"Juro-san?"

"The Kazekage said we couldn't touch! You already hugged me and I have disobeyed orders—Sakura-san, what are you doing?"

She kept trying to hug him. "Juro-san! This is ridiculous! Stay still!"

He kept dodging, twisting away and running in the other direction. "Good luck, Sakura-san!"

Had he really just rejected her hug? She pinched her nose between her fingers. She really was going to give Gaara an earful. He had Juro terrified. As she walked through the trees she heard the soft splashing of water.

She came to a clearing—and realized she hadn't imagined the smell of water. The lake was very small, a ring of sand spanning around it. It reflected the purple night sky prettily, and as she walked towards it she kicked off her shoes. It was beautiful, romantic, and she could almost forgive him but— _was that a huge sandcastle?_

She felt Gaara step behind her.

She held her breath.

"Sakura."

She shivered. "I missed you."

Slowly, his hands grasped her waist. They slid forward around her stomach, pulling her back towards his.

She inhaled and leaned back onto him, shut her eyes when his mouth pressed to her neck. "I nearly went mad waiting for you to come back."

Which reminded her. She turned and faced him—felt a little breathless when those jade eyes locked onto her—and glared at him. "You never wrote back."

He frowned. "You simply informed me that you were returning."

Her eyes kept latching onto his mouth but she refused to be distracted. "And you couldn't tell me you were happy that I was? That you'd be waiting for me? That you hadn't changed your mind?"

He scowled slightly. "I've told you—you aren't temporary. You're not."

"Well, a reminder would have been—"

He grasped her hair in his fists and kissed her. He broke the kiss and breathed against her neck. "I was ecstatic that you were returning." He kissed her soundly. "I've been waiting for you." He caught her mouth again. "And I haven't changed my mind."

She hummed her approval as he kept kissing her. "Just like that." She murmured against his mouth. "Remind me—often—just like this."

He smirked and nodded. "Aa."

She really wanted to do more than just kiss him. She tried to tug him down onto the sand but he shook his head and lifted her up in his arms instead.

She grumbled a little. "First Juro-san rejects me, now you."

He narrowed his eyes as he carried her across. "You tried to seduce Juro?"

She scowled at him. "I tried to  _hug_  him and he was so terrified he  _ran away from me._ "

Gaara smirked with satisfaction. "Aa."

She crossed her arms. "Do you have water?"

He chuckled a little, and they had a flash of when he'd first found her on the ground in the cave. His sand dropped a canteen into her lap and she giggled as she drank. "Where are we going?"

His eyes watched her lips encircle the rim of the canteen with a bit too much intensity to be innocent. She smiled.

"I made you something." He informed her, his voice a little rough.

She laid her head on his shoulder. "A present?"

He nodded.

When they reached the other side of the lake she was craning her neck up to see. It  _was_ a sandcastle. It was as intricate—if not even more so—then the tiny one he'd made her at the dining table. It wasn't as large as an actual castle but rather the size of a very small house. Each corner was a twisted pillar, the tops of them spiky and metal like. The sand walls looked like bricks and as they walked nearer she saw that they could actually  _walk_ into it. There was a small window with a wind chime made of pink sea shells.

She squirmed in his arms. "Put me down!"

He shook his head. "Stay still." She obeyed as he swept her inside.

The floor was made of loose sand and as she looked up she saw that it had no ceiling, providing a clear view of the glittering night sky.

"Gaara…"  _Gods, she would not cry._ "This is…"

"Do you like it?" She saw his slight frown of worry, his eyes seeking her approval. It was the same look he'd given her whenever he'd wanted to touch her but wasn't sure if she'd let him. "I've never…I wasn't sure how to do these things. It's why I took so long. I never felt satisfied with it. Suna doesn't have many flowers this time of year so I couldn't…"

She was going to cry. "It's stunning, Gaara." Her voice shook a little. "It's perfect. This is better than what I'd ever imagined." She wiped her eyes in frustration.

"Don't cry, Sakura."

She buried her face in his throat and chuckled waterily, wrapped her arms around his neck. "I love you."

She felt him shiver. He tugged at her hair gently, his eyes searching her face. "What did you say?"

She felt herself blush. "I love you."

He regarded her uncertainly. "Are you sure?"

She sighed and twisted so that her feet touched the ground. She pressed herself to him and pulled his head down, kissing him, giving him her answer. Dazedly, his hands swept over her body, tugging at her clothing impatiently.

She tugged at his in return, shuddered at the feel of sand beneath her bare body. He crouched over her, his mouth trailing lower until he found her breast. His teeth bit down gently on her nipple before he drew it into his soft mouth, suckling softly. She moaned quietly, her eyes fluttering open when she felt the sand shift and caress her skin beneath her. It felt incredible, feeling the sand stroke her skin while Gaara tended over her, distracting her while his hand trailed down her stomach.

His fingertips traced lightly between her legs, making her hips jerk upwards. She felt him smile against her skin as he stroked her a bit more roughly—and combined with the way his mouth was toying with her breast and the sand shifting beneath her she already felt too close.

"Gaara…" She gripped his hair and tugged, and he moved his hand away to position himself against her.

With a slowness that nearly drove her mad, he pushed himself into her. He held her still beneath him, his hand propping her thigh open, as he slid in inch by inch, his breath hot against her throat. She bit her lip and moaned when his hips pushed hard against hers, the sense of fullness making her feel heady.

"Like that." She gasped and he obliged her, his thrusts slow and deep. She'd already been on edge—after only a few hard thrusts she felt her body shudder and lock up, arching her neck back as she climaxed beneath him. She gazed up at the stars as her heart thudded harshly, his thrusts riding her through her orgasm, his soft groan muffled against her skin. "I love you." She repeated, pressing the words to his temple, and he shuddered over her, pausing briefly.

He inhaled shakily—and murmured something she couldn't quite catch—before he continued to plunge into her.

She was shivering, clawing at the sand as he quickened his rhythm, his mouth trailing over hers teasingly. His rhythm was breaking as his orgasm neared and she bit his bottom lip, flipping them over.

He cursed softly. "Sakura, I—"

She grabbed his wrists before he could push her back onto the ground. He was trembling faintly beneath her. "Let me." She pleaded, tracing her fingertips over his hard chest and stomach.

He nodded and shut his eyes. She shifted over him sensually; saw his throat work as he tried to stem his groan. She rode him as slowly as he'd rode her, enjoying the way he gradually descended into madness. He gripped her hips and jerked up but she pinned his wrists back down. "Patience, Gaara-kun." She smiled at him playfully.

His eyes narrowed. "Sakura." He warned.

She moved her body lithely over him, making him inhale sharply. His hand twisted in her grasp, slipping between her legs as she moved. His fingers rasped at her with every movement of her hips, and she shut her eyes as she felt the pleasure build again.

Still, she forced herself to move slowly.

It didn't take long for her orgasm to splinter over her body, and she collapsed forward, muffling her cries against his chest. Gaara flipped her back under him, his thrusts hard and quick and uneven, and she was still trembling when he came inside her.

"I love you." He bit out against her throat, his hand gripping her hair and arching her neck for his mouth. "I love you." He repeated, slumping heavily over her.

She kissed his temple. "I love you, too."

It took several minutes for his heart to stop pounding against her chest. She stared up at the night sky as her fingers played with his hair, his body soft and content against hers. His breathing against her ear made chills spread over her skin.

"Are we going to stay out here all night?"

He only breathed softly.

"Gaara?"

No answer. She peered at his face—and found him soundly asleep. She laughed as quietly as she could, hugging him affectionately. She quieted as she watched his sleeping face, her fingertips tracing the scar he'd carved into his skin.

She'd learned of his past and of why he'd done this to himself. She had ached at the thought of what he'd been put through. Of what he had still endured.

She shut her eyes and kissed the blood red kanji of  _love_ on his forehead.

She vowed to show him what it meant.

* * *

A while later he woke hearing the splash of water. He opened his eyes a bit groggily flipping onto his back. When had he fallen asleep?

He saw small footsteps leading outside the sandcastle. He pulled on his pants and stepped out, seeing a mop of pink hair floating on the nearly black surface of the lake. She submerged herself completely—then surged back up with a gasp, her pink hair slicked back.

"Sakura."

Her pretty green eyes went wide as she turned towards him. "You woke up." She lifted her hand from the water and motioned for him to come towards her. "Swim with me."

"You're going to freeze to death."

She laughed. "I know. That's why I don't want to come  _out_ of the water."

He held out his hand. "Come."

She sighed and obeyed, hesitating when the water reached her chest. "Do you have a towel?"

"Aa." He pointed to a small basket on the ground.

She waited. "Well?"

He made his way towards the basket and pulled out a small blanket, spreading it over the ground. Then he sat and waited expectantly.

She gawked at him for a few moments then scowled and stepped out. "Pervert."

He smirked, watching her walk towards him as modestly as she could, the sight of her bare wet body leaving him a little winded. She wrapped the towel around herself and grumbled. "You're worse than Naruto. At least you'd expect it from him." She sat beside him on the blanket and wrung out her pink hair over the side.

He pulled her against him, her cold wet hair making chills spread across his skin. "I'm sorry for falling asleep. I haven't been sleeping very well."

She looked up at him thoughtfully. She looked very young for a moment, her pink lashes glittering with water drops, her damp skin nearly glowing. Her green eyes looked more vivid then he'd ever seen them.

"I'll make sure you sleep every night from now on."

He watched a blush tinge her cheeks as she looked away. He'd heard what she'd meant.  _I'll take care of you. I'll stay with you._

She smiled a little. "I can't believe you made my fantasy real." She looked back at the sand castle, then at him. "You're kind of romantic, aren't you?"

He shrugged. "I wanted to make sure to do my best to convince you."

"Convince me?"

He felt uncomfortable. "Your letter simply said you were coming. I didn't know why. I hoped it would be to stay, but reasoned that it could also be you returning to simply tell me you'd decided to stay in Konoha. To stay with him."

Her eyes shimmered again. "You were going to try to convince me even if I said I wanted to stay in Konoha?"

He'd made her cry again. He sighed. "Aa."

She made a little hiccupping sob. "You did all this madness…this sandcastle…to convince me?"

Why was she repeating it? Hadn't she also come when she didn't know how he'd felt? "I wanted to do my best."

She crawled into his lap and hugged him tightly. "You didn't have to convince me of anything, Gaara. I love  _you._ Not romantic displays of lovely, secluded lakes, or beautiful sandcastles— _but you can do that every now and then and I won't mind at all_ —I don't need that because I love  _you_." She placed her hand over his heart.

He kissed her softly. He didn't think his heart would ever not stutter when she said those words. He tried to deepen the kiss but she burrowed into his chest, her cold nose pushing against his skin. She was wrapped around him like a sleepy child, her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. Her breath was soft against his neck.

"Let's go home." She murmured, a little drowsily.

 _Home,_ he thought with a little smile. She was going to stay.

"Aa." He pinned her down onto the blanket, tugging away her towel. He lowered his head. "In a while." He murmured against her pale stomach, relishing her shivers.

They stayed beneath the stars until morning.


	13. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I sort of did a few-years-in-the-future-style-epilogue of sorts. It's actually mostly drabbles of little head canons I was having the night after I finished the story. Inevitable problems, possible situations they'd confront. Senseless drabbling. Boring, mushy stuff.
> 
> You probably shouldn't read it and leave the story as is.

It had been two years since Sakura had decided to stay.

Loving Sakura had been very easy. Letting her love him had been both terrifying and addicting. She warmed everyone to her—much to his irritation, usually—and no one was ever really spared her kindness and rough handed care. Much icier men, men who'd intimidate entire villages, thawed helplessly in her presence.

On their wedding day, her tears hadn't really surprised him. They'd told him brides and tears go hand in hand—what had taken him by surprise, however, was his own loss of composure. He'd begun saying his vows steadily enough when it had suddenly struck him that the words weren't sufficient for what he felt.

He could promise to take care of her, to love her—but did that show how much it meant to him that she had loved him? How much it had meant that she had  _chosen_ him? That the way she trustingly leaned against him when he'd slaughtered countless men made his heart soar and his throat ache sharply. That she allowed him to touch her with his bloodstained hands, that she had forgiven his past actions, that she had ignored the wary looks of her friends and family when she'd introduce him to them…could she ever really understand how much she had redeemed him? How lonely he had been until he'd found her broken and bleeding in a cave?

He'd realized that everyone was waiting for him to finish his vows, tried to speak past the constricting tightness of his throat—and he'd seen the brief look of hurt across Sakura's glowing features—and he struggled even more to try and show her that he was not doubting their marriage.

She'd reached up then, her small pale hands smoothing over his face discreetly, and he pretended that he didn't feel the dampness of his tears when she moved her hand down to clutch his hands in hers.

"You really are romantic, aren't you, Gaara-kun?" She'd murmured, her smile gentle and encouraging.

And he'd sucked in a deep breath and forced out the words, trembled a little as he waited. When it had come time to ask if anyone wanted to protest the marriage it was silent, except for a few scowls and hopeful shifts from Naruto, the Uchiha and Lee.

And then he'd kissed her with a fierceness and a desperation that the vows hadn't been able to express. She'd kissed him back gently, accepting his ferocity and soothing him with her embrace.

And still after a year of marriage, he'd never really gotten over the novelty of her being in love with him. It'd surprise him sometimes, when he'd wake up and find her bare body entwined with his. It unnerved him to the point where he was terrified he might wear her kindness thin. He clung to her much too tightly when they slept; but she'd only snuggle in further. He made love to her much too many times, earning her whines and glares; but she'd part her thighs and oblige him each and every single time. He'd become irritated with work, frustrated with useless, drawn out meetings; but she'd kiss his cheek and tug his hair (in front of the elders, anbu, and staff alike), making his pulse flutter, and all of the bitterness and resentment promptly left him.

He didn't even mind when the rest of them smiled at him knowingly after she'd left.

He wanted everyone to know he loved her.

He wanted everyone to see that someone had found him worth loving.

There were times, however, when the inevitable skirmishes occurred—like now.

His wife crossed her arms and glared up at him with a wrath that made him sigh. She arched a pink brow at his silence.

"Sabaku no Gaara," She began and he tried not to smirk at the name she called him whenever she was angry. "I am not a prisoner here. You told me I could go to Konoha whenever and however many times as I pleased. _You promised._ "

He sat in his chair and rubbed his temples. "Things have changed."

She slammed her palm down on the desk. "I am going whether you like it or not."

He looked up at her grimly. She was beautiful in her anger, like she was beautiful in her sorrow and laughter. He was close-mouthed and astute enough to know how to  _not_ make her angry most of the time, and while they may have been polar opposite's personality wise what they shared in common was a bone deep stubbornness that both thrilled him and drove him mad.

They didn't argue often but when they did it was a test of steel will against another. They resolved it usually with some kind of a display instead of an apology.

He'd leave a bowl of her favorite sweets in the library and sulk back in his office until bedtime.

She'd saunter in after a meeting with a cup of tea and sit on his lap then proceed to give him those groan inducing scalp massages while grumbling.

If it dragged out long enough they'd resort to something a bit more heated.

He'd lock them both in the library or shower and pull her up against the wall and thrust into her until she was reduced to an exhausted, boneless puddle in his arms, then let her sleep it off for the rest of the day and wake her with breakfast in bed.

She'd walk into his office and slink beneath his desk, her mouth trailing lower until his fists were clenched in her pink hair as she pleasured him witless and when he came to his senses she was sitting on his lap and doing his paperwork for him.

"You can't keep me here."

He focused back on her. She didn't look as angry—but she looked every bit as resolved to fight him. He rubbed his temples again. "You can hate me, Sakura, but I won't budge on this. You are not leaving Suna. I'll have my anbu make sure you won't."

"I won't hate you, Gaara, but…" She shut her eyes and stepped away from him. "You promised."

"Sakura—" He inhaled sharply when he saw her crying. He tried to reach for her but she jerked away.

"I want to see them." She wiped at her face miserably. "I want to see my mom and dad. I want to see Naruto and Sasuke-kun and Kaka-sensei and Sai and I even want to see Ino-pig." Her brow crumpled. "I miss them."

He could never stand it when she cried. He stood and tugged her into his chest, holding her still when she struggled. "Stop." He chided and he stroked her hair when she shuddered. She'd been much more emotional lately—she'd cry over a cooked and skewered lizard, fly into a rage if she saw a particularly large chain, snapping it in half with her awe-inspiring (and slightly frightening) strength. He'd often found her sleeping in odd places, her condition leeching her of her usual energy. His paranoia wasn't helping her nerves either.

He touched her stomach possessively, gently. It was still somewhat flat but he'd paid enough attention to notice the slight outward curve she'd developed. He found himself oddly impatient to see her full and round with his child. "You cannot travel to Konoha in your condition, Sakura."

She gave a little hiccup against his chest and he coddled her closer, murmuring into her ear soothingly.

"You expect me to go a whole nine months without seeing them? It will be even harder once the baby is born, Gaara!" Her small pale fingers bunched the fabric of his shirt. "I want to tell them in person. I don't want to tell them through a letter."

He sighed and pressed his mouth to her temple, inhaling her heady scent as his hand rubbed her belly tenderly. "You'd risk your health—our baby's health—just to tell them in person?"

She sniffled. "I'm a medic. I know what my limitations are."

"No." He muttered, holding her more tightly when she stiffened against him. "I'm sorry—but I will not risk it."

"You aren't  _risking_ anything."

"I am risking  _everything._ " Gaara lifted her chin, his jaw clenched. "How can I protect you if you are away from me?"

"I can protect myself."

"Not while you are with child. One wrong punch or misstep could—"

She pushed him away from her. "I don't—I can't argue right now." She walked towards the door while wiping her tear streaked face miserably. "I'm sleeping in my bedroom tonight."

She shut the door behind her.

* * *

She had wanted to go sulk in her bedroom for the rest of the night.

What she ended up doing was sitting on the kitchen counter and let the cooks spoil her with sweets. They'd been surprisingly kind to her, perhaps because they were so very terrified of her husband, but more often than not she found herself bothering them by picking at food they hadn't served yet.

"There's chocolate cake, Sakura-sama." One of the younger chefs informed her, his cheeky smile reminding her of Naruto.

She held out her hands. He laughed as he handed it to her, giving her a fork ruefully.

She dug in with only the smallest twinge of conscious. She shouldn't be eating so much junk food but gods, she craved it like mad. It had gotten to the point where anything that  _wasn't_ sweet didn't tempt her at all.

"Did you and the Kazekage get into another fight?" His dark eyes looked worried.

She sighed and slipped the fork out of her mouth. "Is it that obvious?"

He nodded but looked as if he did not wish to pry. "So many sweets are not good for the baby. You need to eat other foods also. Fruits and vegetables…"

She put the plate down with a sigh. "You sound like my mother." Without warning, tears stung her eyes. She covered her face in humiliation. "I miss my mom."

The chef panicked, fluttering over her and handing her a kitchen towel. He gave a nervous chuckle when she sniffled and wiped her face. "Sakura-sama, please, go to the dining table. I will prepare something soothing—a soup, perhaps, and a cup of tea."

She nodded and jumped off the counter, shuffled herself out the room. She was such a wreck. She was barely a month and she was already half crazy. She sat down and shut her eyes for a moment, terribly tired.

She never noticed when she fell asleep.

* * *

As a shinobi, there had been a few times when Juro had seen his life flash before his eyes. Once was when he'd been a child and he'd fallen off his roof. Another was when he'd gone on his first A rank mission and he'd gotten a sword cleaved into his chest.

The third was now, as he held a sleeping Sakura in his arms with the Kazekage standing behind him.

"You're touching her."

Juro turned in a panic. "She was asleep at the dining table—I tried to call you but you told me not now and an hour passed and Sakura-san kept slipping off the table. So, I th-thought it would be a good idea to take her to bed."

Gaara's eyes narrowed.

"To your bed!" Juro corrected himself. "I would never t-touch Sakura-san that way—the thought would n-never occur to me. Not that your wife is not b-beautiful because Sakura-san is one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen—her pink hair is lovely—and I-I'd still never touch her because I have the utmost respect for her. As a subordinate."

Sakura snuggled into his chest and softly mumbled 'Juro-san' in her sleep.

His knees shook.

Gaara stepped forward and Juro shut his eyes. He supposed he'd had a good enough life.

"Give her to me."

With his eyes still shut, he lifted out his arms instantly.

He felt Gaara pluck her away. "Thank you for taking care of Sakura."

Juro opened his eyes, saw the way Gaara gazed down at his sleeping wife tenderly. He smiled in relief. Sakura-san was a good influence on him. She softened him up without ever really trying or noticing.

"You're dismissed."

Juro nodded but hesitated. "Kazekage-sama? If I may suggest something?"

Gaara looked at him silently.

"At the end of the week I am making a trip to Konoha with a few fellow shinobi. It would not be a bother for us to escort any of Sakura-san's family or friends for a visit." He scratched the back of his head. "The cook mentioned Sakura-san crying for her mother."

Gaara said nothing for a few moments, then looked back down at her. The look was a deeply intimate one, and it made his cheeks heat. "Thank you. I'll let you know tomorrow."

Juro nodded with a nervous smile. "Good night, Kazekage-sama."

* * *

She woke feeling his fingers sifting through her hair. She was on her side and curled into him, her leg draped over his hip. She usually slept on her stomach but while he slept he'd tug her towards him tightly, so she'd simply had to grow accustomed to this position. Not that she minded waking up to find herself snuggled into the very firm chest of her husband.

"I'm sorry for making you cry, Sakura." His fingertips cradled her jaw tenderly. "I'll try not to do it again."

She sighed softly. "I fell asleep again, didn't I?"

He hummed and kissed her forehead. "You should go back to sleep." He kissed her in a way that told her he didn't really want her to. "I think I have a way for you to see your family without you leaving Suna."

She opened her eyes and looked up at him expectantly.

He touched her nose with a fingertip. "Juro is going to Konoha at the end of this week. He stated it would be easy for him to bring anyone you'd wish."

Bring them? She wanted to see all of them. She doubted Sasuke would come willingly and Naruto was still training to be hokage. Kakashi was lazy and Sai was usually out on missions.

"All of them." She murmured, knowing it wasn't likely. "My parents. Ino-pig. Sasuke-kun and Naruto and Kaka-sensei and stupid Sai. Anyone who wants to come. Maybe we can have a big dinner and celebration—like we did for our wedding. And we can announce the baby to them all."

He smiled as her enthusiasm grew. "We can do that."

She felt a little uncertain. "You promise?"

He kissed her softly. "I promise."

She hugged him tightly, wrapping herself around him happily. "I love you."

She felt his pulse pick up. His hands gripped her tightly and he breathed against her neck deeply. "Go to sleep. You're exhausted."

But she could feel his arousal against her hip, felt the way his breathing quickened. Gaara's sexual appetite had surprised her with its frequency and ferocity. She didn't exactly have much experience but Ino—and to her chagrin Tsunade—had told her it wasn't normal.

With her pregnancy and exhaustion she often found herself asleep before he came to bed. He'd never complained, but she knew the lack of intimacy must be driving him crazy.

Slowly, she shifted onto her back and grabbed his hand, leading it to the tab of the zipper on her shirt.

His green eyes darkened as his breath grew jagged. "You're tired, Sakura." But he tugged the zipper down anyway, parting the fabric and crouching over her.

"I had a nice nap." She murmured, shutting her eyes when his mouth slid down her throat. His pale hands tugged the rest of her clothing off and she shivered when he parted her thighs.

She arched against him and gasped as he filled her. "Just relax." He murmured as he moved, and she did anything but as they made love until the dark hours of dawn.

* * *

It had been  _nine months_  since they'd discovered Sakura was pregnant.

It was today that she had gotten contractions.

You could use many words to describe the Kazekage, Juro thought. A coward was not one of them. But as he watched him pace up and down the hall outside of the labor room with his sand shifting about him madly the only expression on his usually stoic features was a bald panic.

"It's taking too long." He muttered, and Juro clutched his hands in front of him.

"She is being attended by the two best medical shinobi in all the land, Kazekage-sama. She could not be in better hands."

It had surprised them when Tsunade and Shizune had showed up on their doorstep a week before Sakura's due date. Surprised them—but relieved Gaara immensely.

"Are you sure this is okay, Tsunade-shishou?" Sakura had muttered while hugging the chesty woman.

Tsunade smiled a little softly. "Of course it's okay. Let Naruto get a taste of being Hokage for a while. See if he's still screeching it from the rooftops." She thumped her back none too gently. "You're huge." She observed, pressing a glowing hand to her stomach. "Your baby is very small—fully developed but small." She eyed Sakura and Gaara. "No surprise, considering the parents." She pulled her hand away as Gaara stepped forward.

Gaara wrapped a protective arm around his wife. "You will deliver the baby?"

Tsunade nodded. "Of course. You're not going to get rid of me for a while, Kazekage."

Gaara gave her a thankful look. "I am glad you have come. While our medics are competent I do not believe anyone could match you medical prowess. Neither would Sakura feel more comfortable with anyone else."

"Medical prowess." Tsunade mumbled to herself, looking pleased. Tsunade nodded. "Indeed. I expect payment, however, for the trouble of leaving my village in the hands of Uzumaki Naruto. Gods know what kind of shape it will be in when I return."

Sakura had laughed a little. "There is a wonderful pub that Juro-san can show you."

Juro paled when everyone looked at him. "I-I can—?"

Tsunade eyed him appreciatively. "He can definitely show me a few things."

He blushed furiously.

Sakura blushed along with him, giving Tsunade a chiding look. "Tsunade-shishou!"

She'd laughed and he'd taken her to the pub the very next night.

He'd thought trying to outdrink Temari had been bad—but all of the men in the bar combined couldn't out do Tsunade. She'd become an instant favorite of the bartenders. He hadn't been able to stomach anything for two days afterwards.

They heard Sakura give a soft cry from within the doors, startling them both.

"She's in pain." Gaara sat on the chair and dropped his head in his hands. "This is going to be an only child."

Juro almost smiled.

A few minutes later Tsunade came out the door. Gaara flew onto his feet and before he could ask she interrupted him. "She's fine. The baby is fine. Everything went smoothly."

Gaara muttered a thank you then pushed into the room without another word.

Tsunade sighed and looked at Juro tiredly. "Think you're up for another night at the pub?"

* * *

"This is going to be an only child." Sakura muttered as soon as he entered the room. He stumbled towards her, his eyes riveted on the small bundle wrapped in white blankets in her arms.

He reached for it gently and she handed their baby over with a tired, exultant smile. "He looks nothing like me." She breathed deeply. "Even Tsunade-shishou said so."

The baby had a full head of scarlet hair, its skin pale wrinkly and reddened. He opened his small puffy eyes and looked directly up at him.

Gaara felt his heart pound painfully in his chest. "He has your eyes."

Sakura hummed softly, her eyes shut as she leaned against the pillow. "We both have green eyes." She sounded a bit disgruntled. "I carried him and fed him all the chocolate he wanted and he doesn't look a thing like me."

Gaara shook his head minutely. "I know your eyes. Perhaps it's a bit soon to tell but I'm sure of it." He caressed the infants head tenderly. Despite that one feature the baby really did look exactly like him. He smiled as a sense of pride filled him.

He sat on the edge of her bed and leaned forward, kissing her forehead gently. She gave a soft sigh, already sleeping. "I love you, Sakura. Thank you."

* * *

It had been six years since Sakura had given birth.

"I really don't know what to do." Sakura groaned, dumping herself into Gaara's lap. He pulled her more securely against him, kissed the top of her pink hair comfortingly. "Our child is brilliant—too brilliant. He annoys every one of his teachers. I've received fifteen letters in the past  _month_."

Gaara smirked a little, tucking her hair behind her ear. "We need to find him another teacher, then."

"We've been through six of them." She dropped her head into her hands. "He inherited my brain and temper and your stubborn attitude."

He was about to protest about him inheriting  _his_ stubbornness when they heard the door creak quietly.

A small chubby hand gripped the edge of the door, red hair and bright green eyes peering at them curiously. Sakura held out her arms.

Yashamaru grinned and tottered forward happily, crashing into Sakura's arms. She giggled as she lifted him up into her lap, cuddling him into her chest tightly. "You little heathen." She murmured. "Were you spying on mommy and daddy?"

He nodded without a smudge of remorse. He looked up at his father expectantly, then handed Sakura something. She took it curiously, lifting it up to inspect it further.

It was a tiny rose made of sand, a little out of proportion and it almost crumbled as she held it. Gaara watched tears well up in her pretty green eyes and he smiled at his son proudly. He'd only barely taught him how to sculpt flowers a few days ago. "It's beautiful, Yashamaru." She sniffled. "It's prettier than the hundreds of sand flowers your father has given me."

Gaara pinched her hip in slight retaliation.

She ignored him and placed the flower behind her ear. She took a deep breath and gave their child a grim look. "You know mommy likes presents—and I think you did that so I couldn't be mad at you."

Yashamaru crossed his arms and looked away, a posture much too mature for a six year old. "I don't like teachers."

Sakura clutched the top of his spiky red head and turned his face back to hers. "Do you want to become a powerful shinobi like mommy?"

Gaara pinched her again.

"And daddy?" She added.

Yashamaru didn't budge.

Gaara spoke now. "Don't you want to defeat your cousins?" Yashamaru looked up at him with wide green eyes—his wife's eyes. Eyes that softened him. He smiled a little. "They're getting stronger and stronger every day. They're getting stronger because they are learning from their sensei's."

He knew the mini rivalry Yashamaru had developed with his sibling's children—knew that if anything would fuel him, it would be that.

His son nodded.

"Then you need teachers." Sakura repeated for seemingly the millionth time. Yashamaru nodded again a little reluctantly then snuggled into her chest, making her buckle slightly.

Soon Yashamaru had fallen asleep and Sakura drowsily played with their son's thick red hair. He knew it wouldn't be long before she followed suit and he'd have his wife and son sleeping in his lap like kittens.

Sakura looked up at him with a tender smile.

"We're a bit of a handful, aren't we?"

He pulled her chin up and kissed her. "Nothing a Kazekage cannot handle."

* * *

It was after fifteen years of marriage that Gaara nearly lost Sakura due to an assassination attempt.

They'd been having dinner as usual, a rare night alone while Yashamaru had spent the night at Matsuri's and Kankuro's. He'd been eating his usual spicy meal while Sakura had only barely sipped at her wine because she was babbling about being worried about Yashamaru. He'd taken about his sixth bite when he'd felt a curious numbness settle over his face, and a sharp pain tear across his chest.

He tried to say her name but slid forward weakly instead—and she'd caught him instantly.

"Gaara? Gaara what's wrong—"

She pressed her glowing hands against his chest—they heard screams come from the kitchen.

"Poison. They're trying to assassinate you." Sakura whispered frantically, and she fumbled as she grabbed a pitcher of water and pulled out a large water bubble, pushing it into his chest and drawing out the poison. "We need to run. My arm is going numb too—but if I don't get this out immediately you'll—"

The screams intensified until it suddenly went eerily quiet.

She lifted him up and bolted—but something latched onto her ankle and ripped them back down. They hit the floor hard and he was helpless and paralyzed as he watched the men drag his wife towards them.

She reached forward and grabbed the string, breaking it easily. They rushed her but she grabbed a chair at the last split second and slammed it across two of them, wooden splinters flying everywhere.

A shinobi side stepped her and ran towards him with a kunai drawn but she flew to her feet and kicked the man away, standing before him protectively.

He'd kept begging his body to move, for his sand to shield her as she viciously fought them alone, her blood beginning to splatter across the floor and table. She kept blocking them every time they tried to reach his paralyzed body, taking brutal hits into her small body. Her movements were slightly sluggish, slower than usual, and he knew the small amount of poison she'd swallowed was causing her pain.

She flipped away when the leader swung down a heavy, wicked looking axe, neatly cutting the table in two. She punched the ground and formed a small wall between them and the shinobi, biting her thumb and slamming her palm on the ground.

She summoned a small snail and latched it over his chest. "Don't try to move." She commanded fiercely, and he only groaned as she leapt over the small wall and flew at the assassins with renewed anger.

He couldn't see past the barrier, could only hear the small cries and grunts and hard smacks of fists connecting, and then he heard nothing—and the snail suddenly vanished. He was slowly beginning to gain control over his limbs, tried to crawl out when he heard footsteps storming down the hall.

"Kazekage-sama!" Juro appeared with a small group of men and they ran towards him and lifted him.

He looked across and saw Sakura sprawled across a broken half of a table, the large scythe-like axe embedded into her abdomen viciously.

He jerked out of their grasp, stumbling forward towards her.

"The medics!" Juro shouted, helping the Kazekage towards his wife.

"Sakura…" Gaara groaned out, touching her face with numb fingers.

Her lashes fluttered but she kept her eyes shut. She lifted her glowing hands to her abdomen, but the glow was weak and flickering.

The medics rushed in, and he struggled to tell them to attend to her first but they prioritized him and he could only silently pray she'd live.

* * *

When he regained control of his limbs the first thing he'd done was search for her. They'd placed her in the room next to his and when he'd seen her, pale and frail but  _alive_ he'd stumbled over and tugged her into his arms.

He shook violently as he buried his face into her neck, his fingers bruising her soft skin as he clutched her to him.

"You look better." She murmured and he lifted his head to look at her. She had dark circles beneath her beautiful eyes, and her pink hair was still stained with splotches of blood.

He clenched a shaking hand into her hair. "I could strangle you."

She giggled weakly. "I can't really move so you probably could."

He held her face between his hands. "Don't you ever risk your life for me again, Sakura."

She shut her eyes. "Did you forget you're the Kazekage?"

" _Do you think that matters?"_ Her eyes opened in surprise at his ferocity.

"Gaara—"

"Swear it."

She looked a little angry now, his pink haired wife's famous temper kicking in. "You would have done the same for me."

"It isn't—"

"The same?" She interrupted, her pink brow arched. "No, it isn't. You'd swallowed much more poison than I did. I'm a medic, Gaara and I've told you time and time again  _I know what my limitations are._ " She jabbed a finger at his chest. "I was a little hindered but I could still fight. If I hadn't fought them they would have killed us  _both._ I can heal my injuries and others while I fight. If I had been at my full strength they would have been child's play."

He really did want to strangle her.

He kissed her instead.

She pulled him into bed with her and he held her protectively until she fell back asleep.

* * *

It had been twenty years since they'd gotten married.

He watched her glide towards him in her silky purple dress, a dress that reminded him of the night they'd first made love. She wore the gold circlet atop her long pink hair, and her small shy smile made his pulse pound as he reached out to embrace her.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.

"You're beautiful." He murmured, his hands tracing up her hips and waist. He touched her gold circlet with a rueful smile.

She buried her face in his throat. "You remember it?"

He nodded. "I remember saying you looked like royalty."

She smiled happily then gave him a bit of a haughty look. "I only  _look_ like royalty?" She turned away from him but he clung to her, burying his face into the side of her neck as she playfully struggled.

He snatched her wrists and brought them up over the back of his neck, loving her little shiver. She turned to look over her shoulder at him sultrily. "This brings back memories…" Her voice was low and throaty.

"Aa." His hands roved over her possessively. "Are you ready?"

She hummed and pulled away, laughing a little when he lifted her in his arms. "Romantic as ever, Kazekage-sama." She kissed him quickly. "Now hurry up."

He nodded and smirked, pausing briefly when she leaned up to gently press her lips against the kanji on his forehead. She really had showed him what it meant. With a sift of sand he took them back to their lake to find their sandcastle.


End file.
